Post-adoption home visit & co-sleeping.

[ChristyMarie]

We're not attached yet, we're cautiously optimistic but we do have to begin thinking about certain logistics and details since we might have a baby in a few months.

Question about co-sleeping and the post-placement home visit.  Can you have a crib side-car style? 

The bed in the nursery has a pillow top (there's also a crib in there).  I do not have a flat full-size mattress to put in there.  I do have a flat queen in another room which is what we slept on when DS was an infant.  But I don't want to do the sleep in one room and rocking chair-diaper-etc in another again.  I think a side-car situation is the solution but it will be a royal PITA to have to move it all for a home visit.

Side note...we won't have to move it when the expectant mom comes over to visit - she co-sleeps with the daughter she's parenting.  Said they never used the crib.  :)

[SundayCrepes]

It was obvious that we had no separate bed for our 2 year old when we did our homestudy. We were upfront with our case worker. She did ask for information I had that said co-sleeping was safe and positive. I gave her info from both James McKenna and William Sears. She is a very traditional, older, hispanic woman, but she was also open to all our crazy ideas (adoptive tandem nursing, homeschooling, co-sleeping, etc.) Your caseworker may or may not be so open minded.

[ChristyMarie]

My case worker is NOT open minded.  She's very traditional, very by the book.

[Polliwog]

I can't see how she'd have a problem with the crib being in your room.

[CrunchyChristianMama]

Originally Posted by Polliwog 

I can't see how she'd have a problem with the crib being in your room.

I agree.  I think even most mainstream parents room-in with baby at least for the first month or so.  They would probably be more concerned that at some point you did have a separate room that you could/would move the baby to when they were sleeping more at night.  Not that you actually have to move them there, but just that it's available.

[ChristyMarie]

I should clarify, this full bed in in the nursery - along with a crib.  I would move into there until she was ready to sleep on her own.

During our home study we had to show that the baby would have a room of their own.

Maybe I'll end up asking our attorney about our state laws on that.

[pumpkingirl71]

Originally Posted by ChristyMarie 

Side note...we won't have to move it when the expectant mom comes over to visit - she co-sleeps with the daughter she's parenting.  Said they never used the crib.  :)

I am probably personalizing too much, so forgive me if I cross the line!  This part of your post concerned me.  From the little you have told us about the birthmother, she should not be co-sleeping.  I just wanted to caution you about finding things in common with the birthmother and letting yourself believe that you are "on the same page."  I believe it is human nature to want to find common ground with people, but in my experience, finding common ground with a birthmother who is leading a troubled life has caused my daughter and I pain again and again.

 

No real advice about the crib though.  Sorry : (