Talk me into (or out of) Hello Kitty

[woodchick]

We're not really big on "characters" at our house.  We've got a Dinosaur Train game and a Curious George stuffed monkey, but we don't wear clothes with characters or have backpacks or bags or other items of the sort.  Mostly we just don't like the way that stuff looks, but it also tends to be of poor quality and it can breed a sense of materialism.

My MIL knows that we don't like this stuff, that we don't dress our kids that way and that in general we would prefer her to stick to non-commercialized sorts of gifts.  Most of the time she is good about it.  She doesn't understand, but she hasn't been too bad since the "light up Tinkerbell t-shirt" incident of 2008.  Really, my inlaws are GREAT and supportive and all that. They adore their granddaughters, etc..

This Christmas, however, DD1 received from MIL and FIL, a Hello Kitty hat and glove set, a HK purse and wallet and a package of HK panties. Her Valentine's day card contained two sheets of HK stickers.  My SIL had a Hello Kitty themed 1st birthday party for my niece (overseas, so I'm sure MIL sent supplies before Christmas) and I have a feeling that she just picked up 'extra' for my DD while she was shopping for DN.

Yesterday DD1 declared that she was a "huge fan" of Hello Kitty and that she wanted to wear all her HK stuff to show her friends.

I understand that that is the way of the 4 year old.  We haven't had a princess phase and DD1 has been pretty sheltered from advertising and merchandising, so it hit me hard that she is so attached to this character.  I'm pretty sure, though, that with a little time and separation from the stuff she will move past it.

I'm concerned, however, that MIL will continue to send this stuff along to her.  A steady stream of HK is sure to fan the fires of Kitty love, you know?

I'm curious to hear your opinions of Hello Kitty.  Is it worth getting into it again with my In-laws? (DH would do the talking and it would all be fine. We're all very civil and respectful, though MIL does think I'm a bit crazy)   Is HK really just a harmless little kitten?

In the grand scheme of things this is really not a huge deal.  I am all for family unity and know that 4yos can be like this.... I just die a little every time she dresses herself in these great non-character outfits (usually mismatched!) and then tops it off with a dollar store hat and gloves with huge HKs on them.   I guess that I might be okay with this if it was something that DD1 had chosen for herself or was particularly interested in, but I feel like it is being put upon her by MIL and it rubs me the wrong way.

Thanks for your insight!

[MusicianDad]

We have nothing against Hello Kitty in this house. I think the best part of Hello Kitty, is that she didn't originate as a cartoon character. She started out a brand mark for Sanrio.

[Octopus8]

I don't have anything insightful to say - Just that I love Hello Kitty, and have since I was about your daughter's age.

[lizzie]

Woodchick, I feel your pain in so many ways... and agree with you on so many things! Except I wouldn't necessarily characterize my MIL as "civil". The woman flat out has issues, sadly. But she definitely thinks I'm crazy. I mean, I don't even let dd wear make up or buy her high heels! It's like she's not even a girl! Haha. Really, on both sides of our family, I've fought the fight you're fighting against the whole world of characters all along. I mean, my MIL just sent Valentine's Day cards, one all Tinkerbell and her fairy friends (seriously? I mean, didn't anyone else think Tinkerbell was, to phrase it rather gently, a vindictive little pain in the booty in Peter Pan? Maybe I'm just too harsh! ) and the one she sent DS was Tron. Tron??!! For an eight year old? Ooookay...  I didn't see it, I'm not opposed to it, but I just didn't think it was really marketed for children, so, why a child's card?

Whatever... but the truth is they get SO little of that in their lives. We don't watch many of the popular cartoons and the ones that get by me are more weekly to monthly occurrences vs daily. I don't buy them any character inspired toys or clothes. So when a family member gets brave and sends a Polly Pocket or Hot Wheels, I try to let it slide. Everyone in the family knows where my real battle lines are drawn - issues like modesty both for the kids AND their toys, no point sending any video games, we don't own the consoles, and NO, you cannot buy them the consoles, thank you, among other a few other ideals I try to stick with in our world. They tend to at least respect my bottom line, so I try to work with them in that way. All that having been said....

