We will definitely find out. The day is a surprise, the weight is a surprise, how they look is a surprise. Their gender is a preparation and bonding stat we can use. :) We talk to baby by name from the moment we find out!
Gender...who's finding out? - Page 3
For those who are saying that studies show there is no improving the outcome with the use of ultrasound, does that not take into consideration the babies who are discovered to have some sort of defect on ultrasound that can either be operated on in utero or immedately after birth? What about the babies who have something that needs immediate attention after birth? If it's discovered before birth you 8am be prepared in the right setting with the right doctors. I just don't understand how it can be said ultrasounds have no affect on the outcome of any pregnancy. Am I misunderstanding?
Thank God for the ultrasound that caught my son's cleft lip and palate at 20 weeks. It would have been quite the shocker had we not found out ahead of time!
Good to hear the flip side of this, Hannah. I can imagine that a cleft palate would be something you'd need to prepare for medically, and emotionally.
I just want to say that I'm so glad that this group can discuss things so casually and calmly. I just want to be as informed as possible, and everyone has put in their view respectfully without any judgment on others. HUGS!
So going by your stats, if you don't find out you will have another girl :) I had all girls and didn't find out with them. My 14 year old is going crazy wanting to know with this one, she's sure it's a boy. She had the idea to find out from the u/s tech but not tell anyone...I didn't go for that!
For me, pregnancy and birth are a very spirtual, personal process. From my experiences in life, I tend to side with faith in God, the Universe, Nature, whatever that my body and child can and will have a positive experience, and I feel I cannot get that positive experience when I bring the process into the more medical spectrum because I prefer less technology and interference in my pregnancy and birth. I feel like the history of birth and midwives, supportive communities, less medical interventions, is an excellent place to draw support from. If I have an ultrasound, that is one more step towards welcoming medical interventions, for me. And I prefer not to take that step.
AlexisT, you are right, but wasn't there a large RCT or perhaps a meta-analysis on the 20 wk scan that showed no aggregate benefit in normal pregnancies? I admit I'm a little hazy on this -- it is not my area, though it's related. I could be completely misremembering. [ETA: I was not completely misremembering -- there was a US trial in the late 80s/early 90s between routine u/s vs. u/s with clinical indications only, which is what I was thinking of. However, it was a very small sample for the research question (n=15,000, which I would suspect is underpowered for some outcomes.) My institution's archives don't go back that far, so I can't see full methods and tables, unfortunately. The fact that this research is very old at this point makes it less relevant, too.]
In any case, as far as I am concerned, it is a moot point. Given my risk status, I will definitely be having a level II midway through, as well as a few others, including possibly amnio. And I plan to take advantage of the opportunity to find out gender this time.
It depends on his personality and how much it would upset you if you did find out. I briefly considered letting dh find out and it just being his secret but it would never work in our family. DH does not have the kind of personality to keep a secret so he would be telling everyone else in the world. My MIL would love the opportunity to spoil a surprise if she knew I really wanted it so she would have no problem telling me the gender after dh tells her.
In other words, it has the potential to upset me a whole lot more if dh knows and I don't than to just find out together.
If ds cannot come to the ultrasound then I think we're going to have the u/s tech write down the gender and seal it in an envelope. Then later when dh, ds and I are all together we'll have ds open the envelope and read it to all of us.
Wow, that sounds like torture to me! In my opinion, I think it is either you both know or neither of you know. I think if only DH knew, I would somehow find a way to pry it out of him. My DH would prefer to know, but we'll see- I'm not planning on getting any u/s, so it is not like he can find out without me... LOL