I'm starting to consider CIO. I just don't know how else to get through this!!!

[LDSmomma]

DS transitioned from the family bed to his own bed in his room a few months ago.  DH or I would get in bed with him until he was asleep, and he'd sleep for several hours, then come into our bed.  This worked great for us.  Then, that several hour stretch got shorter and shorter.  Then he got sick, and while sick slept so lightly that we couldn't leave without waking him, so we just put him back in our bed until he got better.  Now, that several hour stretch only lasts an hour.  Also since he got sick, he won't let DH put him to bed.  He screams for up to an hour until I finally come in, or we switch to our bed.  

When I ask any friends about this, they all suggest cio, but none of them have a stubborn guy like I do.  Their babies all went to bed easily, and DS just isn't an easy kid about anything.  I'm really discouraged, and DH and I want some time to ourselves!!

[hakeber]

At the age of 2, can't you discuss it with him a little? 

Soothing routine, stories, song, maybe a soother?  A cuddlely toy.  My son REALLY started needing his stuffed animals at that age and I nursed him to drowsy then brushed his teeth and had a bottle of lukewarm water to suckle himself to sleep while we read stories and sang lullabyes.

We did a warm bath with a lavender lotion rub down, warm jammies, soft lights, soft music while nursing,  brush teeth, a long chapter book with limited pictures until he just passed out, with a bottle of water and a cuddly toy or three.

It usually took about two hours total, but the story (we read Sinbad's adventures to him) wiped him out.  Occassionally he would choose a song marathon over the book, but we'd agree before hand how many songs, and then we'd talk about it:

Mommy and daddy need some quiet time.  Or Mommy has to do some work for her students.  Or Mommy needs to get some sleep because I'm ever so tired.   Then we'd settle on six songs and I'd give him seven for good measure and then forlorn he'd let me go.

I'd always say:  I'll come check on you in five minutes to see if you need anything, then ten minutes, then half an hour then an hour.

I'd say if you aren't there yet, you will be soon, inside of six months.

The cuddly toys and the bottle of water nearby is what helped him resoothe in the night time.

Maybe an electric blanket would help him feel warm and safe?

[LDSmomma]

Wow, DS is so not that verbal yet.  Hopefully soon, though.  I'm trying to work on getting him to love a stuffed animal, and he always chooses the same one at bedtime, but after about 2 minutes, he says all done and gives it back to me.  Maybe I should have it with us while nursing throughout the day.  I haven't tried that yet.  

DS gets very excited during bath time, so it's not good for our nighttime routine, but we have soft music, low lighting, brush teeth, read stories, etc.

Magically today, after 2 weeks of TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TWOS, he's been a perfect example of terriffic twos.  So, maybe it was just related to being sick and we're back to normal now.  DH is putting him to bed right now, and he's not screaming, so my fingers are crossed!

[mamaforever]

My son is almost the exact same age as your son (he was born end of Dec. 2008).  I sleep with him in his room (we have a queen mattress on the floor in his room).  When I was just about ready to try and see if he would start sleeping by himself during the night, I read this article (posted below), and now I've decided to continue sleeping with him.  BTW, it was DH's choice not to have our son sleep in the family bed (DH cannot sleep with him in the bed).

It sounds to me like your son is not ready to sleep by himself.  And if you want to follow attachment parenting principles, then you need to respond to his needs by allowing him to continue cosleeping.  Please try to avoid CIO- research shows it can be harmful (in the long-term) to your child!  I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear, but I just have to be honest.  He will only be this little once, and he will grow up fast!  And one day he will willfully want to sleep on his own.

http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/five-benefits-cosleeping/

[To-Fu]

Originally Posted by traci447 

My son is almost the exact same age as your son (he was born end of Dec. 2008).  I sleep with him in his room (we have a queen mattress on the floor in his room).  When I was just about ready to try and see if he would start sleeping by himself during the night, I read this article (posted below), and now I've decided to continue sleeping with him.  BTW, it was DH's choice not to have our son sleep in the family bed (DH cannot sleep with him in the bed).

It sounds to me like your son is not ready to sleep by himself.  And if you want to follow attachment parenting principles, then you need to respond to his needs by allowing him to continue cosleeping.  Please try to avoid CIO- research shows it can be harmful (in the long-term) to your child!  I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear, but I just have to be honest.  He will only be this little once, and he will grow up fast!  And one day he will willfully want to sleep on his own.

http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/five-benefits-cosleeping/

What a great read that link was!  Thank you for sharing it.

[LDSmomma]

Wow, that's a great article.  I especially like the bit about parents being the ultimate security blanket.  I've tried getting DS attached to something, but he doesn't want anything, and maybe this explains it.  

I am fine with co-sleeping once I'm ready for sleep, but I need time to myself while DS is sleeping, and I often can't get this alone time during his nap, because he sleeps so lightly that I can't sneak away once he's fallen asleep.  DH & I also need time together in the evenings, without DS.  DH travelled a lot over the last six months, and now that he's back home, we need some time together without DS.  

Luckily, DS has gotten a lot better over the last two days.  I can't explain it, but he magically did a 180, and let DH put him to bed last night, without crying at all, and DH snuck away once he was asleep.  DS then came to our bed about 2 hrs later, which works great for me, since I was on my way to falling asleep anyway.  

[mamaforever]

Yeah I love the article too!  I definitely understand needing alone time with DH!  My DH and I don't get much alone time either (I stay home when he works and he stays home when I work).  I can understand it being frustrating too that you can't sneak away when your DS is asleep.  My son will sleep for 2 or 3 hours before crying out for me wanting me to come to bed so that makes it much easier for me. Can you make some alone time with DH by going on a date while someone babysits?  We are doing that tomorrow while my mom babysits and I'm really looking forward to that alone time with DH.  :)  Anyway, I'm glad that the last 2 nights have been better for your DS.  I hope it continues for you.

[LDSmomma]

We decided we need to start hiring sitter.  I've been trying, in vain, to set up a babysitting co-op among friends, but no one else seems interested.  So, we're going to find a sitter and start going on dates, "even if it's just to the grocery store" as DH put it.