My good friend found out last week that her first LO will be born with gastroschisis.
She is a very young mama who only just turned 21 and she doesn't have a great support system from her DP at home and he has a toddler girl who she helps raise.
She went to the appointment ALONE for the ultrasound to confirm what her OB suspected, although originally they told her the baby has Spina Bifida that turned out to be incorrect. I asked her repeatedly if she wanted me to go with her to the appointment and no response at all.
So she told me the news and while she couldn't even pronounce the name correctly she said it was "this gastro thing", I had a rough idea of what she meant and figured it out from there. She seemed really detached about the whole thing although in her words she is upset about having her baby have to be in the NICU.
From all that I've spoken to her about it she seems rather detached or in shock about the whole situation. I sent her a couple links and I even directed here to mothering.com and the forums because I just know this could be an incredible resource for her. Her LO will be fighting an uphill battle from day one but my friend can be as prepared as possible to help her LO in any way she can is my thinking in doing these things.
Well apparently it pissed her off because she is blowing me off every time I try to contact her to say hi and see if she wants to visit or set up a play date.
I feel like I overstepped my boundaries without realizing it. A couple of links I sent her were specific websites about gastroschisis and support groups, information etc.
I feel like this mama is brushing off the seriousness of this situation (or maybe I am speculating here and that is always bad). I just want to help her be as prepared as possible but maybe she is still in shock from learning this info or something because the last time I spoke to her about everything I tried asking her what she had learned about the condition and she said roughly that it's just "gotta get operated" and then it will be alright the baby will just have to stay in the NICU for a while until "things are cool"...I asked her if she wanted my old hospital grade pump and I would buy her new tubes etc. She asked me why she would need a pump, sigh....I said so she could still give baby BF in the NICU. She said she figured the doctors would just give baby formula. I asked her if the docs said that would be best and she said she was just figuring.
I am only trying to help my friend but at this point I am feeling like maybe I am just pissing her off because how could I know what she is going through, I had a perfectly healthy little girl with no issues BFing and no issues at all really.
So as SN mamas would you have been offended by all this? Should I just back off the issue completely or is there some other way I can help her?