Problems w/ NIP

[lkvosu]

I'm not sure why, but NIP rarely works for us.  Ds is 4 months and we've only NIP a handful of times because he never seems comfortable.  He'll take a few sips but mostly he fusses and squirms.  We always use a nursing pillow at home so I'm wondering if he's used to that and doesn't like not having one.  I've tried rolling up blankets, etc., to create a little pillow but it hasn't helped.  Another thing it could be is MY insecurity with it.  Like maybe he's picking up on my anxiety (he's an all around sensitve kid.  very sensitive to his environment).  It seems that we have more success when we have a certain degree of privacy (not necessarily bathroom stall type privacy but like a distant bench with few people around), but I can't tell if it's for his benefit or mine.  I know it sounds crazy that my little baby might prefer a private, quiet place to eat but like I said, he is quite sensitive and he seems to prefer a slower pace in life.  Another obstacle for us is my breasts - they are really big.  The last nursing bra I bought was a 34 H. It's so hard to be discreet when my boobs are bigger than his head! Not to mention the difficulty I've had finding nursing clothes because of it. 

I don't know what the problem is but I want it to be better.  I feel so restricted because of it.  I want to go out and do things with him for longer than an hour at a time.  I want the same freedom I've seen other nursing moms have with their babies. 

Any suggestions, advice...anything?

[sosurreal09]

I think he can defintely pick up on your anxiety. I was nervous NIP when I first had DD b/c I have double D breasts (nothing compared to you!) and DH was insecure about me NIP so it made me feel weird. I just got over it one day...I know that is not much help!

Would it be impossible to nurse in a carrier?

Congratulations mama!

[Adaline'sMama]

I know when DD was that young we would usually NIP in a Moby wrap. She felt really close and secure and she would nurse while I walked around. If your LO is used to a nursing pillow, he may need a more snug feeling while nursing, and a wrap is a good solution for that. I have large breasts and I found it diffucult to use a lot of the nursing tanks and bras (it was hard to get my boob back in, so I wound up just popping out). As soon as I stopped trying so hard to keep myself covered and just stopped caring if anyone saw, it was cake.

[PatioGardener]

How about setting up a situation at home, and NIP at home in front of a mirror (or on camera, if your partner will take a video of you) - that way you get used to it, and when you see the video or mirror you can see what you look like to others. This was a HUGE confidence booster to a good friend of mine who realized that she looked 'normal' while NIP!

[MamaPhD]

I would try to find places that are not so "public" to NIP first.  When DD was small (3-4 months), my favorite places were nursing lounges in BabyGAP or BabysRUs or women's lounges in department stores.  You can really get quiet and comfy and even though you are NIP, you are not so in public like a restaurant or a bench on a street.  Dressing rooms in any clothing store works well, too.

Also have you thought of getting a cover like a Bebe Au Lait type of thing?  I really liked mine because it helped me feel more secure plus it shielded DD from getting too distracted by the world, especially at that age.  Also you don't really need "nursing" clothes then, cuz the cover will cover you up pretty good. 

It will get easier gradually like anything.  Keep practicing & good luck!

[kythe]

Do you have a local LLL? I nursed in front of others for the first time at an LLL meeting. I was very nervous even there, but the other moms were helpful and let me know when I was able to get the baby latched on correctly without "showing" anything during the entire process.

My second baby had latch problems, and tended to draw attention to himself by being quite loud while nursing. I learned to nurse him in the sling and used the "tail" for a cover, without even having to remove him from the sling. I had a Maya Wrap ring sling, which seems to have fallen out of favor in recent years. I'm not sure why though, I loved mine. It was a great sling and it doubled as a blanket to cover ds when he was noisy.

[KristyDi]

Originally Posted by PatioGardener 

How about setting up a situation at home, and NIP at home in front of a mirror (or on camera, if your partner will take a video of you) - that way you get used to it, and when you see the video or mirror you can see what you look like to others. This was a HUGE confidence booster to a good friend of mine who realized that she looked 'normal' while NIP!

I think this is a good suggestion.  

If you're more comfortable nursing in a semi-secluded place, that's ok.  While I was getting comfortable with NIP, I used to seek out places that were out of the way, but not totally hidden, to nurse.   A bench kind of in a corner, a table near the wall so I could sit at the table facing the wall etc.  As my confidence grew, the places got less secluded till I was comfortable pretty much anywhere.

I have the same issue with big boobs.  I'm down to a 40 F now, but right after birth I was around a G.  Here is a video I made of how I nursed DD in public.  This was when DD was around 10 months old so we had been practicing for a while and were pretty comfortable with NIP.  The hand you can't see is supporting my boob and has a finger hooked in the hem of my shirt ready to cover my nipple when she pops off.  Maybe it can give you some ideas that might work for you.  

[BrennaRawks]

I'm currently rockin' 50 G so I know what you mean about NIP being challenging in that regard. My boob is about 3x the size of my daughter's head!

I found what helped us was 1) using a cover so that dd wasn't distracted by all the action and 2) using my messenger style baby bag as a nursing pillow. She felt more supported that way.

[sosurreal09]

I frikin hate covers and would never tell a woman to cover up b/c it bothers me so many woman feel they "have to" but if it's for your personal comfort and LO doesn't mind (which they may some day) and you feel that's what you need to do go for it. The important thing is that the decision is yours. Do whatever you need to to feel at ease while NIP.

[katelove]

I second (third?) the suggestion of feeding in front of a mirror. I wear a 32H and, when I looked down at myself while l was feeding it looked like there was bosom mushrooming out everywhere. Then I happened to feed J sitting on the bedroom floor in front of the mirror one day and I was surprised that the view from the other side is completely different. There was much less bosom on display than it seemed from my perspective.

It may be an age thing too. 4 months was about the age J started getting very distractable during feeds. And it was worse while we were out of course because there was more to see and it was all new. 

And yes, I would say the pillow may have something to do with it. If he's used to it all the time at home then it will feel different without. Would it be possible to do some of the at home feeds without the pillow? Just so he can learn to expect variety.