Birth Fears

[indiegirl]

With my past two births, I came away from each with a different set of lessons and fears to work on.

With Violet, I had to learn to trust other people again because I didn't feel my birth was managed well. I had to learn to trust my body and trust that I could do it.

With Zoe, I had trust for my providers and for myself--most of the time. I really think it was a healing birth for me. After she was born she had some trouble breathing and it was scary (well, scary for my dh. I was not scared at the time). My husband was really traumatized by her birth and I think that will be a big issue for us with sprout.

With sprout, I will be birthing in a birthing center--somethign I've never done. I had two homebirths with my girls. I don't know how that adjustment will be, and I'm a little worried. And although I know I can handle the emotional and physical intensity of another birth, I am not ready at this point and have some major work to do to get there.

[indiegirl]

33 views and NO ONE has anything they are working on for their birth?

--or is this a boring topic?--

[jecaly]

well, i can speak for me: i don't really have any birth fears, because i've been looking forward to giving birth to a person i get to keep for a really long time. my fears are mostly about getting to hang on to this pregnancy, for now. in another half-year or so i'll probably be mulling over the nitty gritty a lot more, though!

i like that we get nine months to figure out all this stuff.

*j

[momsgotmilk4two]

Well, last night I had an awful dream that I was at the hospital and the nurse physically took my baby from me and forced it to eat formula with a syringe. I tried to take her hand away, but she pulled back. The weird this is, my last birth was pretty good in that regard. The nurses were all nice and no one pushed formula on me.

The thing I need to work on I guess, is my being upset about having ds taken from me for a couple of hours last time. The plan was to not have him leave my arms from the moment he was born, but he had shoulder dystocia and a shortage of nurses in maternity and they insisted on taking him to the nursery for 2 hours to observe He was absolutely fine after getting just a bit of oxygen but they still took him. At least I got to nurse him first. Other than that, I had a great birth last time.

[AmandasMom]

Sorry hon, I viewed the post but didn't reply because I learned from last time that "best laid plans" don't work for me. This time I'm just going with the flow and see what happens. I know if I plan out my VBAC to a T, that something might happen like last time and it won't happen, so rather then set my self up for disappointment, I'm just taking everything as it comes and hope for the best

[scheelimama]

Well, last time, my biggest fear was losing my baby; everything from miscarriage in the beginning to stillbirth to SIDS. This time, I'm not nearly as worried about that, but when I first found out I was pregnant, the first thing I remember was the pain. The pain of giving birth. I don't tolerate pain well, but we don't want any interventions or meds. Last time, I wasn't worried about the pain b/c I really had no idea what to expect and figured I could handle it. This time, I remember, and though I know I can handle it, it was not easy. I guess I'm a bit worried about that. That's all really. Oh, and worried about how bringing another child into our family will affect us all.

[melmosmom]

my biggest fears are..

h;lh

[Friendlymama]

That's easy, with homebirth I'm worried about: Cord prolapse (or severe entanglement) and hemmorage. I didn't have a problem with the former, but I did with the latter during my first labor.

It wasn't a severe hemorage, but I did get a shot of hemabate in my thigh. I worry that it could happen again, and what if it's worse and the pitocin/hemabate isn't enough to stop it.

With cord problems, I just worry that the baby could get stuck and have trouble breathing or be brain damaged from oxygen deprivation. Is that a silly fear? I know that lots of babies are born with the cord around their necks, (and it's not a problem) but what if it's around my baby's neck multiple times, or around another body part and the neck?

[Attached_Mom_to_7]

With all my children, they were born in the hospital. Number 8 has to be there too

But, that does'nt set aside any fears I've ever had either. I'm meeting with a new midwife practice today and it means a different hospital as well,I was reassured by her that they offer rooming in,as that was my fear from the last hospital--always trying to take my babe for"observation" for no reason whatsoever!

I'm also dealing with the placenta issue I have for the time being. We are hoping it does move up!!! So I don't have to have a section,thats my BIGGEST fear right there! I've never had one, only 7 vaginal births.

[MonkeyPrincess]

With all my births, I was so afraid of a cesarean. One reason of many is I get claustrophobic and just know I would freak out and have major panic attacks from being tied down and not being able to see anything because of the drape. Plus the idea of surgery, recovery, complications. I couldn't handle it.

Other than that, I have a more specific fear related to each pregnancy. With my first, I *knew* how it was going to happen, but really didn't know what to expect, so I guess it was fear of the unknown.

With my second, I was afraid of having a birth like the first one. (I was induced for IUGR, they had me on pit for 8 hours without one contraction, then they finally broke my water and I went from 1 centimeter to delivered in an hour and 40 minutes. The pain was INTENSE and I was scared out of my mind. I remember thinking I literally was dying. The nurses were so horrific. "Oh, honny! You need to contract for at least two hours before we will even check you again" after I was crying to her that the baby was coming. My doc didn't make it, since they didn't expect me to go so fast, so I wound up with a very rough, very invasive, nasty resident. She decided to put an internal fetal monitor on the baby during transition, and told me to "relax, its not that bad" when I was whimpering through the pain.) So my fear with my next one was a birth like that again, I opted for the epidural

With my third, I was so afraid something would happen to me during the birth and I would die. After he was born, I remember thinking, "I made it! I'm alive!" I was just so sure something was going to happen.

This one, I am afraid something will be wrong with the baby. I have three perfectly healthy children already, so statistically, something is just bound to happen...is my irrational thinking. Plus, I haven't been able to eat very much and my vitamins make me sick, so I keep thinking I am starving the baby of nutrients it needs to develop properly.

Thanks for starting this thread! It's really quite theraputic...