Anger and frustration over vegetable refusal in 5 y/o - Page 2

[velochic]

I think you need to read that article again.  It makes them "sound" healthy, but has things in there like "potatoes are mounds of carbohydrates and little protein, so they're great for kids who need to gain weight" (which statistically not the majority) and the fact that the fiber exists in them in the raw state and not the cooked state (who eats raw potatoes regularly?) and that too much cause digestion *problems*, that they aid in digestion only in small quantities.  They're also not good in a society that is exponentially increasing their childhood Type-2 diabetes diagnoses because of their carb content.  I'm sorry, you can't convince me that potatoes are all that healthy.  Their real benefit is vitamin C, which can be found a million other places and in much greater concentrations.  You'd have to many more calories in potatoes to get the same vitamin C you get in a small, 80 calorie orange.  In small amounts, like anything, they're fine, but nutritionally, they should be considered a starch, not a vegetable.  (And this is not JMO, this is something that dh's dietitian says.)

[lonegirl]

When I am dieting, I agree, I consider them a starch and limit them.  But they are still quite healthy.

http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=48 

[JessJoy]

Sounds like Sensory Integration Disorder.

My friend's son is the same way. Would only eat ketchup sandwiches at age 7. He's had to go to therapy where they do stuff like squirt a bottle of lotion on a desk and ask him to touch it.

Also, I currently have a friend who is dating a 40 year old man with this issue. He can only eat about 6 things and it has REALLY hampered his life. He is a prominent professor of law and simple things like dinner meetings wreak havok on him because he has to hide his disorder. Therapy has not helped him because he let it go so long.

You will lose the rage once you are able to say, "He has a disorder". I used to get enraged at a particularly quirky child untiI I realized that he had undiagnosed Asbergers.

Also, try cranium sacral therapy.

[Dandelionkid]

Is he a supertaster?

http://supertastertest.com/

You don't need to purchase the kit- just use some sweet n low in a cup with some water- if it is bitter instead of sweet then he is a supertaster.

[LynnS6]

Originally Posted by Dandelionkid 

Is he a supertaster?

http://supertastertest.com/

You don't need to purchase the kit- just use some sweet n low in a cup with some water- if it is bitter instead of sweet then he is a supertaster.

Wow! NOW I understand why I can't use artificial sweeteners.

[Dandelionkid]

Originally Posted by LynnS6 

Wow! NOW I understand why I can't use artificial sweeteners.

Do you also have problems with veggies? My friends husband is meat and potatoes man and can't stand veggies and the sweet n low test was so bitter to him he almost gagged.

[kristandthekids]

First off, toss out the ketchup. It's just tomatoes and sugar. If he's a kid who needs "dip" to eat things you can try hummus or cream cheese or such.

From day one I always told my kids: This is supper. You are welcome to eat it. If after 1 bite you don't like it, but don't have to eat it. But this is supper.
Very calm. No yelling. Eat or don't eat. If they're hungry, they'll eat. And if they don't, no child ever starved to death by missing 1 supper.

Now I have kids who will grab raw veggies out of the fridge for themselves at snack time. I can't use artificial sweeteners but I still love veggies.



I do add extra servings of veggies to the diet through Vruit, green smoothies, sauces, ect.
Maybe you can have him help you make a green smoothie? Fruit heavy at first and work your way up. Maybe helping make it will make him more eager to try it.

[mamazee]

If he'll have apples, and spaghetti with sauce, I'd try to push that stuff frequently and let up on it overall.  Kids' taste buds relax as they get older.  I was a ridiculously picky eater - my mom took me to the doctor because I only ate PB&J for ages and ages for every single meal - and I eat tons of stuff now.

[MrsBone]

No good advice just a big ol hug. I can't imagine! I second hiding the veggies in stuff, though. I always hated that idea because then you never really know if your kid will actually like squash if you puree it and hide it, but at least he's getting the vitamins and minerals he needs. Will he eat soup? I'm a TF foodie too, and I try and make sure I get some bone broth into my kiddo.. it's full of vitamins and minerals, that can also be found in veggies. I also try to make each snack, and meal as nutritionally dense as possible. It's hard. Do you have a good blender? you could make him a fruit smoothe and hide some spinach or kale in there(you can't even taste it, especially if you disguise the smoothie with blueberries..then it's blue in color, not green). We just got a blendtec, and  my son ate a smoothie with peaches, orange, banana, and spinach and you couldn't taste even a hint of vegetable. might be worth a shot! Does he drink milk? Since you're into TF I'm sure you know the benefits of raw milk. That might help fill in the gaps that he's missing from veggies.

