What I learned from my homebirth, and the time leading up to it, is that this is the time to listen to your gut and intuition. Sifting through fears is part of the process, but eventually, it's time to own your power as a birthing woman and stand in your truth. That doesn't mean you necessarily have to tell the truth of all the details of a homebirth plan to others. On the contrary, it might mean little white lies to get the result you want. But make your intentions clear to yourself at least, and the baby, and obstacles may start to clear the way for what you want. Don't let your decision come from your hubby, as important as his feelings are, he needs to trust YOU on this one. I think many men are uncomfortable about birth no matter what the circumstances, simply because they can't relate and can't control it. They are better able to understand and trust the machines in the hospital than the 'mysterious' forces of a woman's body.
This time last year, I knew 100% that I wanted a homebirth, but had almost zero confidence that it was going to happen because it was a VBAC. So the approach I took was what I'd call 'non-attachment': to plan for the best, but stay prepared for any direction the birth might take with an open heart. I literally walked every day and said to myself, 'I am open to everything this pregnancy and birth has to offer.' So NOT TRUE when I first started saying it, but eventually my mind started to accept it the more I did it! I would also say to the baby, 'I'm doing everything I can to give you the most natural birth possible. Please help me do that for you.' I proceeded planning for a homebirth AND and left myself the option of the hospital should I want or need it. I had parallel visits with my CPM and OB (without telling the OB), did intensive yoga, hypnosis and Birthing From Within classes to release my fears, massage and chiropractic care, and kept the hb plans a secret from all unsupportive family and friends to protect my emotional state (I always had vague answers and then changed the subject). I thought I didn't need a doula, but after interviewing the first one, I loved her so much I hired her right there. She was worth the money just to have someone to talk to who was positively giddy excited about my birth! ICAN meetings were also a great place to talk to successful homebirth mamas.
In the end, I could not have imagined a more perfect labor and birth. 9 hours total, and I thought the first 6 were Braxton HIcks. My son was born under water in the bathtub, and I was surrounded by love and the most amazing energy I've ever felt in my life. Afterward, I was so happy to not need to fight for my rights or worry who was asking to take my baby to nusery this time - I could just be in my own bed. By the way, I was also GBS positive, but my midwife explained that doucing with Hibiclens was more effective than the IV antibiotics.
Sending you positive, happy birthing thoughts...
that bolded statement is SO true!!
for your reply. You're right. I think I"m letting my mind try to overrule my gut because of something Im not sure of. I think I'm going to take a pp's advice and go to the midwife I like and see my OB as her "backup". that way the only thing I need to "hope" for, is that I dont deliver more than a couple days before my EDC.