I Hello Kitty. Have since I was about eight! And turns out she came out about the same year I was born, so geez, it's almost like we're sisters, right??!! JK... but the irony there is that while I love HK, I think my dd just plays along with her to make me happy. Which is so silly - I really try to encourage her to just say no to HK (or what have you) if she's not into her. I certainly would prefer to respect her choices vs watch her try to placate my own inner child, though it's awfully sweet of her to try. At first, dd was all about her.. but then I may have taken that joke a little too far, and now I think I've driven her away from HK.. sigh. *Maybe* your MIL will do the same if allowed to run her course with this?

And then again, if you give your MIL an inch with HK... what might she try to take a mile with later? LOL... :)

[Agatha_Ann]

I try to hold off on characters as long as I can with my kids, but there are places that I am flexible. For example, my 2 year old LOVES football and he recently found a shirt with Blue from Blue's Clues on it kicking a football through the uprights at a consignment shop. He adores it. He's also never seen Blue's Clues in his little life. He just thinks it is the greatest shirt ever because it has not only a puppy on it, but football too! I don't mind this...is Blue's Clues even still on?

I guess I also wouldn't really consider Hello Kitty a character in the same way because HK doesn't have a show or movie (at least not that I know of?) I understand not wanting to totally give in at the risk of MIL buying out the disney store though.

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by Agatha_Ann 

I guess I also wouldn't really consider Hello Kitty a character in the same way because HK doesn't have a show or movie (at least not that I know of?) I understand not wanting to totally give in at the risk of MIL buying out the disney store though.

Actually she has both, and video games too. They just weren't made until after Hello Kitty became a well known mascot for Sanrio.

[mumkimum]

I don't really understand why grandparents of these times are so attached to bombarding kids with character items myself.  (feels like it anyway. . . we get a lot of complaining too)

In our effort to keep character stuff to a minimum, I do allow hello kitty without restriction.  From my perspective - hello kitty isn't about movies/tv shows which makes a big difference (I know there now are hello kitty movies and tv stuff but they're pretty lame and I would never get/watch them - they also aren't a big part of where you find hello kitty out there anyway, it's mostly stickers, clothes, stationary stuff).  She's mainly meant as a cat picture, no different than another neutral cat picture/drawing that isn't a tv/movie character.

[Agatha_Ann]

Originally Posted by MusicianDad 

Actually she has both, and video games too. They just weren't made until after Hello Kitty became a well known mascot for Sanrio.

Whoops! I stand corrected

Ok, so my super fast research says that it no longer airs in the US, so I guess I would still feel the same as I do with our Blue's Clues shirt.
 

[princesstutu]

We love Hello Kitty!  Have since 1976!

I don't do the princess media-hype, but I buy all sorts of HK stuff.  Including the games.

[woodchick]

Thank you all!  I'm actually surprised at the feelings that this issue is bring up for me.  In the long run it is so not a huge deal, but right now it is hitting hard.
 

Originally Posted by MusicianDad 

We have nothing against Hello Kitty in this house. I think the best part of Hello Kitty, is that she didn't originate as a cartoon character. She started out a brand mark for Sanrio.

 I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around celebrating a character whose sole purpose is to sell stuff.  The company Sanrio only exists to sell stuff with Kitty on it, right?  I think I might feel better if DD had a shirt with WordGirl on it instead.  At least she likes the WordGirl show and there is a purpose behind the character. 

Originally Posted by lizzie 

Whatever... but the truth is they get SO little of that in their lives. We don't watch many of the popular cartoons and the ones that get by me are more weekly to monthly occurrences vs daily. I don't buy them any character inspired toys or clothes. So when a family member gets brave and sends a Polly Pocket or Hot Wheels, I try to let it slide. Everyone in the family knows where my real battle lines are drawn - issues like modesty both for the kids AND their toys, no point sending any video games, we don't own the consoles, and NO, you cannot buy them the consoles, thank you, among other a few other ideals I try to stick with in our world. They tend to at least respect my bottom line, so I try to work with them in that way. All that having been said....

