Hi Mamas, I’ve gotten myself into a little delimma for which I need support and a bit of a “Good Job, Mama!”
We are a non-vaccing family. Stepson was dx PPD-NOS the summer after his MMR… so our 3 yr old has had none, though if we’re asked directly, we’ll say we’re on the delayed vaccination schedule approved by her pediatrician (all true).
We’ve been spending a lot of time with dd’s cousins (my dh’s cousin), a very mainstream/very vaccinating family of now 3 kids. The wife is lovely, the husband is a pain, but she defers to some of his parenting decisions (as my dh defers to mine, and vise versa), one being Vaccinations Have Saved The World, Let’s Not Get Off Schedule.
The newborn just came home, and they brought up vaccinations. Unfortunately, I admitted that she’s had none (darn it! Should have shut my mouth until I found out what specifically they were concerned about). They said they were most concerned about Pertussis; the hospital even convinced her successfully to get a booster, “for the baby”. So she asked if dd’s is sick to not come over (we’ve been visiting at least once a week for over a year). While that’s fine, we completely respect her request, here’s my fear: As I understand it, and please correct me if I’m wrong, the pertussis vaccine doesn’t protect against transmission (please send me links confirming or squashing this; I’ve been combing through the archives). But they know dd isn’t vaccinated and are convinced it does protect against transmission. If something were to happen to the baby, all fingers would point to me/dd. I can’t have the whole family (even if falsely) convinced that dd hurt/killed the new baby.
I don’t want to lie (“Got her shot this week, thanks! Not her fault, she was vaccinated!”) but I also can’t control if dd or anyone (the oldest cousin goes to preschool twice a week and brings home germies!) brings WC into the home. Regardless, I fear we’d be blamed.
I am requesting your support and a bit of problem solving. I’m glad I’ve been reading these boards for 4 years (go me!) and so I’ve learned about the vaccinations however, now I’m in an actual situation. I adore the wife and her kids, the husband travels so I won’t even interact with him much so I don’t think this is something to lose a friendship over. I’ve got 6 months until the baby is ‘fully vaccinated’. What would you do?
Would you involve your doctor? He does vaccinate in his office but is supportive of us not vaccinating.