well i am not sure where to post this.
parenting has been more or less a happy adventure - mostly smooth sailing and whatever rough patches we encountered, we always could rise to the challenge and emerge stronger.
now dd is 7.5 and i feel very lost. failure is a word that comes to mind often.
i can't help thinking that we would not have these problems if she went to school. i guess it is always easy to think that school, this huge thing that we dont do in our lives, would be the answer to such problems as
- needing "something to do" all the time
- expecting to get her way (never had this at age 2-3-4 ...)
- wanting attention for every little thing she does. She just started to roller skate and she puts on performances in which she goes from one side of the room to the other. we are supposed to make a big deal of it, clapping etc. I could do this if she were 3 or 5 but 7???
- provoking fights - "what did you say?" she will ask of some incidental comment and then take issue with it.
- shouting, abusive language, hitting. so far the hitting is not hard, but i don't see why it would not escalate. neither dh or i has ever shouted or done anything apart from gentle discipline and democratic communication. so where did she get this from?
so far her rage is directed only at us, her parents. but we have no way to deal with it. generally it passes and she is fine - for a while. and she has moments where she is caring, helpful, cooperative, etc. i have been looking up the descriptions of various "disorders" such as bipolar, etc. i don't want to think she has any of these, but then these days it seems so many do and maybe we have to face up to it.
apart from enrolling in school, a thought that does often come to mind, i am thinking of looking for classes she might want to take. she is kind of resistant to classes, i don't know if this comes from my influence too much, she will say things like "what is learning? you don't need a class to dance, you just dance. I dont want someone to tell me do it this way, etc" (not something I have ever said, but she may be picking up on other things I have said). But I think we need to do something. we have no hs group near us either.
oh - also we tried to have a family meeting the way moominmama talks about. We all sat down and I tried to describe the meeting as well as I could, then we went around to "check-in" with how we were doing. After that dd walked out and did not respond when we called her.