Does nightweaning require CIO?-Update

[eternamariposa]

 

My little girl is a wake up every 1-2 hours all night long, every night 14 month old and I am pretty over it at this point.  She is super tired and cranky-so am I really.  There are also dental issues that could benefit from being put to sleep with a clean mouth every night as well.  I don't want to totally wean her of course, it is still special and certainly beneficial but we need to confine our nursing to the day time hours.  

BUT I don't know how to accomplish this without having to just make her deal with it as she is by no means simply going to agree to being nightweaned.   My husband is a firefighter who is often away at night so I am pretty much on my own here.  I have tried getting her down via rocking/signing following baths, teeth brushing, story telling, etc. but I have never had her sleep for more than 2 hours and I am surprised if it goes that long.  Once she wakes up she wants to nurse back to sleep.  I rock, pat, but she is up screaming every fifteen minutes until morning.  She also transfers terribly.  I am not someone who advocates CIO, but when we absolutely have to make a change and she is 100% set against it what are my options?

[elluin]

Have you tried the book The No-Cry Sleep Solution? She offers strategies to transition your current sleeping arrangements (including nightweaning) without CIO. Our daughter is younger, so we used it for better sleep, but not nightweaning yet. I hope you get some rest!

[eternamariposa]

 

I read through the NCSS and some of the information has been helpful like identifying possible causes of the frequent night wakings (ie offending foods, teething, etc.)  but I really didn't feel like any of her suggestions were very concrete or direct.  I feel like I am so desperate and have such a hard time with consistency in this area of parenting that I really wish I could read through some very specific stories, like "this is step by step what worked".  I am too frustrated and tired to keep a multi-week sleep journal.  And, honestly because my daughter has multiple decalcification spots despite xylitol, lots of brushing, and calcium paste use I feel like a change needs to happen pretty quickly.

Oh, and something that is very difficult for me too is that pretty much EVERYTHING I read says "just pass the night wakings on to Daddy" and that isn't an option for me.

[Wilbur]

What about Dr. Jay Gordon's method?

It's pretty concrete, not CIO, and doesn't require that your DH be involved. I found it worked really well once DS was really verbal (though we've backslid a couple of times, when we go away for weekends and sleep other places or when he's had a cold)

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

Good luck!

[chfriend]

Could she have reflux?

[eternamariposa]

Originally Posted by Wilbur 

What about Dr. Jay Gordon's method?

It's pretty concrete, not CIO, and doesn't require that your DH be involved. I found it worked really well once DS was really verbal (though we've backslid a couple of times, when we go away for weekends and sleep other places or when he's had a cold)

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

Good luck!

I actually just found this and felt the most hopeful about his method.  I love it that he totally acknowledges the many benefits of co-sleeping and breastfeeding AND the importance of flexing to what your family needs.  He also had the most specific set of instructions which is comforting for an exhausted mama.  So were you able to keep your lo in bed with you?

As for the reflux...I have often suspected it that she may have silent reflux but after switching to block feeding, moderating acidic foods, and eliminating dairy she has been much better.
 

[xelakann]

Originally Posted by Wilbur 

What about Dr. Jay Gordon's method?

It's pretty concrete, not CIO, and doesn't require that your DH be involved. I found it worked really well once DS was really verbal (though we've backslid a couple of times, when we go away for weekends and sleep other places or when he's had a cold)

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

Good luck!

Yes this!! Worked wonders for us!

[Julbug]

My daughter was younger when we had this problem (like from 4 months to 9 months or so) but what ultimately worked was night weaning without CIO. I know everybody hates Ferber, but his book has instructions for night weaning without CIO that were surprisingly gentle for us (and clear, I threw so many sleep books across the room because the directions made no sense!). As I recall, when the baby wakes up in the night you just snuggle the baby, rock, do whatever you need to to sooth but just delay breast feeding a little bit, then a little bit more with each waking until you're going longer and longer intervals without feeding at night. I didn't ever need to put her in bed crying, I just held her until the clock said it was time to nurse and then nursed her back to sleep. I still nursed her to sleep for naps and bedtime, too, she just gradually stopped expecting to eat all night long and waking up to ask for it. It didn't do any harm to our daytime nursing relationship, either.

I have no idea if this would work for you -- just wanted to let you know that night weaning with CIO is an option. It's miserable to be waking up all night long. Hang in there. Eventually you will find something that works for your family. :)

[Willoughby]

Also -- I get that you are often on your own at night but we nightweaned around the same age and it was just a few nights of daddy going in and then once we had the no-night-nursing thing down, I was able to start dealing with night wakings again without having to nurse. So if your other half has a few nights off in a row, it might be worth a try if that's the route you want to go. It involved lots of tears and drama but in Daddy's arms, which is quite different that CIO, which we didn't want to do. She was mad and frustrated but we were okay with that. Nights definitely improved after that.

[eternamariposa]

So I wanted to update with good news!  We are on night three of my little lady sleeping in her own bed (pack and play) and she is crying less now than she was before when I was struggling to settle her in for the night!  She isn't sleeping straight through yet, but night one she went for 5 hours and night two she went for 6 hours! This is miraculous for a baby who had never slept for longer than two hours or so straight before.  We padded the base of the pack and play with a nice thick blanket and then wrapped that with a crib sheet for comfort, got her a little soft lovee thing to hold, attached a soother that plays music with lights and the whole deal, and I am being more diligent with the night time routine being consistant.  But this has been great so far. There was no crying battles.  She seemed ready all of a sudden so we snuggle and nurse much more throughout the day and during the early morning hours and she is even being more affectionate!  Thanks for all of the advice.  : )

Our next challenge will be keeping her in her bed after her first night waking.  

 

 

[Refuging]

Please keep us updated! My 20-month-old and I have been working on night-weaning (we're on night 17 now), but we've got another problem: she has to be held and cuddled a very specific way all night long, or else she freaks out. Frankly, I'd prefer to go back to nursing her all night than continuing to strain my body to make sure she's held the way she likes. I'm blogging about it if you're curious. cosleepingthroughthenight.wordpress.com