When my twins were about 8 months, my DD1 was also three. Honestly, I didn't spend a lot of time playing "with" them. The real key for me was lining up adult activities that would keep me busy and engaged all day-- finding the interests I hadn't had time for when I was working. For me it was learning to bake and cook, doing a lot of reading, writing, gardening, canning and preserving, and yarn crafts. Whatever your passion is. The kids mostly stayed nearby, doing their own thing-- the babies would sit on a blanket, with a selection of interesting toys, or sit in my lap and nurse or just watch me, or ride on my back if I was on my feet. DD would run around keeping herself amused with whatever happened to be around.
In my experience, once they get used to your attention being on somebody besides them, they settle in really well to keeping themselves amused and occupied. And doing nothing all day but playing with kids is crazy-making, for me at least. I need other outlets. And the payoff is that my guys really don't need constant adult input, to be happy and busy. They've learned that entertaining themselves in their own responsibility. They don't need constant input and stimulation to develop and grow and learn-- they are equipped with bountiful curiosity.
That doesn't mean you don't play with them ever-- we stopped frequently during the day to nurse, to read books, for me to play a little game with other or the other, to take walks outside, to answer questions about what I was doing, or help them a bit with something that frustrated them. But then when we were finished, I'd say, "all right mama's going to finish paying these bills now," and I would. They would toddle after me while I carried laundry downstairs. They would hang over my shoulder and watch while I kneaded bread. They would sometimes briefly come over and ask to try whatever it was I was doing. Then they'd lose interest and drift back to their own stuff.
Really good childproofing can help, especially when baby is mobile. So can limiting the number of toys that are out at any given time.
It was really liberating for me, actually, to learn that staying home didn't mean I had to imitate being a daycare provider, and play structured activities all day. The quiet, casual rhythms of family life, where adults do adult things, and children do childish things, and pause sometimes to share what they're doing with one another, is a really comfortable one. And it's healthy for kids, and more like the way our ancestors lived with children. My kids have thrived on it.
It can take a tremendous adjustment, though, if your kids are used to having your undivided attention the whole time they're with you. But it's really been worth it, for us.
