"Shut Up" and I can't ever talk with anyone :(

[simplygreen]

Well my DS will be 4 in May, we have come along way in our realtionship, but lately he has started using  "shut up", I know he picked it up from my brother-inlaw and preschool, but he is now saying constantly over everything. Its become his go to word when he becomes anxious. We ignored it at first, telling him to use "be quiet", but other times its gotten to be to much, he has yelled it in strangers faces. I'm not sure how to handle it anymore?

Also I can't ever talk to on the phone anymore. I'm a SAHM but once in a while I have to call my mom for something, and I let my son talk with her, but then he will harass me come next to me yelling, I ask him to please let momma finish her conversation and we will do XYZ. I walk in the other room and he followss, screaming making all the noise he can, then if he can't get my attention he starts hurting his baby sister. I seriously have maybe one 5 min. phone call a week, but how am I suppose to react to this?

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by simplygreen 

Well my DS will be 4 in May, we have come along way in our realtionship, but lately he has started using  "shut up", I know he picked it up from my brother-inlaw and preschool, but he is now saying constantly over everything. Its become his go to word when he becomes anxious. We ignored it at first, telling him to use "be quiet", but other times its gotten to be to much, he has yelled it in strangers faces. I'm not sure how to handle it anymore?

Also I can't ever talk to on the phone anymore. I'm a SAHM but once in a while I have to call my mom for something, and I let my son talk with her, but then he will harass me come next to me yelling, I ask him to please let momma finish her conversation and we will do XYZ. I walk in the other room and he followss, screaming making all the noise he can, then if he can't get my attention he starts hurting his baby sister. I seriously have maybe one 5 min. phone call a week, but how am I suppose to react to this?

Shut up = VERY stern lecture about unacceptable, rude behavior and a trip to his room to think about it.
Talking over me on the phone (BTDT) = another stern lecture and ultimately I would lock myself and the baby if necessary in a room to talk. Just to make the point that I was on the phone and would.not.be.interrupted. I don't talk on the phone for fun (hate the phone) so if I'm on the phone it's something essential.

It sounds to me like he doens't quite realize where he fits in the family. Like he thinks he makes the rules.

[maryeb]

I agree completely with the pp.  I also stopped using phrases like "let me do this then I will, xyz"  or "please let me finish xyz" because it's like asking their permission.  I instead just say, "I'm on the phone.  I will help you when I'm done talking with nana."  Make sure they have things to do like a snack, crayons, etc before you make a call or get them outside if possible.  I have locked myself in the bathroom before to finish a conversation too.  I've also used a video in order to get a call in (my best friend lives in France) when I really need that conversation.  :)  Good luck mama!  Mary

[thedenverduo]

Have you tried having him "wear out" the words "shut up"?  My mom did this with me and my sisters and it worked really well.  I think it sounds like your ds is saying it because it gets him attention and because it is a bad word.  He needs to learn the acceptable way to get all these "shut ups" out because holding them in isn't working.

My mom would have us sit on our bed or at the table and alone and say the offending word over and over and over until we got them all out.  For the first minute it was really fun and felt like we were getting away with something, and then it got boring, and then we realized the word wasn't even that cool.  Then if we used the word in an unacceptable way (like yelling it at strangers) my mom would take that as a sign that we had a build up of bad words and needed to sit down and get through them before they came out on otheir own and hurt someones feelings.