Silly question about inviting midwife to wedding

[RabbitMomma]

I wasn't sure where to put this, but I could really use some advice! This is a really silly question, but this is our first baby and thus our first midwife, so we weren't really sure if it was appropriate to invite her to our wedding in April or not. I'm only four months so I've only seen her about 3 times so far, I like her a lot and she's really nice but I don't know her very well yet. I wasn't sure if I should invite her or not, and if I invited her I wasn't sure if she would be weirded out by it because she doesn't know me too well.

Do you think it's appropriate to invite her? Both my fiance and myself have Asperger's, so we're kind of lost with this whole wedding- especially with the guest list. Most of the people coming are either our family members or our parent's friends, so we really haven't the slightest clue on who it's okay to invite and who we shouldn't! I asked my mom what she thought and she said that she would never invite her doctor to her wedding- but midwives are totally different so I don't know if it would be acceptable or even expected to invite her.

Sorry, I know this is a really silly question but I really have no idea and don't want to offend her/make her uncomfortable by either inviting her or not inviting her! 

[noahs.mom06]

DH and I got married during my last pregnancy, and we invited our midwife. BUT, she is a friend of mine and had been for over 2 years at that point (over 4 years now).

[CascadiaMama]

If most of your invitees are family or friends of parents, I wouldn't invite her. I really doubt she'd be offended, as your relationship is new. We've only seen our midwife four times to date, and while I totally adore her, we're still in the getting-to-know-you phase.

In fact, inviting her might be awkward - not sure if she'd feel obligated, or be uncomfortable giving a gift to a patient. And introducing herself to other guests might put her in a tight spot, since people might have questions about the birth plans or the baby, and she probably can't go into that because of confidentiality.

Now, if you'd already had the baby and had gone through that experience with her at your side, it might be a different situation. Same if you're having a HUGE wedding with like 150+ guests, and inviting anyone and everyone. But it sounds like a pretty intimate affair at this point.

Congrats on the wedding, by the way!

[RabbitMomma]

Originally Posted by AmyPDX 

If most of your invitees are family or friends of parents, I wouldn't invite her. I really doubt she'd be offended, as your relationship is new. We've only seen our midwife four times to date, and while I totally adore her, we're still in the getting-to-know-you phase.

In fact, inviting her might be awkward - not sure if she'd feel obligated, or be uncomfortable giving a gift to a patient. And introducing herself to other guests might put her in a tight spot, since people might have questions about the birth plans or the baby, and she probably can't go into that because of confidentiality.

Now, if you'd already had the baby and had gone through that experience with her at your side, it might be a different situation. Same if you're having a HUGE wedding with like 150+ guests, and inviting anyone and everyone. But it sounds like a pretty intimate affair at this point.

Congrats on the wedding, by the way!

Okay, yeah that's what I was sort of thinking too. I was kind of thinking that in 5 months time, I'll probably be really close with her, and certainly after the birth we'll be much closer, so I was sort of thinking of that when deciding if to invite her or not. Thanks!