How do I get my 2 year old out the door in the morning???

[bluedaisy]

I wasn't sure whether to post this in toddlers or gentle discipline....

My 2 year old has been so hard to get out of the door in the morning lately.  I work from home part time so we don't have early mornings and our mornings are pretty relaxed.  She goes to a babysitter 2 mornings a week but it doesn't seem to matter whether we are going to the babysitter, church, storytime, a friend's house, etc.

She doesn't want to get in the bath, get dressed, sit and eat her breakfast, put her shoes and socks on, let me comb her hair etc.  So she will run away, play with toys, flat out refuse, etc

This morning I had 2 hrs and 45 minutes from the time we had to get up until we had to leave to go see a friend and we were still late!!!  She just didn't want to cooperate. 

I try to leave enough time in the morning for at least 15 minutes of "wake up and play" time so it doesn't feel like she wakes up and needs to get into high gear right away.

Any suggestions???  I am tired of being late all the time and have been getting really frustrated lately.

[pianojazzgirl]

One thing I do is to try to reduce to an absolute minimum what needs to get done in order to get out of the door.  A lot of the things you mention I probably wouldn't try to accomplish in my morning routine.  The bath would be the first thing I'd strike off the list.  I'd do it at any point later in the day, when we didn't have somewhere to be at a certain time.  On school days my dd wears her "next day" clothes to bed (a suggestion I made to her when we were having trouble getting out the door in the morning - I do give her the choice between pj's or clothes to change into after her bath and she almost always chooses clothes).  You could do the same or modified with your dd (ie. if she's still in dipes she could sleep in at least her "tomorrow" shirt and socks so it's only the bottoms you have to deal with during morning routine).  Instead of having a big battle over breakfast (if it was headed in that direction) I'd make something portable (peanut butter and jam sandwich, bagel and cream cheese, banana, etc, etc) and let her eat it en route (in the car or stroller).  Things like hair brushing I try to do when dd is distracted (yes, this is even an issue with my 6yo!).  For us it works to do hair brushing while she eats breakfast.  And at age 2 there were days we left the house with unbrushed hair... oh well, lol!  Before we went tv-free I sometimes put on a short cartoon that she could watch (mesmerized!) while I was able to brush her hair, get her dressed, etc (my goal was not to have her to do it herself, just to get it done, btw).  Another distraction might be to give her something cool to play with (cell phone?) while you quickly pull on shoes, etc.

Besides that I'd say you might do better to put off the 15mins of playtime in the morning until she's ready to go.  For one thing it's pretty hard to start playing and then have to stop and do all kinds of boring stuff like eating and dressing.  For another it sometimes works as a little incentive to get past the boring stuff ("come on, let's get those pants on, then we'll have some time to play before we go!").

Another thing that some people have success with is to make a visual chart of all the steps needed to get through the routine.  She could help make it.  Every morning you go through it together, get her to tell you what's next by looking at the pictures.

[elus0814]

I agree with the pp, a bath in the morning is a bit much to include in a routine. I'm remembering, longingly, how easy it was to get out of the house with just one child! Now we have four and we've had to learn to streamline. Plus, playing with toys or running away means you will be taken by the hand and escorted to where you need to be. If I were you I would cut out the bath, get out clothes and hairbrush the night before, say 'we're going to do xyz in the morning', and (after all that is done) get up earlier to allow yourselves more time. 

[One_Girl]

We always woke up and went straight into the shower when my dd was that age and showered together.  After that we dressed and ate then either played or she went to daycare and I went to work.  The set routine with very little to sidetrack us really helped us get into a serious mode, especially when I had to be out of the door for work or school in the mornings.  Even now that my dd is 8 we still stick to the same basic routine.  We talk a lot while we do it, but it is a short and quick routine because that is what has always worked.  If your routine is dragging out then I suggest doing the important stuff first then going on to the play time stuff once you are each clean and dressed for the day. 

[sapphire_chan]

When we have to get out of the house, I'll put dd's clothes on her while she's playing. I also slip her potty under her butt while she plays, feed her, comb her hair, sponge off excess stickiness.

Sometimes it works, sometimes she screams and fights. Either way, the whole time I try to calmly tell her why we're getting dressed and what's going to happen.

[EchoSoul]

I like the above suggestions - reduce how many things to do prior to leaving, but I also had an idea of my own. What about turn it into a game? Say whoever is ready first; a competition of whoever gets their things done faster than the other. And then don't sweat it if it takes her a few times to get into it, :)

[Lisa1970]

Try the bath the night before. I am unsure what else to suggest, but by reducing the morning routine, that should help some. Also, I don't know about your daughter, but my 17 month old is a shoe guy. Give him a good pair of shoes and he is ready to go. Maybe a sparkly purse she can only have when you leave the house? Or a hat? These are not ideas I have tried, but might work.

[sweetiebird]

This is what I do with my 2 year old. He wakes up and we have a bit of cuddle/nurse time. Before we can go downstairs to play both of us (and now his brother too) need to get dressed and brush our teeth. I get him dressed first and then he can play for a bit while I get myself ready. We then head downstairs and I work on getting breakfast ready. I do choices for him, but only of two things, ie would you like eggs or cereal for breakfast? It's time for breakfast, would you like to get into your chair by yourself or would you like mommy to help you? And then act. I try to keep things moving, cheerful, etc. We often put music/radio on and he loves that. I don't have a hair issue as his is short
I'm finding 2 to be a challenge. I hope that this helps a bit. Oh, and I agree about moving bath to another part of the day.

[hakeber]

With DS I bathed him the night before, and dressed him as I woke him including shoes.  (When we over sleep I still do this with him.)  Then by the time he came to he was dressed and ready for the day.  He went for breakfast and while he ate I combed his hair.  My nieces get their hair braided the night before after their baths so in the morning their hair doesn't really need brushing.  If he chose not to eat I brought a snack for the bus ride to the day care or he ate when he got there, and he went with bed head.

When all was done we left immediately because his patience was just not long enough to wait for me to get ready, so I always made sure I was totally ready to go before waking him.

Wake up & play sounds like fun, but does not sound like a good idea if you're having trouble getting out the door. 

For the babysitters I think you could probably send her in PJs and with an uncombed head and she probably wouldn't bat an eyelid if you send a change of clothes and a comb...I am sure it wouldn't be a big deal.  We did that plenty when the going got rough.

[bluedaisy]

thanks for all the suggestions!

My dd is biracial and the main reasons we do baths in the morning is because of her hair...it's pretty much impossible to comb it unless it is soaked and covered in conditioner.  And it takes so long to dry so baths before bed means going to bed with a wet head.

However, I do think I need to change her baths, especially since now she has gotten in the habit of breastfeeding while still all wrapped up in her towel after bath...she calls it "mia in the bundle", lol.  So bath + breastfeeding in the morning takes FOREVER.

I find if I put her hair in pigtails, I can just wet and redo them without having to comb her hair.  I've been putting on you tube videos like "elephant lullaby" to get her to sit still so I can do it.  I hate using videos this way, especially since we don't really let dd watch much TV, but it works for now and the past few mornings have been so much better.