Tactile Defensiveness

[Shannie77]

My daughter is a very spirited little girl and has been happy but high needs child since birth.  She will be 4 in May.  She is very extroverted, social and full of beans. ;)  She however has had some things that keep me up at night.

She basically had a rash or one form or another since she was an infant.  We saw a ND who did a test and it came back she is very sensitive to gluten, dairy and eggs.  From what I can tell she only gets rash symptoms if she has had a few days of being off the wagon.  She has been an extremely poor sleeper from the beginning.  There were times she was up screaming all night, and other times she was simply up and wouldn't go back to sleep.  We co-sleep and I nurse her at night still.

Which brings me to the tactile thing.  She has always gotten naked as soon as we come home, and will NOT wear PJS to bed.  If she happens to fall asleep with them on she will wake up irritated and take them off.  It doesn't matter what the material is.  Lately it has gotten worse.  At night she is kicking and getting very irritated about the covers, and my PJs touching her.  It drives me nuts because I NEED covers to sleep, and I don't like feeling cold.  In her carseat she cries and cries about 80% of the time that her shirt is bothering her.  No matter how much I smooth it out she goes crazy.  Now she is insisting on being top naked in the car seat (it is COLD here!).  She is also funny about sticky hands.  When she is gluing (which she loves) she will usually wash her hands a few times.  If we are in the car and she eats something that might leave her hands even a little bit sticky she has a meltdown.  She doesn't like turtle necks, she talks a fair bit about how things feel.  "Let me feel mommy... oh that is nice and soft" etc.

Other than that she is fine.  I can brush her hair, she will walk on all sorts of surfaces, we do tons of art that uses her hands that don't bother her.  She is extremely coordinated and has always been ahead on her motor skills.

When I went through the list of SPD symptoms, really the only other thing that stood out is that she CAN be sensitive to noise.  We went through a phase were if she was feeling grouchy and she found a noise too loud she would have a huge meltdown.   But that seems to of passed. (

My husband has always been funny about fleece and socks... and after asking more questions he was one of those kids that went crazy about tags, seams in socks etc.

Anyways I don't even think I would of looked up TD if DDs meltdowns weren't causing me so much stress.  I did go and read through "The Out of Sync Child" but it didn't really seem to be that helpful for us.  A lot of the ideas were things DD is fine with already.  I am not even sure DD is TD but I was hoping some BTDT mom's might have some advice for us in terms of dealing with DD's meltdowns.

[Shannie77]

No one? Tonight she had a 90 minute meltdown about the covers on the bed and my pjs touching her. .

[Emmeline II]

I'd get an evaluation by an OT experienced in sensory issues. I've seen posts with websites for clothes that are seamless/tagless/certain materials; perhaps if you do a search on this board for "clothes" and those threads would come up.

As for cosleeping, I nightweaned my second at 3yo and put her in her own room. It had gotten to the point where what I needed for sleep and what she wanted were way out of sync--one issue was the covers. And my left hip was really sore after sleeping on my left side for nearly years! You could try putting a separate bed next to yours, but if she is still nursing at night then you would still have the covers/pj issue.

Depending on how desperate you are you might consider an auto-starter for your car; not that cheap but it could make things easier by getting the car warm before you take her outside, while you are working on the topless-in-winter issue.

[KimPM]

Do you have a Wilbarger brush?  Doing the brushing protocol has helped my DS tolerate textures. 

Also, can you figure out what is specifically wrong with the clothes -- is it the tags, the seams, the material (polyester vs. cotton, etc), any designs that cause an unusual texture on the inside of the PJs?  Have you identified any clothing that she does tolerate?

I wonder if tight-fitting but stretchy clothes would be better, because looser ones brush the skin in odd places, which can be uncomfortable.  I know because I have this problem myself.  Yes, I was one of "those kids" having trouble with seams, tags, and socks.  It seems there might be a genetic component to this kind of thing.  At least your DH can understand and sympathize if he has similar issues.

If she's 4, she can understand making a choice...she may either either deal with the covers at night, or she can't sleep next to you (perhaps in the same room though, but on her own mattress) so she won't have to deal with the covers.  Maybe you could take her clothes shopping and have her help you pick out clothes that she would wear.  She could also identify any clothes you have at home that are okay as well. 

I've noticed that my DS's food sensitivities cause more texture issues with him.  Keeping him off the offending foods helps him tolerate textures a whole lot more.  It also helps lessen his meltdowns.  Sometimes the only indication of his problem with a food is not a rash, but behavior and/or sleeping issues.

Therapy that works with her to guide her through touching things that perhaps she is uncomfortable with could help her to tolerate things better.  If you need help, contact an OT who can do this kind of therapy.  It can be done as play therapy, and doesn't have to be overwhelming for her.  But helping her slowly become tolerant of some textures could help alot.

HTH!

[BeantownBaby9]

DS is very much like your daughter.  Lots of food allergies and tactile defensiveness.  NO BLANKETS!  Only hard hugs, no soft light touching.  The biggest helps for us are taking a plyo ball and rolling it on his back and backsides of legs, laying on him throughout the day as he asks for it, "making brownies" on his back, and a little bit of skin brushing.  My theory is that food allergies put these kids' nervous systems out of whack and thus the sensory piece is common.