Anyone regret their VBAC?

[teeg1973]

I went to say from the start that I am very pro-VBAC, please don't misunderstand my post....  *Warning*  Scary birthing experience mentioned....

Just wondering if there is anyone else that has been in my position in regretting having gone through with a VBAC?.  A bit of background.  DD1 was born 9/2006 and after several days of hard labor (I was fine, babe was fine so docs respected my birth plan and let me keep going), but never fully dilating we ended up with the c-section.  I imagine it was a combo of positioning and size that wasn't letting her come out....she emerged with large hematomas on her head and in her eyes from all the pushing trying to come out.  I had planned for a natural childbirth with hypnobabies, doula etc... and felt very prepared for everything.  Obviously I was disappointed with how things turned out, but really can't think of much I could have done differently.

Fastforward.....After DD1's birth, I always assumed I would have a VBAC....I ended up having 3 losses between DD1 and DD2 (and one before DD!).  All of these were missed miscarriages and ended up with D and C's after a few weeks of nothing happening.  Finally was able to get and stay pregnant with DD2 with the use of heparin (neither here nor there, just pointing out it took a lot to get her here!).  Anyway, due to the prior losses and being high risk, I had decided to go with an RCS even though it was something I never in my wildest dreams thought I would do.....it just felt like that was what was supposed to happen.  DD2 was scheduled for 12/27....the other option would have been for 12/23, but I wanted to be home for x-mas.  Well, my water broke on 12/23 and on a whim we decided to go forward with the VBAC since everything seemed to be progressing normally.  After all, DD was deciding what date she wanted to be born on!  This time around I did dilate to 10, but then nothing was happening...for hours.  I had an epi, but it was only working on one side. We tried pushing, but she was still high.  An ultrasound revealed she was posterior, which explained why she wasn't coming and why I was having such excruciating back pain.  Eventually the doc said we could try the vacuum for 3 pushes or go ahead with the section.  We opted for the vacuum since we were so close (don't recommend it).  Baby was finally born, although it took the vacuum, people pushing on my stomach and an episiotomy.  We thought we were in the clear with a VBAC victory......Long story short, after more than an hour the placenta had still not fully come out.  They started a D and C right there in L&D, but I was losing too much blood.  Ended up that I had placenta increta where the placenta had grown into the uterus.  They had to do an emergency hysterectomy to stop the bleeding and save my life.

Now, if I had gone ahead with the c-section we would have likely had the same outcome with the hysterectomy, but we would have already been in an operating room with blood products on hand and everything would have been a lot less chaotic.  Additionally, I wouldn't have the epsiotomy, hemmorhoids and such to deal with that I had not had prior!  I am also a bit miffed at the docs for not having been more prepared for complications with a VBAC.

So has anyone else had a less than ideal outcome or am I alone in this?  Thankfully we are both alive, which is most important...

Tracy

[labortrials]

I don't have anything relevant to add; just wanted you to know that I'm sorry about how that all happened to you.  Sounds quite traumatic.  Hugs!!

[TxMominCT]

I am so sorry you had this experience! I wish it could have gone better for you. I had a great hospital VBAC, however, I showed up to L&D completely dialated! I do have a few things to point out from your experience as an L&D nurse, hopefully it might make you feel better, if not ignore them! My intentions is just to help with your synthesizing of this experience! I have had several patients regret VBACing,they usually had a nice scheduled c/s the first time for breech, or twins, etc. then went through an exhausting long induction/labor, with a big tear, which felt to them like a much harder recovery, so you are not alone!!! As far as the placenta increta, that is not a complication of a VBAC, it probably had a lot more to do with your D&C's, than your c/s scar. Bleeding associated with an increta is an obstetrical emergency and is very rare, even with a c-section it is super scary, and while you may have felt less of the chaos, it would have still been there! I might question the MD for not trying to more strongly counsel you against VBACing because of your past uterine surgeries. (all the D&C's) Basically after your experience it is perfectly fine to feel it would have been nicer to not have the side effects of vaginal delivery along with major abdominal surgery! Who would want both!! You can still be a big advocate for VBAC even if your UNIQUE situation would have been better with a RCS! Most women are talked into a RCS for no reason, or are given their first C/S for no good reason! Thank goodness this isn't the case for you! Hope the healing process goes well for you, and I hope you were still able to breastfeed, after all that blood loss it is a challenge!

[TxMominCT]

I also forgot to say, that yes it's WONDERFUL you are both still alive, but it is NORMAL to have unsettled feelings about the birth, or to be flat out upset about it. I struggled with that for a long time after my C-section. You are not being selfish, or taking y'all's lives for granted, these are just normal natural feelings you have to get through!