Fed up with spoon feeding

[theoldmommers]

Hi, maybe this belongs under "skinny babies tribe" but I'd love to hear from mamas who've BTDT.  DD is 8.5 mos and according to my scale weighs 14.6lbs, which means she's gained .6 in 2.5 months.  She's been eating solids since 6 mos.  I've been making food cubes and cereals myself, adding baby vits with iron and probiotics.  I've offered various finger foods (sweet pots, bananas, tofu, cooked apples, oatios and puffed rice).  She really only eats the dry cereal, and squishes up the others.

She's not really keen on the purees - flatly refusing to eat about one meal out of three.  I'm very respectful, wait until she's ready, don't force, allow her to get her hands in the bowl, have a spoon, etc.  I get very frustrated when I try so hard to provide good food (I taste it and it's yum) and she turns her head away emphatically.

I wouldn't stress about this at all if she was a bigger baby, but we've got her 9 mos. Dr appointment coming up and I'm stressed about her weight.  Also, if she doesn't eat the purees the vitamins don't get in.  She will also have an iron check at that appointment.  I'm not sure why I'm so afraid of getting yelled at, except the Dr commented at the last appointment that she was small.

She nurses pretty well 6-7 times a day.

Can anyone help?  I'd go to all finger food, but I'm so afraid that she'll become malnourished on a diet of Oatios! 

[SeattleRain]

First of all, she might just be little. I mean 14.6lbs is pretty little, but if she's nursing well then she's not starving. I know this sounds crazy but have you tried jarred foods? They have a slightly different consistency that some babies like better. We like Earth's Best purees when Daniel doesn't eat homemade. He definitely will eat more jarred than homemade, I don't really know what the deal is. Also, try giving her more complex foods that have fat like whole milk yogurt or avocado.

[Knitting Mama]

I wouldn't worry about it. She's small, but many kids are. Mine is. Mine also just recently started to actually swallow appreciable amounts of food. She is 10 months old and has been self feeding since just before 7 months. Unless your doctor is talking about FTT, I really wouldn't stress it, and let her learn to self feed on her own curve.

[Adaline'sMama]

I have a "skinny baby" who just hit 17 lbs at 11 months. She's been eating solids since 6 months, but until about 9 months she really just played with them. If I have time to wash her up really well, Ill dump a cup of yogurt or purreed food on her highchair tray and then poke o's or blueberries or small foods that I know she will eat into the puree or yogurt. She eats both that way. Its messy, but she has a lot of fun too. I also put butter on her food a lot. She eats bread, scrambled eggs, sweet potatoes, red potatoes, and dehydrated apple rings- all with butter on them. I buy Amish Roll butter and I think its totally fine to give it to her. I see nothing wrong with butter though. I think its good fat, but thats a matter of opinion. She will also eat guacamole if I make her tiny tortilla sandwhiches with the guac in the middle. (she wont eat avacados alone though)

[MJB]

You might want to try scrambled eggs as a finger food-- my skinny baby loves eggs. I spoon fed her egg salad yesterday and she loved that, too. Yobaby yogurt is a big hit with her as well. I add in organic brown rice cereal for the iron/vits. Are you vegetarian? If not, meat is a great baby food strangely enough. My other babies were raised vegetarian so I was surprised at how much my little girl loves meat and it seems to be more digested than fruits/veg if her diapers are any indication. 

[expat-mama]

Try greek yogurt- it's really thick, thicker than a puree and has tons of fat and it's soooooooo yummy! My DS would eat it every meal if he could. He has it once a day.  I mix all sorts of stuff into it depending on what he needs- blackstrap molasses, flax oil, etc.

[Knitting Mama]

Bonus, it also doesn't have added sugar or artificial anything, so you can doctor it up with fresh fruit or whatever you want. We also use Greek yogurt as a sour cream substitute here, so it's all we have in the fridge for both purposes.

[theoldmommers]

Thanks, everyone. Those are all great suggestions.  You're right, Cecelia's Mama, there is no reason to get myself all worked up unless the Ped starts talking FTT.  That would be crazy since Miss Baby is clearly what I would call a robust baby!   I tried Greek yogurt a while back and she spit it out and was also really gassy later on.  I may try it again, though it's hard to find any that's not 0% fat around here.  I occasionally get her to eat an egg yolk mixed in with her fruit puree, but I'm holding off on whites until after 1 year. 

Do you think that feeding a baby defies the insanity definition - we need to keep doing the same thing over and over and expect (eventually) a different result?  Maybe it's a growth phase, teething...and it just needs to be waited out without panicking?  Yesterday she only ate dinner  - about 2TB each of apricot, banana and apple sauce.

My DS (now 8) was sooooo difficult to feed.  If he was presented with something he didn't like it would end the meal right there.  He stayed at about the 30% though since he also had some formula.  I really hope that things can be different this time around. 

chilloutchilloutchillout....

