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Traditional Catholic Moms Spring/Summer 2011 - Page 14

post #261 of 293

Congratulations, and my prayers are with your family and your little foster baby.  How incredibly difficult to have to let go to a terrible situation.

post #262 of 293

Congratulations on the new little one, Nicole!  Have you read Sheila Kippley's books on ecological breastfeeding?  I know a lot of AP mamas do a lot of that stuff anyway and get a year or more of breastfeeding amenorrhea, but if you haven't read them and even if you have and might like a refresher, I'd check them out for both the information and the inspiration.  I think it is an excellent way to mother, and it sounds like you could use the child spacing effects right now.

Originally Posted by LessTraveledBy View Post


After years of secondary infertility, I am shocked to say that I am pregnant.

Halleluia!!!  Praise the Lord!!!  Congratulations!!!!  I'll be praying for you as this story unfolds, but this itself is a miracle.  You have cocreated life, and that is such a blessing.


Sorry to hear things are so difficult with the fostering situation right now.  The whole foster care system has to walk a very fine, difficult line, and it's really sad when it looks like they're making a mistake.  It's Catholic teaching on subsidiarity in action, but it's so hard to decide objectively and fairly when birth parents have crossed the line and who would be best to raise a child.  Prayers for the whole situation.

post #263 of 293



I'm new here and not sure I'm in the right place, but hopefully will find a home on this thread.  I was raised nominally Catholic (we didn't even go on Christmas or Easter, and I was confirmed until I came back to the Church as an adult), became an atheist as a teenager, then spiritual/going to Catholic Church because I liked the liturgy/tradition but really not "buying it" in college and after, gradually becoming more serious about my faith over the next 5-10 years.  Currently, I'm still not as traditional as many of you seem to be, but I'm more traditional than most of the people I know at church.  I don't go to Latin mass (I like the Latin mass and have enough Latin that it's worthwhile, but it's hard to get to from here and it's more of an aesthetic than a feeling that it is more real than the ordinary form... plus DH wouldn't feel at all at home there), I don't cover... on the other hand, I don't use contraceptives and believe in modest dress, etc.  I am still apparently a work in progress redface.gif.


Anyway, it was wonderful reading all that's been going on in this thread.





post #264 of 293

Welcome, Anka!  We're all at varying degrees of Traditional as far as liturgy and covering are concerned.  We find common ground in all seeking to accept and understand all the teachings of the Magisterium and to support each other in living them out in our own lives.  Many of the mamas here have preferences for more traditional liturgy, but it sounds like you'd fit in just fine.

post #265 of 293

Congrats on the pregnancies and babies, ladies, and welcome to Anka, from another Novus Ordo mom wink1.gif

post #266 of 293
I'll post them here, too. carrot.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gif

Woo-hoo, LTB!!

And prayers for the LO you're looking after as well.
post #267 of 293
Originally Posted by theboysmama View Post

Our baby girl is here!!!

Saphira Arya June!!!

10/16/11 8lbs 10 oz 20 inches long.

I am in love and so relieved although not as relaxed as I had hoped. Really really hard to trust Gods plan when it is in regards to the lives of your children.


As far as family planning dh and I have really really struggled with this. I am hoping that my breastfeeding amennoriah (sp?) will last a yr as is typical for me and give us some time. My dh has some issues (that he is aware of but not really working on) that make abstaining very challenging. Using NFP has not proven to be very good for our marriage and causes a lot of stress, etc. I absolutely will not do anything permanent to my body, it is so hard. I am hoping the lord will really speak to DH and help him with his challenges and frustrations with NFP. 

We really do have grave reason to avoid adding children to our family so it is just about figuring out how to prevent pregnancy (at least at this time). Dh is disabled so doesn't work outside the home, his work in the home is limited to how he is feeling, we have found it is the best for our family for me not to work outside of the home so that leaves very very little money to live on. Dh is exhausted and in pain which gives him very little patience and energy and we have 5 children so that is definately a challenge.  I have appreciated this thread and the support that I have gotten in the past on this matter.