[MrsBone]

Oh, I also wanted to say, my friend has a picky 3 1/2 year old and she makes him "green spaghetti" She purees cooked broccoli and basil together mixed with some parmesan and oil and(like a broccoli pesto) and her kid devours it because it's different. You could even call it like monster guts or something. He might get a kick out of that.

[asraidevin]

I have a picky eater, she's 8, always been slight, no food allergies. We used to be able to tell her it was chicken and she'd gobble it up. I miss that. She eats a lot of cereal, but at least once-twice a day she has to have fruit or veggie. She doesn't like melted cheese (except pizza). It took my weeks to get her to try yogurt. She doesn't do ketchup or dressing. She's never sick either so I don't know what to think of that.

I lived on milk as a kid, until I ended up lactose intolerant around eight. Took me 25 years to tolerate green peppers and I will hate onions forever and egg yolks.

I always have something she will eat- mixed in or on it's own. Whatever it is, she can at least have that. I know she isn't starving. For you I'd do rice on the side or a scrambled egg or whatever. If you have to make veggie tomato sauce everyday, so be it. It's not the healthiest thing, but it will get you through until he expands.

While everyone else is enjoying the rest talk about how good your grown-up food is and we'd put a bit on her plate and tell her we couldn't give her more because we'd have less on of the good food. (Bonus, if it doesn't get eaten- very little waste).

[ShadowMom]

I'll proffer that the problem you're having is not that your child won't eat vegetables.  It's that you have a lot of emotional investment in controlling of the actions of another person.

I think your frustration and emotional reaction to the situation (which are completely understandable) aren't allowing you to reach a place where you're in tune with him any longer. 

An ideological change may be in order. 

Controlling the content, portion sizes, times, opportunities for eating has become a huge factor in our culture.  Unfortunately, children want some control over their lives as well.

I do highly recommend the book "How to get your child to eat, but not too much"... despite the horrible and somewhat disturbing title, it's really a great book.  I think she came up with the "you decide what and when, and your child decides which and how much" system (hopefully I said that correctly).

Here's what is interesting about your post.  You acknowledge that you can't force your child to eat vegetables.  BUT, it does sound like you'd do so if you had the choice.  :)  Is that really a value you have as a parent, or is your frustration pushing you to the point where you aren't acting according to your guiding values anymore? 

I'm no expert on these matters or any others.  But if you're asking for advice, here's mine.  Acknowledge to yourself that YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHAT YOUR CHILD EATS.  And that is ok!  All you have to do is make sure he has lots of choices available to him (which you probably do already, because most any normal household that values eating healthy foods has lots of those options).  It's up to him to decide if he's going to eat, how much, and which of those choices he will make.  And he's not going to make the choices you want him to, in this or most anything else in life.  :)

I hope this helps, mama.  Good luck with whatever you choose to do. 

[Annie Mac]

Originally Posted by hakeber 

Oh yeah...I once made carrot ginger soup and I told him it was Monkey blood stew and he ate three bowls, and he asks for it all the time!  I have to get his dad to take him to the park so he doesn't see me peeling the carrots. 

I laughed at this, especially in tandem with your sig that says you're a veg*n family. I had a vision of your son as an adult, saying that he was raised vegetarian, except for that monkey blood stew!

[hakeber]

 Actually it's just me that's a vegetarian in the family, though DS is starting to wonder why I don't eat chicken, fish, steak bacon, etc, drawing such conclusions as "women don't eat meat."  I explained to him that some women do eat meat, just not mommy and why, but he's still not quite got it clear. lately he has said he is thinking about not eating cows or chickens anymore, but he's still a bit iffy about giving up moneky blood stew and crocodile eggs...those are pretty tasty.

I am not sure when it will be safe to come clean.

Originally Posted by Annie Mac 

I laughed at this, especially in tandem with your sig that says you're a veg*n family. I had a vision of your son as an adult, saying that he was raised vegetarian, except for that monkey blood stew!