Told someone a possible name... now I can't use it!

[OliveJewel]

Are you weird like me about naming your babies?  With our last we "discovered" it while out hiking the morning of his birth...  This time around we had a really good name picked out and I am usually very secretive about telling names... but my great aunt asked and because I respect her so much I went ahead and told her a name we had picked if it's a girl  .  Then she told my dad and then this morning he asked me, "So, if it's a girl, do you like the name ________?"  Something about the sound of him saying it kind of weirded me out and I resolved not to use that name... even though we really liked it.  (Also I was mad because of COURSE I liked it!  Why else would I have told my aunt?  I have a weird relationship with my dad--he gets under my skin SUPER easily.)

So basically, I *can't* pick out a name early, and if I do, I can't tell anyone... it's like a sacred thing.  KWIM?

[Italiamom]

This thread makes me laugh a little.  I am JUST like this...  I often see the name threads and kind of scratch my head!  But to each mama her own!!

When we were naming DS, we kept a master list, and didn't tell a soul.  It drove everyone bonkers, but when we finally named him the day after he was born, no one had heard the name before (I mean, they had heard it, just not in relation to us or DS).  For us, it was a really private and special process.

[Marissamom]

with DD we couldn't pick a name, came up with a list, and named her after some bonding time. this time we had our name picked out at 20 weeks, and have told most people  the name just feels perfect. 

[SimpleLove]

I am the same exact way!! With my first pregnancy I told ONE person, who ended up getting a monogrammed diaper bag with that name way before I was due. It felt so weird! I mean, I actually felt angry inside, haha, I realize that's irrational because she was just being nice. But this time around we won't tell anyone. Oh, and no offense to other mamas, but I never really understood people who use the name to talk about the unborn baby out in public, like "Whoa, Sarah really isn't happy I ate Mexican today". Or just having their name on everything before they are safe at home.

[MamaPhD]

I don't know why but I feel the same way.  With DD we picked out a name right away when we found out it was a girl at 20 weeks and did not tell ANYONE.  With DS due any day now, we also picked out a name we are not sharing.  Yes some people, especially family got really annoyed (my sister hung up on me!) but DH and I feel like it's our little secret with the baby.  Also I see that once a name is mentioned during pregnancy it just gets too much commentary from everyone thumbs up or down and I don't want to deal with that, whereas once baby is born and the name announced, most people just accept it. 

[OliveJewel]

I knew I wasn't alone on this one!  Yes, getting the monogrammed bag would feel really really weird.  We'll see what name comes up at the birth...  :)

[Buddhamom]

On the monogrammed thing I had to laugh because we told people what our second daughter's name was before birth and my sweet sister went and embroidered a nice wall hanging and I felt bad telling her we were spelling it differently *LOL*

[zuzunel09]

My husband and I agreed instantaneously on the name we'll be using for dd (due in May), which in and of itself is a miracle.  We HAVE to use this name.  We love everything about it and it fits our little one so perfectly; she is full of personality already.  I was so excited about it that I made the huge mistake of telling a friend, an older woman, who asked me if I "knew the story" of this name.  I said yes but that's not who we're naming her after, and also this name is still in use in Greece.  She just was very regretful and like "well, we'll see, we'll find a name that suits."    Sometimes you just have to be brave and do what you feel is right even when people act like this, because it's your child, NOT theirs.

[jeninejessica]

DH and I had a name picked out since high school, due to a school project where we had to "create our life" and then budget for it. We chose a boys and a girls name, and then they stuck. We ended up telling DH's sisters randomly one day during a casual conversation.

A couple months later, our second niece was born, and they named her Ava. Our name had been Avery.   So.. we pouted. Moved on.

Then, DH's other sister name her second Elizabeth-- one that had been set as a middle name for us, since it was my grandmother's name. Oh well, sad. moving on.

I started nannying for a family, and fell in love with the name olivia. let it slip. Several months later-- You called it, our next niece was named Olivia.

I kind of feel like I give up now! lol

[homestyle]

We are also in the camp of keeping it super top secret until after the birth. When people ask what we've come up with names, I tell them that so far we have decided she should have one.  It also helps that we can cite our (jewish) tradition of naming the babe in the synagogue first ... people seem to accept that! 

After I say we aren't sharing her name before the birth, the conversation often turns to criticism of other people's kids' names! No, thanks .. I think I'll pass on putting this personal thing out there at all!  It's funny how pushy people can be with wanting to share their own feelings on somebody else's name! I can't imagine that happening when the babe is arms. Not to my face, anyway.

[Mommyofalmost6]

I have always refused to talk about names with family and friends. At first they were aggravated but by number 4 or 5 they were just used to it and didnt give me any grief. My husbands family though good lord you would have thought I was evil or something. I refuse to talk about it with anyone other then my husband because I do not want to hear the rude remarks from someone who doesnt like the name I love :)

[erigeron]

I spent a lot of time talking about names with my friends before I was even pregnant, because it was really hard for hubby and me to agree on anything. Then after we were pregnant I made the mistake of telling my mom about some of our names (and it was in more of a context of "I can't believe A. likes all these dreadful names", because I wanted sympathy and I knew her tastes were more similar to mine). She asserted that grandparents get veto rights. Soooo now, she is not going to find out the names until the ink is dry on the birth certificate. And that means we're not telling everyone else either because news travels. I suck at keeping my mouth shut but so far have managed to tell only 2 friends, neither of whom is likely to cross paths with my mom. We ended up with pretty "normal" names that nobody could find objectionable but still! I've debated telling my grandmother closer to the birth just so she can flush out any possible skeletons lurking in the family closet with the same name, but I'd have to time it right so she doesn't feel burdened by not telling my dad.

[Mommyofalmost6]

You know the more I think about this the more I think naming our children should not be so hard!

[Eaglevoice]

Hmmm, I guess I'm not on the same page. There is no way I would not name my baby a certain name just because someone knew about it before the baby was born. I feel like if you love the name and feel a connection with it, then use it. It's a simple thing for me. For dd1 and dd2, I didn't know if they were boys or girls, so I had settled on 2 or 3 names for each sex and once they were born, they sort of chose their own name. But I certainly wouldn't get weirded out if someone knew the name  ahead of time. But that's just me. 

[zinemama]

Like the pp, I really don't understand your position. You found a name - not always an easy thing to do - you love the name, and simply because someone found out about it, you feel you have to scrap it? When the whole world will know the name in a matter of months anyway? I'm not seeing your logic here. It's almost like you're discarding the name to spite your dad. If you love the name, just use it.

[jenofur]

We keep our mouths shut about what we are naming our kids. I once let slip before I was even pregnant this second time that I liked the name Felix and my mother had the most horrendous reaction to the name. I still considered it for our son but we've chosen something else. I also know quite a few people who tell family/friends the name they are going to use and then they are told everything horrible about the name and then it's ruined for them. 

Our daughter is named Reno and I know if we told family/friends before hand what her name was going to be she would have a different name now. My FIL still refuses to call her by her first name and my MIL whispers it and then says her middle name louder so people think that is her name! Or she'll pronounce it Rena which is, I guess, a more accepted name in her mind. Its really annoying. I've told her fake names we might be naming this baby just to annoy her and she say's things like " oh please we've had enough trouble with Reno's name!" It's kinda hilarious because most people LOVE her name.