A dear friend of mine just delivered her first child last week and is having a really hard time. I stopped in to see her over the weekend (exactly a week after delivery) and was a little surprised by how NOT well she was. For some reason, I thought that she'd be one of those people who effortlessly slipped into motherhood. I think she did too (which is a big part of the problem).
The issues she's having are completely normal- motherhood isn't as easy & natural as she'd expected, nursing isn't as easy as she'd hoped, everything she does involves 10 extra steps, the baby doesn't want to be anywhere other than snuggled on her chest. I reminded her that, even though it seems like forever, it's only been a WEEK, and things would improve as everyone got used to the new set-up (baby on the outside). I offered her my Moby to help her feel a little more independent and efficient. I assured her that these things are completely normal.
The one thing I haven't been able to help with is her accepting the loss of complete control that comes with having a baby. She's a serious Type A personality (she's the first to admit it)- she's used to being very organized, completely in control and her life having order. As we all know, newborn babies don't work that way.
Unfortunately, I'm not a lot of help because I'm completely laid-back, play-it-by-ear, no more structure than is completely necessary.
Can anyone give some sage advice that I can pass on? Or give me some sort of resource/book/forum regarding Type A motherhood?
I've faced PPD following the births of both of my children and I've dealt with depression during my current pregnancy, so I KNOW the pain and anxiety that she's feeling. I've known her since high school and we've been fortunate enough to go through our pregnancies (her first, my latest) together. I just want to help her. It's just strange because we're coming to the same point from VERY different directions.
Any advice would be appreciated.