Still an all night paci....once again asking for help!!

[kdescalzi]

Hi mamas,

I have already posted this before but have had no real advice or tips to help. I truly believe I am the only mama on this planet who has this problem. NO ONE seems to know where I am coming from!! My dd is 21mo and still needs to have my nipple in her mouth all night long. If I move to pee she wakes up and cries for me. She is attached to me for 10 hours every night and I am so done with this. I do not want to fully wean and I do not want to stop co-sleeping. The Dr. Gordon method seems to make the most sense to me except that his schedule doesn't address my situation. There is no nursing and rolling over....she absolutely flips out if she can't be nursing. No, she will not take a paci at night. Again, seeking any advice or tips. I simply refuse to CIO like so many people tell me to do.

[newbiemama09]

wowzers. that doesn't leave much time for yourself! DD also is a constant sucker at night, but we've been able to get her a paci and she does fine. have you tried different types of pacifiers? the smaller nipple, larger nipple? one of those soothies? maybe it's the transition of nipple to paci that startles your kiddo awake. i'll take my nipple out with one finger and right away offer a paci and DD cries out a bit, but then falls back asleep.

also how are you getting your child to sleep? nursing in bed? nursing in a rocker? maybe a change in bedtime routine would help to sleep differently. we used to not be able to put DD down in her crib, only in bed because she would scream being transitioned, until literally one day she just did it. now we can get her in her own crib, with a paci at night.

[Greenlea]

Do you nurse her to bed? And if you do, do you nurse her to sleep?  If so, try nursing her until she's still awake but almost asleep.  She needs to learn to soothe herself.  I'm sure if will take some time and patience on your part though.  Also, you just have to deal with the crying and screaming for a week or so until she gets used to not having you as a paci.  I'm sure at this age she doesn't need to night time feedings so after that last nurse before bed just don't offer the breast or let her have it.  Soothe her in other ways like singing, patting her back, etc.  I run my fingers through my 2 yo's hair to help him fall back asleep.

[kdescalzi]

Thank you for the replies!! To answer your question....Dh puts dd down for the night by rocking,singing, and bouncing. She does not need to nurse to sleep, but once she wakes after initially bedtime she needs to have my nipple in her mouth. It is really crazy!! Any other tips would be greatly appreciated

[LadyCatherine185]

((hugs)) mama.. i think you have 2 options--

1. keep letting her and deal with it until she stops on her own or

2. try to change it (via jay gordon, etc) and expect her to cry a bit before she "gets it" and starts sleeping better.. but know that it is not CIO if you are there to offer comfort other than the breast

[Agatha_Ann]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185 

((hugs)) mama.. i think you have 2 options--

1. keep letting her and deal with it until she stops on her own or

2. try to change it (via jay gordon, etc) and expect her to cry a bit before she "gets it" and starts sleeping better.. but know that it is not CIO if you are there to offer comfort other than the breast

CIO involves leaving her alone to scream herself to exhaustion and helplessness. You laying there with her and offering comfort and support is not the same thing. I think if you do not want her to cry at all you are looking more at the first option above. Making a change in her life for the betterment of your family will probably involve some crying and probably a rough few nights, but that doesn't mean you are letting her CIO.

[sacredpresence]

OP, what do you mean Dr. Gordon's schedule doesn't work for your situation? 

I think maybe your DH will have to help or even take over night time parenting for a while until she breaks the sucking association. 

Have you tried sleeping in another room while DD sleeps with your DH for  a while?  Will she accept comfort from him?  I know my DD will not accept comfort from me if she wants to nurse, but will sometimes let DH comfort her at night.

Maybe when she wakes at night, have DH take her to the kitchen and offer her a sippy of water or something, then comfort her back to sleep in whatever way he likes.  There may be a few tears, and it might be rough on DH for a week or so, but she can get used to a new habit.

Like Dr. Gordon says, talk to her for several nights that soon num-nums will go night night too and she will have to wait till morning to nurse.  Explain to her in detail how the sun will go down and she will wake up and it will not be time to nurse yet, but when the sun comes up she can nurse again.  Dr. Gordon says there may be some tears as you try to change the routine, but as long as you are there offering comfort, she will be ok.

I feel for you!  Let us know what you decide.