Not sure if this should go here or gentle discipline...
Yesterday at the store, my 13 month old was crying and standing in the basket of the cart, trying to get out of the cart, and throwing things over the side...being a typical one year old imo. My response was to keep things away from her that she would hurt by throwing, and when she would throw something I'd tell her something like "I don't like that, no throwing please" or if she'd stand up I'd say "Sit down please, you'll get an ouchie" stuff like that. She was also feeling a little sick, and needed a nap. So I was surprised how WELL she was behaving, and feeling guilty for bringing her in the store.
Then my mother threatened her "You need to sit down and be good or grammy will slap you". I replied "You wouldn't really do that would you??" And she said "Of course not, but if she get's scared of threats, you'll never have to actually slap her!"
I didn't reply except to give her an incredulous look and try to steer towards the exit. A little after that she also called her a bad girl (for throwing her glasses out of the cart), and I said "We DO NOT say bad girl, she is NOT bad!" and she just dismissed me as trying to make her seem like a bad guy :( She does things like this alot. She is always telling her no, and I tell her that she needs to stop. She says "well she needs to learn the word NO!" Which I reply "She does know the word NO, we just don't use it!"
Rosy is VERY headstrong and quite a little character, and my mom says things like "Well you were the perfect baby-never cried or tantrumed, always sweet and still, where did all her orneryness come from? and says alot about how strong-willed she is, how she's like a little tomboy (she's pretty rough and tumble and daring)...almost like she blames me for giving her a baby that wasn't quiet and sat still!!
My mom actually loves Rosy to pieces, she is quite loving, but at the same time, her upbringing combined with her bi-polar disease makes her say and do things that seems like she's always trying to put me down to build herself up, and if ever called on anything, IMMEDIATELY goes to the oh poor me attitude where she hates herself and everyone hates her. So I can't talk to her about this. Just need some support