Teaching my baby nursing manners

[remijo]

X- posted in life with a babe...

My dd is 13 months old. She has always been kind of high needs / spirited / clingy.  I cried for months after I had her everytime she nursed because she had a terrible latch but we got through it and she was exclusively breastfed for 10 months.  (Still breastfed but also eating solids). I know she is a baby still but she is so bitey, pinchey, kicky, everything. I have bruises all over my belly and breasts from her pinching and kicking me. She won't sit still to nurse. Her latest thing is that she wants to nurse from one side while pinching my other nipple. If I don't let her, she screams. I am tempted to wean but I know she's not ready yet but I'm tired of her hurting me all the time. I try to demonstrate nice touch but even though she loves to be held, she doesn't really like to be touched if that makes any sense.  She will never just sit nicely with me unless she is sleeping. She is very loud and screams like a banshee every time she doesn't get her way.  When she nurses, she likes to be upside down - rocking and standing on her head, doing insane yoga poses... We are moving to Korea in two months (military move) and I need to kind of tame this a little bit now before things get crazy. Any advice?  

[Marissamom]

be strong and firm with her. decide on some limits and stick with them. for instance, my DD is absolutely not allowed to touch my other nipple while nursing, so if she tries she gets told no and her hand moved away. if she tries more than a couple of times she gets de-latched  and told she can nurse when she's ready to be nice and we take a 5 or so minute break. after the break, if she keeps doing it, we take another break. I would probably work on the different behaviors one at a time, so start with, say, standing on her head (this was one my DD did too, and every once in a while she still does), one she isn't standing on her head as much, move on to kicking, etc. the most important thing is to be consistent, if you cave every once in a while they can get even more persistent. 

[kismetbaby]

I found that this behavior was a phase with my DS and didn't last all that long. Do insist on good nursing manners and maybe try and spend some time doing really physical play with her esp before you think she may ask to nurse.  I've found with my DS that if I get involved in some very physical and energetic play with him a lot of his behaviors that drive me crazy will calm down a little.  I think sometimes they are developmentally just really wound up--learning new things, trying to process.

DS loves a game where we go and play on our King size mattress which is on the floor, so we can throw our bodies around and tickle and such without getting hurt.  On the flip side to that I have tried to teach my DS good relaxation techniques by modelling them myself.  So after a good wrestle, when it's time for something quiet(er) like nursing, I breath very deeply and deliberately/loudly or sing or talk to him about being quiet and relaxed.  It didn't seem like he was listening or caring much at that age, but now (he's 16.5m) when I do this he will mimic my deep breaths.  He also likes to have his legs rubbed pretty hard while he is nursing--again, I think he just gets wound up and doesn't know what to do with that energy so I have to find ways to redirect it away from him hitting and kicking on me and thrashing around while BFing.

HTH