Nightweaning my 22 month old- seeking advice

[GreenGranolaMama]

My son will be 22 months at the end of Feb and I've decided that I would like to night wean. As of now he is still waking up 3 or 4 times each night to nurse...and nurse...and nurse. I'm over being exhausted all the time and would like to try and get more sleep- we're also starting the conversation about trying for number 2, so I would really like to have him night weaned before I am pregnant again. 

So last night was night 1 and here is how it went: 

DH did bedtime with DS at 6:30 (story, sang, talked till he was asleep) DH does not usually sleep with DS and I but does bed time with him on the nights that he is not working (maybe 4 times a week). DH sleeps in the master bedroom for most of the night, I usually start there but end up in DSs room when he wakes up again around 9 or 10. We have a queen sized bed that we co sleep in in DSs room. When I go in when he wakes up I usually nurse him back to sleep and when I put him to bed on nights when DH is not here, I usually nurse him to sleep after reading to him etc..  Having DH sleep with him all night isn't really an option as DH works some overnights and isn't here 3 or 4 nights a week. 

So last night when he woke up at 9 instead of nursing I rubbed his back, offered him water out of his cup and told him "Milk is sleeping, time for Rowan to lay down and sleep" and it was awful- he has a doll but it's not so much a loveie as much as it is a casual acquaintance- so giving him his doll wasn't much help either- he cried, screamed, threw himself on the floor, kicked at me, and pretty much clawed at my face and chest trying to nurse : ( It was awful. I never left him and kept trying to soothe him but it went on like this for close to 45 minutes until he finally fell asleep : (

Is this how night weaning works? DH came in at one point, but I think it made things worse. 

I don't want to wean altogether and wouldn't mind doing a nursing session once before bed and once first thing in the morning- but do you think this might just confuse him? 

Any help would be greatly appreciated- as of right now I am one tired, frustrated Mama who hates hearing her little guy cry : ( 

[D_McG]

Yes it can be hard. I bet he was fine this morning though? It's hard for any of us to be rational in the middle of the night, least of all a 2 year old The good news is it should be over soon. I found it worked best when I was really calm and confident. It's important that they know that you know it's best, IME. You want to make him feel as secure as possible.

[Chamomile Girl]

Yes, that sounds about right. It may be an easier process for all involved for your DH to handle night times until Rowan "gets" that the boobies are not available at night. My LO screamed for a couple of hours the first night (always in someone's arms) but he was MAD! The first night was the worst though. Now he will cry when he wakes up in the night, but getting him back to sleep is sooooooo much easier than when he was still nursing at night. Counter intuitive I know. And he wakes up much less than he used to.

FTR we night weaned him about three weeks ago. In the last three weeks his sleep schedule has changed dramatically. He now only naps once during the day, and usually for only about an hour, and then is ready for bed again by about 5:30. If we get him into bed before he is overtired (this is a toughie because of DH's schedule) than he will sleep great...sometimes all night! Crazy.

Then I will nurse him in the morning before he gets up (usually between 5:50-6:30).

[Surfer Rosa]

I nightweaned both my kids around 15ish months, and they went on to nurse for close to two years (they gave it up on their own).

I followed the Jay Gordon method for nightweaning. I chose a block of time when I wanted to be off limits. I started with 11-6 (If you google this method, you'll get the deets). It was tougher with my daughter (it took maybe closer to a week?) but my son was upset on the first night, a little sad/confused on the second night, and on the third night, after asking and getting "not now" as an answer, went back to sleep. The bonus of this was that both kids started sleeping longer stretches, as there was less incentive to get up. Once they "got it", I simply extended the no nursing time to all night long (would nurse just before bed, then again when we got up in the morning). It helped keep me sane!

Another thing you might try is sleeping in another room for a few nights, and having your husband sleep with your DC.

good luck!

[GreenGranolaMama]

Thanks for the help Mamas : ) So last night was night 3 and it's defiantly getting better, he woke up three times last night but he is defiantly getting back to sleep faster and crying less when compared to the first two nights. I totally don't know why I didn't think of this before- DSs word for hugging/snuggling is loveies so if I say "lets have lovies instead" he snuggles right in and falls back asleep!