Thinking I want more

[lactatinggirl]

This is a crazy thing to even be bringing up in my situation (because I only have 1 child so far), but I think I want more than 2 kids. My husband and I have always planned on having 2, maybe 3. Even though I'm not even at the point of having to decide this, I keep thinking I want 3. We're getting ready to start trying for our second and I just don't like the idea of this being my last time I'll get pregnant and give birth. If it's a girl, I'll be sad to never have a boy. If it's a boy, I'll be sad to never have a Meredith. I've kind of tip-toed around the subject with my husband a few times and he says he really thinks he'll feel done at 2, but his theory is that the one who wants more kids always wins because the desire to have more is stronger than the desire not to. Anyway, is anyone else in this situation or has been in this situation? How many kids does everyone want to have and why? Do you want more than your spouse or vice-versa? Any thoughts in general? 

[Peony]

It looks like we will end up with 4. I had 3 because I couldn't imagine not having them, there was a very strong desire each time. Dh was good with 3, honestly he probably would of been thrilled with just 2 but he willingly went along with 3. After #3 though, I didn't have the same MUST have another child feeling but I didn't feel done, he very much did. We had been seriously discussing it, and then I was pg, problem solved for me anyway, DH has had a harder time coming to terms with it but with us not using BC in 10 years, and him not doing anything to prevent it certainly was a possibility even if he didn't think so.  This one will be the last for us. I know for my DH I had to take it child by child, if I started spouting off that we'd have x amount more children, he'd feel overwhelmed and shut down, but when it came to taking about just one more (at a time) he'd handle it better. He did feel overwhelmed with 3, someone always needs something, needs to go somewhere, multiple children melting down and I know that is why he felt that was more then enough. Me on the other hand, while I don't always enjoy running around like crazy, I do enjoy a house full of kids and meeting all their needs isn't as big of a drain on me as it is on DH. 

[JenRN]

I'm in the same boat with my husband. Our DD is only 8 months old, and while I don't even want to think about #2 until DD is around 2 herself, I definitely want more children. DH on the other hand, confessed to me last night that he does not. I think he fears not being able to provide for 2+ children's needs (both financially and emotionally). He grew up poor with a sick younger sibling who demanded all his parents time. He even states that we "hit the baby lottery" with DD and didn't want to chance something going wrong.

The only advice I can offer, is to maybe shelve the conversation until a later date. I just figured if I don't even want to think about #2 until DD is older, why worry about it now? Maybe DH will change his mind once she's older. Maybe I'll change my mind and decide our family is perfect the way it is.

DH and I agreed to not talk about it again until DD's 2nd birthday. For now, I'd rather think there's at least a possibility of more children in my future than to know it's never going to happen.

[2Peaches]

Wish my DH thought as yours does about the desire to want more trumping....he feels the opposite.  I am really struggling with not having more than the two I have.