I totally agree with you in regards to choosing your battles!  I really do value our family over this issue, I'm just trying to work things out in my own mind.  I actually would prefer something like Polly Pocket or Hot Wheels. I can see the value in playing with them and they exist for a 'reason' (to play with).  The Hello Kitty stuff that we have only has one purpose, to tell the world that we have purchased something from Sanrio.  All of the HK stuff we have could easily be replaced with non-branded items of equal or greater quality.

I don't deny that Hello Kitty is cute, but I'm struggling with the idea that 'cute' is a good reason to buy these items.  DD has already started noticing other HK stuff in stores and is trying to get me to buy it. Not because she needs the socks/hat/watch/sneakers, whatever, but solely because they have Hello Kitty on them.  We are striving to declutter and simplify our lives and to live frugally (4 people, 1 income, 850sqft home) and this mindset is totally against that.

And not to go off on a tangent, but I hear so much about "how awful it is that kids are being advertised to so much these days" and "let's let kids be kids" and "kids these days don't have any idea how to wisely manage their money", but at the same time people in my children's lives are constantly playing into the hype. They want to take them to big movies and buy them branded merchandise and set them up for character addiction by playing up how cute it is. 

I do really appreciate hearing from you all who don't have a problem with HK! I really don't think she's evil or anything, really!  I'd actually like to hear more about why you love her, I think I am missing the gene that allow me to 'get it' :)

[2xy]

"Cute" is not a good reason to buy a shirt or pencil box if you are not in need of a shirt or pencil box. But if you ARE in need of a shirt, most people would pick one that is visually attractive to them. I think you need to decide whether you are against Hello Kitty, against clutter, or both.

I will be honest and say that I do not share the extreme anti-character sentiments of many here on MDC, but neither did we buy excessive character things when my boys were little. DS2 was into Spiderman for a couple of years, and that's the extent of it. My kids are now 19 and 15 and do not wear Spiderman shirts. DS2 does have a Domo wallet and a Domo t-shirt, but overall does not have a Domo fixation. He just likes comic books, Anime and Manga, and Japanese pop-culture, and Domo sort of symbolizes that for him.

As for being materialistic or object-obsessed, I do know a couple of "natural-minded" mamas who have to have a new phone as soon as a new model comes out, and can't go five minutes without fiddling with it. Guess what item their LOs obsess over? Mama's cell phone. I think that if things are viewed with moderation, whether it be a cell phone or a Hello Kitty shirt, then kids will generally follow suit. That's been my experience, anyway. Telling a child they can't have something for reasons that are not understandable/important to the child only makes the child desire it even more.
 

Originally Posted by woodchick 

I don't deny that Hello Kitty is cute, but I'm struggling with the idea that 'cute' is a good reason to buy these items.  DD has already started noticing other HK stuff in stores and is trying to get me to buy it. Not because she needs the socks/hat/watch/sneakers, whatever, but solely because they have Hello Kitty on them.  We are striving to declutter and simplify our lives and to live frugally (4 people, 1 income, 850sqft home) and this mindset is totally against that.

[shayinme]

Having just read Peggy Orenstein's Cinderella Ate my Daughter and having a 5 year old daughter myself, frankly I have no issues with Hello Kitty compared to say the Disney Princesses. Hello Kitty came out when I was a kid and I remember having a HK phase and it was just that. Unlike my feelings about the princess stuff which IMO feels like it does constantly promote consumption and grows in time. If you read her book what I am saying will probably make sense. Ultimately every item on some level is about consumption, I mean at Christmas time we catalogs from places like Magic Cabin, Nova Naturals, etc and at the end of the day they want us to buy as well. I have seen this in my own house, we started out with the small wooden kitchen and then it grew from there, no its not branded but still there are items that go with it.