[~Amy~]

Originally Posted by theoldmommers 
 Yesterday she only ate dinner  - about 2TB each of apricot, banana and apple sauce.

Honestly, that seems to me like a ton of food for her age.  My DS wasn't eating anywhere near that amount of solids in a day until at least a year...maybe more like 14 months.  I would perhaps, as others have mentioned, try to feel her higher fat, higher protein foods instead of that much fruit, though.  I hear you on the Greek yogurt...I can sometimes find one that is 2%, but almost all of it is 0% fat.  I gave DS Balkan yogurt as I could find that in 3+%.  My DS ate lots of eggs (still does), yogurt, refried beans.  Seriously, though, I really wouldn't worry.  My DS gained very little between his 6 month & 9 month appointments & our doctor really wasn't worried at all.  Hope her appointment goes well.

[HonkyTonka]

Is it possible that your babe is sensing your tension or stress about your desire for her to eat? Maybe try offering her a bunch of finger food she hasn't had before (omit ones you know she loves) on her tray while you do something else - like cooking. My LO loves black beans, chick peas, egg, and chunks of meat. She is sometimes a little shy with food if I'm hovering around her, but when left to amuse herself she eats. Just an idea...

[Knitting Mama]

Originally Posted by ~Amy~ 

Honestly, that seems to me like a ton of food for her age.  My DS wasn't eating anywhere near that amount of solids in a day until at least a year...maybe more like 14 months.  I would perhaps, as others have mentioned, try to feel her higher fat, higher protein foods instead of that much fruit, though.  I hear you on the Greek yogurt...I can sometimes find one that is 2%, but almost all of it is 0% fat.  I gave DS Balkan yogurt as I could find that in 3+%.  My DS ate lots of eggs (still does), yogurt, refried beans.  Seriously, though, I really wouldn't worry.  My DS gained very little between his 6 month & 9 month appointments & our doctor really wasn't worried at all.  Hope her appointment goes well.

For my 10 month old daughter that is also a TON of food. I would say she averages 1-2 tbsp. TOTAL at a meal.

And yes, I do think feeding a baby does defy the definition of insanity! They're learning to eat, just like how they'll learn to read and write later on. You wouldn't expect them to draw a perfect letter A the first time they're shown how to do it; why expect them to eat square meals right away?

[theoldmommers]

Originally Posted by HonkyTonka 

Is it possible that your babe is sensing your tension or stress about your desire for her to eat? Maybe try offering her a bunch of finger food she hasn't had before (omit ones you know she loves) on her tray while you do something else - like cooking. My LO loves black beans, chick peas, egg, and chunks of meat. She is sometimes a little shy with food if I'm hovering around her, but when left to amuse herself she eats. Just an idea...

Oh, I certainly think that's a possibility.  I have done as you suggest and she ended up eating maybe 10 oatios and none of the other foods I offered.

It's really reassuring to hear that your babies don't eat much volume.  I got all my feeding advice from The Super Baby Food Book where the suggested portion sizes are just colossal.  Maybe on average we're actually doing just fine!

I tend to go back to an all fruit selection when she's skipped a few meals, since that's what she's most likely to eat.  I guess I have to just keep presenting a nice selection of stuff (with more fat!) and she can just eat it or not. 

I think there's just some fundamental self judgment on mothering ability based on how much food you can get into your child!

[Asiago]

Originally Posted by theoldmommers 

I think there's just some fundamental self judgment on mothering ability based on how much food you can get into your child!

That's funny you mention that because there is an actual history to this relatively new mindet. It coincided with commercialization of baby food and artificial milk along with the formula fed growth charts. I was reading that doctors were in a bit of a competition to say whose tiny patients were chubbiest, eating the most solids, earliest to eat and so on. The formula fed growth charts that were used to chart breast fed babies didn't help the matter much as they were inaccurate. Then in the 70's people were actually encouraged to overcome the tongue thrust, which we now know is a protective mechanism to prevent early ingestion of anything foreign. Back then though baby would push food out of mouth, and someone would scoop it back in.

The CDC has reccomended the WHO charts officially for all babies aged 0-2 yrs. The CDC chart is no longer reccomended for this age group, whether forumula fed or not.

http://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/who_charts.htm 

If your doctor is not up to date, you may wish to print out this statement on the CDC site for her. My doctor was using the old 2000 CDC charts which are no longer reccomended.

I checked and your baby is about 15% for weight, so she well on the chart. For what it's worth prior to the commericalization of artifical milk and baby food, solids were not commonly introduced until one year of age .http://www.ext.colostate.edu/pubs/foodnut/09358.html 

Some babies are interested in solids at six months and others are not until well into their second year. You could post a question in breastfeeding perhaps if you wish to increase her nursing if you feel she may gain more weight. Perhaps her body is not ready yet for solids and breastfeeding more may be helpful at this time and until she is showing more interest in solids.

