Need nightime help or just moral support

[Reha]

Hi all,

This is my fist time posting in the EC forum here.  :)

I have a 19 month old, we've been EC'ing since the beginning.  We also EC'ed with my older son, and it has been interesting to see how different it has gone each time!

My older son was pretty reliably dry at night by around 14 or 15 months, with no need to potty through the night.  My 19 month old...not so much.

What we have been doing is nursing to sleep, then around midnight or so, he usually wakes up to nurse then pee (must be in the order, or he gets very mad).  If he pees at this time, he usually will not need to pee again until 7 or 8 am.  But, here is where I need help.  Lately, he has been getting very upset when I offer him the potty at his usual midnight nursing.  Refuses and cries.  I know he needs to pee, but I don't fight him.  Just lay him down.  Usually, he wakes about 2 hours later to nurse again, and I offer the potty again.  Still refuses, crying.  I sometimes think that maybe he just wants to wait until the morning, but then, usually around 2am, just after crying and getting mad about me offering the potty, often within minutes of laying him back down, he pees a TON!  It is frustrating, I am really tired of having to deal with the wetness.  I usually lay him to sleep over a waterproof pad with a diaper on top, but his bladder is large, and invariably, some spills on to the sheets.

I've tried actually getting UP to take him to the toilet to pee, thinking maybe that is what he wants.  Oh, no.  That is not what he wants at all. 

Last night, after much restless sleep (on my part...I tend to not sleep well when I know he needs to pee, as I am on guard for him to start peeing in bed), I finally put an AIO on him.  I haven't put a diaper on him at night in over a year!  We stopped using diapers at night around 3 months old. 

Low and behold, it was dry when he woke up this morning and I took him to the toilet, he peed just fine.

I am trying to remain patient and remind myself that before I know it, I won't have to take him potty at night.  I just wish that he would stop refusing the potty and peeing in bed!  We have actually had a run of nights in a row where he didn't pee at all, and I began to think we were done with nighttime pottying, so I'd stop offering.  Of course, as soon as I stopped offering, he peed in bed. 

Anyone BTDT and have some moral support to offer?

Ideas at all?

[isabchi]

Couples questions for you,

Did you potty him at night in the bathroom or in your bedroom?. Maybe, he doesn't like to feel the cold potty or walking on the cold floor.

Can you talk about the order for nursing and potty before he goes to sleep?.

Anyway, around that ages my two ECed children have many few misses at night, I place the waterproof pads that I used in the early months, and also they sleep over a large towel. My youngest is been sleeping without diapers from very early on. By the way, after a few weeks they both get better and graduate it.

[Reha]

We potty in the bed, using a potty that I have at the foo of the bed.  I hold it between my legs on the bed and he pees.  I usually try to cover the cold plastic with a prefold or something, so it isn't cold for him.

Sometimes before laying down to bed he pees, but he doesn't always want/need to.  So, he usually just nurses to sleep, and later will wake up, nurses again, and then pees (well, he had been...now it feels so random)

[Carlyle]

This too shall pass!!  But yeah, that sucks.  The only two ideas I have are:
 

Originally Posted by Reha 

Lately, he has been getting very upset when I offer him the potty at his usual midnight nursing.  Refuses and cries.  I know he needs to pee, but I don't fight him.  Just lay him down.  Usually, he wakes about 2 hours later to nurse again, and I offer the potty again.  Still refuses, crying.  I sometimes think that maybe he just wants to wait until the morning, but then, usually around 2am, just after crying and getting mad about me offering the potty, often within minutes of laying him back down, he pees a TON!

What happens if you wait until 2am to offer the potty at all? My dd1 used to refuse to potty even when she needed to if I had already offered too much.  She is full of autonomy and will (to put it mildly), and if it wasn't her idea she'd rebel...
 

Originally Posted by Reha 

Low and behold, it was dry when he woke up this morning and I took him to the toilet, he peed just fine.

I am trying to remain patient and remind myself that before I know it, I won't have to take him potty at night.  I just wish that he would stop refusing the potty and peeing in bed!  We have actually had a run of nights in a row where he didn't pee at all, and I began to think we were done with nighttime pottying, so I'd stop offering.  Of course, as soon as I stopped offering, he peed in bed.

Can you just diaper him at night and offer the potty only if he kicks up a real fuss and won't nurse or fall back to sleep?  Put a finger in his diaper each time he wakes up (while you nurse and while he falls back to sleep) so that you can tell if he's peeing, and when he does, make the cue sound and then change him saying "oops, that's okay, you try to get it in the potty again next time"?  This also puts the ball in his court to initiate things and makes sure you aren't offering at times that piss him off.  (Speaking from lots of experience with my dd1...who gets pissed off if it's not her idea)

Maybe nursing OVER the potty bowl in bed would help (worked with my dd1 for a while)?

Good luck!

[Carlyle]

Originally Posted by Reha 

I am trying to remain patient and remind myself that before I know it, I won't have to take him potty at night.  I just wish that he would stop refusing the potty and peeing in bed!  We have actually had a run of nights in a row where he didn't pee at all, and I began to think we were done with nighttime pottying, so I'd stop offering.  Of course, as soon as I stopped offering, he peed in bed.

One last thought is that perhaps having the diaper on reminds him not to pee?

[HappyMonkey]

I've noticed my daughter.. almost 14 months old... will almost always hold it if she's in a diaper. I can be out for hours, and she'll pee/poo within 5 minutes of getting home. So a diaper at night might just be the answer if it acts as a reminder to stay dry.

My daughter recently went through the same thing.. absolute refusal to go in the toilet at night. I just let her pee on a prefold over a waterproof pad for a few weeks, then started with the bathroom again. I hold her semi reclining so she stays almost asleep and point her over the bathtub. It worked!

I do see the pattern too if she has to go she's super restless while sleeping until she does.. which also keeps me from sleeping.

[Reha]

Thanks everyone!

Your responses were helpful!