Now that my daughter is in school (I also have a 19 yo son, so I have dealt with the issue of characters for a long time) I say pick and choose your battles. I know that since my girl started school her knowledge about things has increased, I am constantly explaining why she can't have XYZ, or watch this show or that. Its all about picking and choosing. Right now I would be thrilled if my kid was just into HK.

[BroodyWoodsgal]

Woodchick, I get it. I happen to have a family around me (on both sides) which have the exact same values as I do and none of us has cable TV, loads of plastic toys or anything like that. That makes a huge difference.

I'm not "anti-characters" just because I don't like the princess thing, the TV thing, the "my DD emulating TV personalities" thing or the "worshiping Hanna Montana or other stars" thing...I don't like the "turning kids into consumers" thing, either. HK is one of the most recognizable brands in the world. Everybody knows HK. You don't just get a HK shirt, you get a shirt, love it and then see the backpack...gloves, hate, doll, and on and on. The point of HK is to sell you stuff and more stuff and then, when you grow out of that stuff, MORE stuff. It's not about having a precious thing that you cherish...it's about, buy this and then look forward to buying the next piece in the line....DON'T YOU JUST WANNA HAVE IT ALLLLL! I never did this as a kid, but so many of the girls I knew did. It wasn't one Barbie...it was seveteen Barbies, a Special addition Holiday Barbie every year, the corvette, the jeep, the Dream House....they had to keep collecting and collecting on and on and on. Something new was always coming out to add to your set and you had to have it. AAGHHH!

Because of my intense disdain for the rampant disease of consumerism which has come to be the norm in the last generations, I do not buy clothing new. I shop at consignment boutiques. We have REALLY great ones in my area and I spend a FRACTION of what a lot of people I know spend on clothes and the best part of all, is that the shops we go to happen to be run by extremely crunchy type ladies and so there are NO faces, princess themed stuff or clothing of poor quality. Everything is in like-new condition and everything is Disney, TV character, etc FREE. So, my DD can look with me without my being paranoid about her falling in love with something I'm going to hate. I WANT her to pick her own clothing, I WANT her to be interested in colors, to pick patterns she likes and to get used to finding things that make her feel good. It's just much nicer to do that and let her have free choice in a place where I won't be forced into buying something I morally against. One boutique in particular is really my favorite...because half of the boutique is new stuff...but ALL ethically manufactured with "green" materials, organic cotton, fair trade, etc. So if I need to shop for a baby shower, or if I want to buy something new...I can do it and still feel good about it.

Where is Hello Kitty made?

WHO makes it?

WHAT is it made out of?

These are all the kinds of questions you have to ask yourself and if you dig for the answers, you'll puke in your lap. I get that HK is an iconic image, everyone knows what it is and I guess it's cute....but what's not cute (to me) is putting her on absolutely EVERYTHING for the sole purpose of getting people hooked and buying more and more....and having the profitability of this business model dependent upon cheap (nearly slave) labor.

.

Sorry for the ramble. I get it. I wouldn't have a problem telling MIL to knock it off. I don't want my kid to be a walking billboard, selling this high-consumerism to other kids by shoving the image in their face all the time. I don't want to send my money to some slave labor loving company in China or wherever...I want to support local business people who are reselling things that used to be sitting in boxes in peoples attics.

I don't want the blood, sweat and tears of the workers who live in squalor to make HK "gear" profitable for the mega corporations all over my childrens bodies. It makes me sick to imagine it.