[Mosaic]

I agree with much of what has been said already. Some babies don't dig solid foods right away, which is fine because milk provides the nutrients they need at this point anyway. The whole point of introducing foods is to help babies get used to tastes, textures, and the motor skills necessary to move food to the back of the mouth, chew, swallow, etc. Quantity is not the goal at this point, and you're right not to push the issue or upset her at meal time. Your doctor should also be sure to look at *her* curve and how she has grown over time and not just comparing her to the growth charts. If she's always been on the smaller side, that's very different than if she started out in the 95th percentile for weight!

In rare instances, disinterest or refusal of food can have other sources such as intolerances, health/physical issues, etc. I only mention it because I came here with similar questions and was told that "it's normal" when, in my daughter's case, it was a sign of dysphagia. From what you say here, I do think everything sounds normal; but if your mama instincts are pinging, it doesn't hurt to ask your doctor about it.

[theoldmommers]

Asiago, thank you so much for your thoughtful reply.  That information is so interesting and 15th % - well, yippee!

Thank you also, Mosaic.  I was pinging a little.  According to the charts at the ped she has always been around 30%.  Now I checked her weight at home and then looked it up on the good old internet and got below the 5th %, but they may be different charts, I'm now realizing.

[asraidevin]

It is super easy to make your own yogurt if you can only find fat free. All you need is a thermometer (meat or candy), a thermos and 2 TBSP of yogurt with active cultures. Heat milk to 185 F (to kill anything in it), let it cool to 115 F.  While it cools, you boil some water and dump it in the thermos. Add 2 TBSP yogurt to milk. Empty hot water from the thermos, dump in the milk. Cover and let sit at least 4 hours and up to 12 I think. The longer it sits the more tart it will be. You can reuse the leftover yogurt to make more a few more times but it will stop working eventually.

My son refused the spoon when I was trying to do baby cereals, because he knew it was tasteless glop. I gave up on purees at 9 months. No he will eat from a spoon on occasion for yogurt or cream of wheat.I try to give him as much finger food as I can.

i wouldn't worry about lack of weight gain. Once babies start moving and eating solids they are expected to slow down on growth.

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

Quote:

Originally Posted by HonkyTonka 

Is it possible that your babe is sensing your tension or stress about your desire for her to eat? Maybe try offering her a bunch of finger food she hasn't had before (omit ones you know she loves) on her tray while you do something else - like cooking. My LO loves black beans, chick peas, egg, and chunks of meat. She is sometimes a little shy with food if I'm hovering around her, but when left to amuse herself she eats. Just an idea...

I gave up trying to feed DD a while ago.  Now I just get a bunch of stuff, put it in a bowl, and then slowly spread it out in front of her as she eats.  I make sure the pieces are small enough for her to not choke on, but big enough so she can grasp it.  She loves all kinds of meat, all kinds of beans, pasta, rice, and pretty much every veggie and fruit we have put in front of her. I had very little success with purees, DD just wants to feed herself - so we go with it. 

[newmamalizzy]

DD is almost 11 months and hardly ate any solids until very recently, much as we tried.  She started out all self-feeding but got bored with "food as toy" since she couldn't really consume much that way.  She will accept being spoon-fed if I give her a toy, or if I just kind of follow her around with a spoon while she plays.  We get about 8 bites that way.  I think she does her best eating when she's finger fed solid (i.e. non-pureed) foods.  I give her bits of banana, sandwich, peeled grape...pretty much anything you would give as a finger food.  And, again, I do it while she plays.  She comes to me for a bite, then continues to play. 

BTW, cereal is a big hit in this house, too.  If they have similar tastes, the things DD likes best are:  Puffed rice and puffed wheat w/a little cinnamon sprinkled on it, rice cakes, thawed wild blueberries, peeled grape bits, cream cheese on wheat bread, and alphabet soup (low sodium chicken broth w/shredded carrot, potato, and alphabets). 

Good luck, and try not to stress about it!

[theoldmommers]

Hey, All.  Things have been going better.  I've really been able to relax thanks to all the input from you ladies - especially regarding volume!  I have tried jarred food when I don't have time to thaw out cubes or when we're at a play date and she does like them.  So it's good to have that in my back pocket.  Also, I've started to dip my finger in the food and offer that to her to start.  She seems to like that and opens her mouth for the spoon.  I've also started baby sign language, beginning with "all done"!  It's the only one she knows but if she signs it back to me when I think she's getting fed up I put the puree away and ask her if she wants some cereal.  I need to get moving on more finger foods, but I've yet to work that into my system.  I never get everyone eating at the same time, so I can't just give her bits of our stuff.

Work in progress...