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I know Supermom doesn't feel perfect but it just seems like the influence is just going one way only - from her to me. She's given me a dozen ideas (that I've actually acted on) but I haven't been able to share anything with her. She is a bit older than me, though, so that is a bit of a factor.
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The family is very intellectual. I came from an intellectual family but I seem to have left that behind. My own mother probably isn't helping, because she'll hear of some detail and kind of say "you could do that" or "you could be that." I'm not talking about parenting here, but the mom and dad's achievements - like being published. I don't have any achievements - everyone expected me to do/be all that, but I didn't. I thought I was ok with it but this is kind of stirring some things up for me I guess. I guess that, more than anything else, is what is making me feel uncomfortable. I thought I'd moved beyond trying to impress others, but maybe I haven't.
I totally understand how you feel, and I think that everyone feels inadequate sometimes. I know I frequently do. And although we all know we shouldn't, it's hard not to compare yourself to others and use their merits and achievements to determine whether you measure up as a person. We shouldn't do this, but we do. We are enculturated to do so (IMO).
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My advice would be to work on focusing on QUALITIES, rather than doings or actions. For example, it's really cool that Supermom does xyz, or learned a language to teach her children, or whatever, but you will never measure up to that in your own mind. It's impossible because a) you already haven't done that and b) if you did decide to do that now you'd be copying, and therefore not measure up that way.
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Instead, look at yourself and others (including supermom) for their good qualities. For example, supermom is intellectual. You feel that you could be intellectual to, or that you are already. So go with that: not that she's "more intellectual" than you, but that you are both intellectual. Period, end of thought. Or maybe her learning a language shows that she is really determined. Also, somewhere in your life you are really determined. For me, I'm terrible at a lot of things, but if I want to get better as something I will - I may not know another language (anymore) but dammit, I WILL figure out how to bake bread, even though the past three loaves have all deflated on me! Because I want to know how to do that and I am determined.
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So in this way, I can avoid using Supermom as a measuring tape (even unconsciously) and notice how we are similar (i.e. we are both determined).
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PS this also helps me cognitively feel better because it gives me something to talk about when I'm feeling particularly inadequate around Supermom. So they are discussing learning Spanish so they could teach their kids, and I bring up how I've struggled and succeeded in breadmaking, and how much DS loves to punch the dough. Kind of levels the playing field.
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Sorry so rambly. Hope this makes sense and/or is actually helpful!