Congrats to your family!  You may find the Marquette method might suit you.  I am impressed with Dr. Fehring's research on NFP during breastfeeding, and the monitor may give your dh the reassurance he needs to be confident in the method.  Prayers for your discernment.  


post #268 of 293

Welcome, Anka!  I am in a similar place as you.  Like the pp, I believe that by calling ourselves "traditional" we are seeking to mold ourselves to the teachings of the Church, rather than straining against them.  Aren't we all works in progress? :)

post #269 of 293
We do practice ecological breastfeeding and the spacing of my children is about 2yrs. I hav not read those books and will look into it. I know we hav about a yr to figure out NFP, etc before I get pg again so hoping that is the case this time. Ecological breastfeeding is great but we ar maxed out at this point and I am 36 so probably have another 10 yrs or so till menopause and a baby every 2 yrs or so would be another 5 kids or even more pregnancies if my loss history continues. I have already been pg 9x in 10 yrs and my body is pretty tired. Financially we barely can take care of the 5 we have, adding 5 more would be insane unless our situation changes and we could address it at that point.

I will look into the Marquette method, Ty.

Ltb- congrats! Prayers headed your way!


Just a fun fact. Most of you know how nervous I was this pg. I prayed for st girards intersession regularly. Dd2 was born on oct 16, the feast day of st girard.
Edited by theboysmama - 10/24/11 at 7:02pm
post #270 of 293
Thread Starter 

The Marquette method requires the use of a fertility monitor.  The specific brand they give is the ClearBlue Easy monitor- which runs about $200.  The test sticks are about $20-30 per package.


It is a fantastic version of NFP.  I just wanted to give you the out-of-pocket expenses upfront so you and your hubby would know :-)

post #271 of 293



we use the symptamo thermal method mostly, but currently LAM (not really a candidate for ecological breastfeeding due to work).  I love NFP.  One thing I wish people knew about NFP is how positive an effect it has on life in general.  I feel like when you think of it just as a method of birth control, people miss a lot of the benefit.  Before we got married, we had a plan.  We were going to wait two years to have a baby to let us settle in and for career reasons.  I started charting a few months before we got married so we wouldn't accidentally have a kid because I didn't know what I was doing.  Anyway, one day I was sitting there at work thinking to myself -- Wow!  I'm ovulating now!  I could have a baby!  And immediately thought -- No!  That's not the plan.  The next month the same thing happened and the same the month after.  The fourth month, we were married and I was really excited because I had that same feeling of "Wow!  Right now, if we wanted to, we could have a baby!"  I told my husband that, and we decided that we really did want to be open to having a baby.  We concieved and have been very blessed in our son. 


The other side of things is I'm starting to hear a lot of things that worry me about the culture of contraception.  For example, one of my coworkers, a physician in training, got pregnant and told her program director so he could adjust the schedule to accomidate her maternity leave.  He was horrified and asked her "How did this happen!?!"  She was really upset afterwards and asked me what I would have said.  I told her, probably something snarky like "Well, it all started when I had sex with my husband."  What she had done was basically detail how she had forgotten to take her pill because she was working over 100 hours per week.  It was horrible that something that should be happy news was received instead with almost an accusation and, still worse, that she had so internalized it that she felt guilty about it.  Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is the sexual revolution wasn't all it was advertised to be, huh?


As far as marital tension around sex, I think that happens in contracepting families, too -- hence the old jokes about faking a headache.



post #272 of 293


Very good points!  I am so sick of the contraception culture.  Every time we get pregnant, DH's "Catholic" family ask, "Don't you know what causes that?"  It's ridiculous.

post #273 of 293

I have never posted on this thread because I have not been active in the church since I had dd but I am in need of thoughts, guidance, etc. so I would love to hear your thoughts.