P.S.: I'm looking and looking for a link to the article or paper that came out a few years ago talking about how the children (as young as 12-14!) who make Hello Kitty(winnie the pooh, too) and other brands *actually* live. There was an expose of sorts after one of these factories (ToyCity in China?) was investigated. These kids were found to be working 30 days a month for 12-16 hours a day. They work in the same room they sleep in. They work until they can't anymore, then they pass out on their bunk, then they wake up and work again. The conditions were absolutely terrible. The fumes and solvents, etc that these kids were living in (breathing ALL day, EVERYDAY and had all over their bodies) were making them so sick. They were desperate for the wages, so a lot of them lied about how old they were to get in and work there....the wages were so low, so so low. These kids were found to be working for nearly nothing in conditions so bad that I couldn't finish reading the article. I just stopped, closed out of it and said a silent prayer. I can't find the link right now, but I will keep looking because I think it's important for people to understand where this crap comes from. I think it's important to realize that when you send your money to whatever company sells this HK stuff, you are sending your money to people who enslave other people...men women and children alike. You are paying, to enslave children. That's what you're doing. By keeping this wheel of consumerism turning, we are keeping (in some cases, the better part of whole nations of) people enslaved. This has to stop.

You buy that shirt new and it's all clean and perfect....but never, ever forget, the little hands that touched it before you put it on your child. Some other kid, living in a room with mattresses from floor to ceiling, surrounded by other kids who should be playing and eating good foods, was holding that piece of fabric, making it into a Hello Kitty shirt. His little fingers turned it around and around, his little breath probably got on it...his little boy energy went into making that, not into playing with ships in the river or flying a kite. Then, it traveled across an ocean to a store near you...where you bought it...and then took it home and put it on your child. That other kids hands are touching your baby's little body. It's gross. It's gross to put something like that on our kids. It's gross to put the energy of that inequality and despair all over our kids. We should stop.

[woodchick]

Originally Posted by 2xy 

"Cute" is not a good reason to buy a shirt or pencil box if you are not in need of a shirt or pencil box. But if you ARE in need of a shirt, most people would pick one that is visually attractive to them. I think you need to decide whether you are against Hello Kitty, against clutter, or both.

I will be honest and say that I do not share the extreme anti-character sentiments of many here on MDC, but neither did we buy excessive character things when my boys were little. DS2 was into Spiderman for a couple of years, and that's the extent of it. My kids are now 19 and 15 and do not wear Spiderman shirts. DS2 does have a Domo wallet and a Domo t-shirt, but overall does not have a Domo fixation. He just likes comic books, Anime and Manga, and Japanese pop-culture, and Domo sort of symbolizes that for him.

As for being materialistic or object-obsessed, I do know a couple of "natural-minded" mamas who have to have a new phone as soon as a new model comes out, and can't go five minutes without fiddling with it. Guess what item their LOs obsess over? Mama's cell phone. I think that if things are viewed with moderation, whether it be a cell phone or a Hello Kitty shirt, then kids will generally follow suit. That's been my experience, anyway. Telling a child they can't have something for reasons that are not understandable/important to the child only makes the child desire it even more.
 

I totally agree with you!  And that's why the HK stuff is still in our house and we thanked Grandma for it :)  I've turned down buying things at the store for the same reasons we always do, not because she 'can't have HK'.  I haven't said boo to her about it. I personally don't like or dislike HK, but I'm mostly against consumerism for consumerism's sake.

I mean, the kid is 4! It is not like she has a deep love of HK and wants to show it to the world.  She's had it foisted on her. I do think that if left on its own that it will blow over.  In my OP I mentioned that I'm worried that Grandma will keep fanning the flames by sending more.

To add to the issue, I think I'm also dealing with struggles from my own life regarding gift giving.  I have a long (and sad) history of receiving gifts that were given with no thought of the recipient or were grossly unfair (one year I got a science fiction book from the uncle who took my brother skiing for the weekend.  I also ski, and didn't read scifi).  So I know that this is playing into it.  MIL knows our preferences and she knows what DD truly likes, so why go crazy with something like this?

