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post #21 of 31

I think it  depended on the content of the message... if it looked like the person put any thought into it, yeah. If it looked like a copy/paste that the guy sent to dozens of women, no. I had decided that I was going to make the first move, so anyone who contacted me was automatically thrown on the 'reject' pile, regardless!

post #22 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha27 View Post

ok, question for all you who have used OKCupid- when someone does send you a message and you read there profile and just aren't interested do you write back a message or do you think it is better to just not write anything?



Normally I don't respond if I'm not interested. If they say something really interesting, I might comment on it.

post #23 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mummoth View Post

I think it  depended on the content of the message... if it looked like the person put any thought into it, yeah. If it looked like a copy/paste that the guy sent to dozens of women, no. I had decided that I was going to make the first move, so anyone who contacted me was automatically thrown on the 'reject' pile, regardless!


oooo good plan, I wish I had more nerve to do that but im so shy and unsure of myself that I really am no good at this dating stuff!

post #24 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha27 View Post

ok, question for all you who have used OKCupid- when someone does send you a message and you read there profile and just aren't interested do you write back a message or do you think it is better to just not write anything?


If it's someone who seems to have read my profile and who's a decent match and fits the criteria that my profile shows but I'm just not interested, then I send a polite "thanx for your note but I don't think we're a good match" type note back.

 

If it's someone who obviously just was browsing pictures and sent a wink or a "hey, you're hot" type of message (like they're only 40% match, 15 - 20 years younger or older, etc), then I just delete it. I used to reply to those, too, but, my experience has been that those guys send nasty or defensive notes back.

 

I have gotten messages from guys who clearly don't fit what I'm looking for but they are carefully thought out and explain why they wrote anyway, and I always reply to those politely.

post #25 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha27 View Post




oooo good plan, I wish I had more nerve to do that but im so shy and unsure of myself that I really am no good at this dating stuff!



I was very nervous about dating, too... I hadn't been single since I was a teenager! The reason I decided to do things that way was because my cousin terrorized me with stories from her friend, the DCF worker. Predators seek out single mothers online, and become the most helpful BF ever to earn her trust (and time alone with her kids) There are some guys who do this so prolifically that the DCF workers are familiar with them. My cousin actually advised me to say I DON'T have kids on my profile, so I wouldn't be a target, but I didn't want to lie. Anyway, that's what made me brave enough to make the first move! I said "Hi!" to SO in the little pop-up chat window, and he didn't take it as "This girl wants to hook-up tonight!" ... that was my other 'test' LOL!

post #26 of 31

Honestly, the hipsters got to OKCupid first. That might be why about half of the profiles on there seem so over the top and faux-confident, lol. I did manage to meet a few interesting people on there, so don't give up hope!

 

Hipsters - essentially this guy

post #27 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mummoth View Post





I was very nervous about dating, too... I hadn't been single since I was a teenager! The reason I decided to do things that way was because my cousin terrorized me with stories from her friend, the DCF worker. Predators seek out single mothers online, and become the most helpful BF ever to earn her trust (and time alone with her kids) There are some guys who do this so prolifically that the DCF workers are familiar with them. My cousin actually advised me to say I DON'T have kids on my profile, so I wouldn't be a target, but I didn't want to lie. Anyway, that's what made me brave enough to make the first move! I said "Hi!" to SO in the little pop-up chat window, and he didn't take it as "This girl wants to hook-up tonight!" ... that was my other 'test' LOL!


yikes! now that makes me want to delete my profile and just stay lonely! :)

post #28 of 31
Thread Starter 

I don't think I received any "canned" responses, but now I'm curious. Could someone please explain this to me and give me some examples. Maybe I did and I just didn't know it.

post #29 of 31

Martha27~ it's scary, eh? But it's one of those things where a little awareness goes a long way. If you keep it on your radar, you'll spot it when someone has ulterior motives.

 

Mama Soltera~ a canned response is vague, there's no question about something on your profile. It might say something like "I like your smile" that, chances are 95% of the pictures out there have a smile on their face, right? Usually it's just 1 or 2 sentences, not a lot of detail, no personality.

post #30 of 31
Thread Starter 

Oh, I definitely never responded to those ones! And yeah, those were pretty much always people way outside of the age-range I had specified.

post #31 of 31

I met my husband on okcupid.  :)  We got married in October, a year after we met!

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