My daughter will be entering kindergarten next and I am strongly considering sending her to a Catholic school.  I am a cradle Catholic and went to went to Catholic school k-12 then in college began questioning my faith and shortly before conception of dd entered into a Landings Program geared toward those who had lost there way and were interested in coming back to the faith.  Honestly that program forever changed my life, I opted to have my dd and leave her abusive dad (all with the guidance of my priest) but I still had questions about the Catholic church ---- mostly the sexual teachings, the role of women in the Church and of course the horrible sexual abuse scandals.


My daughter (currently 4 years old) has only recently has be introduced to the faith due to a custody battle that prevented it until now.  My daughter not being able to attend Mass, Sunday school, etc. prevented me from going since there is only me to care for her and immediately after the court order granting me full custody I had her baptised but I have not completely felt 100% comfortable diving in to heavily exposing the faith to her because of my lingering questions about the church (mentioned above) then........ I toured a local independent Catholic school.


What I love about the local Catholic school is that is offers a solid basis for a values-centered life.  And as a single mom with my daughter's dad completely out of the picture a safe loving community is so critical for both myself and my daughter.  My 1st choice Catholic school is amazing.  Small class of 18 students per with one teacher and an aid in kindergarten, floating aids for other grades, a beautiful library that is open during recess, lunch, and after-school in addition to the library visits the class takes.  Additional classes with specialist teachers including Science, Art, Computers, Music/Drama, Spanish & PE all starting in Kindergarten.  The school has two computer and two science labs fully stocked and iPads in every classroom.  Those are just the bells and whistles though........ what sold me on the school was the prayer from the Headmaster before we even went on the tour.  I love the fact that I would be able to openly call Christmas what is truly is instead of feeling the need to be politically correct.  It was the Catholic aspect that made me love the school.  But it is making me questions so much, for example:


Is this God's way to bring me back active in the church?

Is teaching my daughter the Catholic faith meaning I am also teaching her to not accept others?  (i.e. those of other faiths will burn in hell)

What about the concerns that I have had that seem to still plague the Church?  Am I a hypocrite to love aspect of the Catholic faith and potentially raised my daughter Catholic but still questions other aspects of the church?

Why do I have this strong intuition that that school is the right one for my family? 



Just wondering if anyone else ---- like me or not ---- is considering sending their children to Catholic school and how it's going.  I know my daughter will thrive there I am just nervous at the same time though.  Has anyone felt conflicted like this?


post #274 of 293

Welcome, LoveOhm!


What I have to say is very counter-cultural, and may not be what you are ready to hear. ;)  Several years ago, I became very disillusioned with the evangelical brand of faith I had grown up with.  There were a selection of teachings which ran counter to my understanding of Scripture and it brought me to a realization that if I believed in God, He was bigger than me.  How am I, as a human, to decide that I have full understanding of what is true and right and Biblical, all on my own?  I found that the Proverbs themselves warn us against "leaning on our own understanding."  And I knew that God must have left us a way to really know what is truth, since He is Truth.  The short version, is that I came to the conclusion that Christ established a Church, and that Church is still in existence in the Catholic Church.  There were many things I didn't understand and that were very different from the faith I was brought up in.  I approached each item with the attitude that God had preserved truth in the Church, and that I could learn to understand these hard teachings.  I know that the teachings of the Church have been debated, examined and analyzed in the minutest detail by brains far more capable than mine.  When I examined them from that point of view, leaving behind my preconceptions, I found wisdom and logic.  Your journey is not the same as mine, but I hope that you will give the Church a second chance and really examine the teachings you are struggling with.  You might find there is more to them than face value.  