[woodchick]

Originally Posted by shayinme 

Having just read Peggy Orenstein's Cinderella Ate my Daughter and having a 5 year old daughter myself, frankly I have no issues with Hello Kitty compared to say the Disney Princesses. Hello Kitty came out when I was a kid and I remember having a HK phase and it was just that. Unlike my feelings about the princess stuff which IMO feels like it does constantly promote consumption and grows in time. If you read her book what I am saying will probably make sense. Ultimately every item on some level is about consumption, I mean at Christmas time we catalogs from places like Magic Cabin, Nova Naturals, etc and at the end of the day they want us to buy as well. I have seen this in my own house, we started out with the small wooden kitchen and then it grew from there, no its not branded but still there are items that go with it.

Now that my daughter is in school (I also have a 19 yo son, so I have dealt with the issue of characters for a long time) I say pick and choose your battles. I know that since my girl started school her knowledge about things has increased, I am constantly explaining why she can't have XYZ, or watch this show or that. Its all about picking and choosing. Right now I would be thrilled if my kid was just into HK.

But, again, sure those toy companies want you to buy their things, but they are actually selling 'usable' goods.  There's always a new 'set' or something, but the kitchen (wooden or otherwise) is a valuable learning tool. The add ons make for more interesting play.  Wanting/needing to get a new Hello Kitty pencil set because it matches your Hello Kitty stretchy gloves just seems so much different to me.

[woodchick]

AverysMomma, I think I love you :)

[khhh]

I love Hello Kitty.

BUT I'm like you... not into the cartoon clothes... in fact, I would venture to say that I despise them and wouldn't be caught dead with my kids in them!

But a scarf and gloves... stickers... all removable and small. It's ok!! Breathe :)

[lizzie]

Originally Posted by woodchick 

I totally agree with you in regards to choosing your battles!  I really do value our family over this issue, I'm just trying to work things out in my own mind.  I actually would prefer something like Polly Pocket or Hot Wheels. I can see the value in playing with them and they exist for a 'reason' (to play with).  The Hello Kitty stuff that we have only has one purpose, to tell the world that we have purchased something from Sanrio.  All of the HK stuff we have could easily be replaced with non-branded items of equal or greater quality.

I don't deny that Hello Kitty is cute, but I'm struggling with the idea that 'cute' is a good reason to buy these items.  DD has already started noticing other HK stuff in stores and is trying to get me to buy it. Not because she needs the socks/hat/watch/sneakers, whatever, but solely because they have Hello Kitty on them.  We are striving to declutter and simplify our lives and to live frugally (4 people, 1 income, 850sqft home) and this mindset is totally against that.

And not to go off on a tangent, but I hear so much about "how awful it is that kids are being advertised to so much these days" and "let's let kids be kids" and "kids these days don't have any idea how to wisely manage their money", but at the same time people in my children's lives are constantly playing into the hype. They want to take them to big movies and buy them branded merchandise and set them up for character addiction by playing up how cute it is. 

I do really appreciate hearing from you all who don't have a problem with HK! I really don't think she's evil or anything, really!  I'd actually like to hear more about why you love her, I think I am missing the gene that allow me to 'get it' :)

You know, you make an excellent point with the idea that HK isn't necessarily having a purpose beyond being cute for *so many* of her products,and I agree completely with making the kids think about why they're wanting to buy something, where it will go in their room, what purchasing this item vs that item will mean for their allowances or the families finances. All things I wish I'd thought about more when mine were younger! :) The first thing I got for dd that was HK was a little playhouse (like smaller than a shoe box) with her family members and some furniture, so it actually engaged dd in imaginative play and was small and easy to take with us for some trips where she would need a source of entertainment - so HK does have some things, somewhere, that are more play oriented rather than clutter inspiring. I had some really cute stationery & markers too when I was a kid... :D

Only to say that IF you decide to allow HK - or whomever - maybe letting your MIL know that if she just has to get some kind of character thing, you'd prefer it was something your dd could use, rather than something turned dd into a billboard? Though I guess those can overlap too.