post #275 of 293

Hi LoveOhm,


It sounds like God is doing wonderful things in your life!  I'll keep you in my prayers as you discern, with the help of the Holy Spirit who is Wisdom for us all, the best place for your daughter.   I was away from the Church for a long time, and as I came back, kind of like you, I went through a really difficult period where I was struggling with some of what the Church teaches, especially with regard to abortion, contraception, women's roles, and homosexuals.  The best advice I can give is to give yourself time and space to pray and study on these issues, while at the same time not letting any of the "hot topic issues" cloud your relationship with Jesus and the Church.  Faith is something we grow into, something we understand into, something we pray into.  For most of us it isn't something that comes all at once.  Going to mass, confession, adoration are all gifts that God gives us to help us while we're in that space before certaintly.




post #276 of 293



Our parish has started educating us about the new changes to the Mass.  I was wondering what everyone here thinks about it?  I'm having a really hard time with the changes.  I'm trying to enter into the new translation with an open heart and mind, but change is difficult for me.  I know they're trying to be more faithful to the Latin, but it just seems like bad English. 


Please pray for me.



post #277 of 293
Originally Posted by AnkaJones View Post



Our parish has started educating us about the new changes to the Mass.  I was wondering what everyone here thinks about it?  I'm having a really hard time with the changes.  I'm trying to enter into the new translation with an open heart and mind, but change is difficult for me.  I know they're trying to be more faithful to the Latin, but it just seems like bad English. 


Please pray for me.



We can't debate this here, so I will point you to a good discussion in RS: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1314629/textual-changes-to-the-roman-missal-coming-first-sunday-of-advent


post #278 of 293

Thanks Trigger.  Sorry to everyone else for posting an inappropriate topic.  I'm new, but a little baffled as to why we can't discuss this here?  It looks like the other thread was a discussion among more progressive voices (which I also think are important)... I was just wondering what the more traditional Catholic ladies think.  I'm having a hard time with this in part because it seems to be causing a lot of arguement within the heirarchy itself, almost bishop against bishop, and I can't honestly read it and say "Oh, but it's beautiful!".  KWIM?  I'm trying to come to peace with it.


Anyway, again, sorry for posting something that this thread isn't for.




post #279 of 293

The spirituality forum is specifically for support only while the religious studies forum is the place for respectful debate.  Sometimes, the line gets kinda blurry since it's OK to struggle some with beliefs here to some extent, but this thread is not designed to be a place to criticize Church authority.  A lot of times, it's a matter of how controversial a topic is.  If it's really controversial, it probably belongs in the RS forum, though to some extent, it's OK to ask controversial questions here to make sure that the answers that you get aren't going to stray too far from being in line with Catholic teaching.


I'm not sure you crossed a line, though do check out that thread that Trigger mentions.  It has a lot of perspectives from a diverse crowd along with debate of specific changes.  For me, it's an exercise in obedience.  I like trying to make what we say in English be more in line with the Latin and what everyone else is saying in their own languages to help connect us more to the universal Church.  Yes, that means some awkward wording at times, and some vocabulary expansion may be needed, but some things were lost in the translation we are currently using.  My own parish hasn't been using any of the new translation yet, but I have traveled a lot recently and seen parts being implemented in parishes that I have visited.  My feelings are that while I really like the idea, change is still hard.  Stumbling over saying the wrong thing is uncomfortable.  I see it as really an exercise in the virtue of obedience.  I'm not sure that this new translation is perfect yet, but it's an act of obedience to continue to use the current translation for the next month, and it's an act of obedience to use the new translation in a month.  Change is hard, but if it is what those with God-given authority over us are asking of us, then it is a virtue to obey.

post #280 of 293
Originally Posted by JMJ View Post
 I like trying to make what we say in English be more in line with the Latin and what everyone else is saying in their own languages to help connect us more to the universal Church.  Yes, that means some awkward wording at times, and some vocabulary expansion may be needed, but some things were lost in the translation we are currently using. 

I think that sums it up perfectly. You are struggling, not really because of the new translation, but due to the errors in the old one. Not your fault at all, that the decisions made years ago we not good ones... Yet, I do think that it should be a joyful occasion to finally have it right, at least to some extent. Meanwhile, yes, change can be hard.

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