Never got the idea that you thought HK was evil though! LOL.. Idk... I have no idea why I've liked her so much for so long. The books and videos she has are just asinine for most part...  It was a birthday gift when I was about 8 that got me into her, the stationery I mentioned. But then I got older and found I love nearly all things related to Japanese stationery, so perhaps it was the style that appealed to me and I just assumed it was HK for all those years since no one was making me think about why I wanted to spend my money! :)
 

[lizzie]

Originally Posted by AverysMomma 

P.S.: I'm looking and looking for a link to the article or paper that came out a few years ago talking about how the children (as young as 12-14!) who make Hello Kitty(winnie the pooh, too) and other brands *actually* live. There was an expose of sorts after one of these factories (ToyCity in China?) was investigated. These kids were found to be working 30 days a month for 12-16 hours a day. They work in the same room they sleep in. They work until they can't anymore, then they pass out on their bunk, then they wake up and work again. The conditions were absolutely terrible. The fumes and solvents, etc that these kids were living in (breathing ALL day, EVERYDAY and had all over their bodies) were making them so sick. They were desperate for the wages, so a lot of them lied about how old they were to get in and work there....the wages were so low, so so low. These kids were found to be working for nearly nothing in conditions so bad that I couldn't finish reading the article. I just stopped, closed out of it and said a silent prayer. I can't find the link right now, but I will keep looking because I think it's important for people to understand where this crap comes from. I think it's important to realize that when you send your money to whatever company sells this HK stuff, you are sending your money to people who enslave other people...men women and children alike. You are paying, to enslave children. That's what you're doing. By keeping this wheel of consumerism turning, we are keeping (in some cases, the better part of whole nations of) people enslaved. This has to stop.

You buy that shirt new and it's all clean and perfect....but never, ever forget, the little hands that touched it before you put it on your child. Some other kid, living in a room with mattresses from floor to ceiling, surrounded by other kids who should be playing and eating good foods, was holding that piece of fabric, making it into a Hello Kitty shirt. His little fingers turned it around and around, his little breath probably got on it...his little boy energy went into making that, not into playing with ships in the river or flying a kite. Then, it traveled across an ocean to a store near you...where you bought it...and then took it home and put it on your child. That other kids hands are touching your baby's little body. It's gross. It's gross to put something like that on our kids. It's gross to put the energy of that inequality and despair all over our kids. We should stop.

Wow. Please do post that if you find it! I appreciate you all making me think more about this. I'll drop her cute fake fuzziness like a hot rock!

And we should think more this stuff - I should be explaining things like that to my children, helping them learn more responsible consumerism. Better start doing some digging on my own.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by 2xy 

I will be honest and say that I do not share the extreme anti-character sentiments of many here on MDC, but neither did we buy excessive character things when my boys were little.

....

Telling a child they can't have something for reasons that are not understandable/important to the child only makes the child desire it even more.
 

We have so much in common!  I didn't buy my kids character stuff when they were little, and we managed to keep some those things secret from our kids for a long time. However, once they were school aged, it went out the window. And we were homeschoolers!  They got interested in things because other kids were interested in things, and I didn't see the point of the power struggle.

It's very reasonable to tell a child "no, you aren't getting a new hat today because you don't need one." It's quite another to be buying a child a hat and refuse to buy they one they like because it has a design on it they like but stands for something else *to you.*  I think that's just a power thing.

My kids are now 12 and 14, and they don't care about stickers at all anymore, no matter what is on them.

As far as it coming from grandma rather than peers, I can see why it bothers you, but she would have found out about hello kitty eventually, and she still would have liked her.  Hello Kitty is very likable!

<<I just die a little every time she dresses herself in these great non-character outfits (usually mismatched!) and then tops it off with a dollar store hat and gloves with huge HKs on them.  >>

I think that's about you, not her. She's happy and having fun, and she feels very loved. It may be that part of the reason she likes the stuff so much is it is from Grandma, and Grandma/Grandchild relationship is a special thing. She's a blessed little child to have so many people in her life that love her and want to make her happy.