What to do when you and homeschool group no longer fit?

[Savoir Faire]

Hello all...

We moved to our current state  about two years ago. That's when we started homeschooling...and it was a very lonely time for us. We joined a local religious group.

Slowly but surely, we found out what this group is about...the majority of the members have VERY conservative/more fundamental religious leanings...while we are definitely much more liberal. I have NO problem with conservative religious leanings, but I also believe in *can't we all just get along?*

I've seen a few anti-Muslim comments on their forums, and I've gotten into disagreements about how wrong it is to bring things like that on there. I've seen Catholics feel shunned and eventually leave the group. (I've heard stories from friends who were raised Catholic about how their "friends" were laughing at a Catholic family that was asked to leave.)

I recently got into another disagreement. Long story short...I used a word that some on there did not deem appropriate. (Most people in the real world...would not have a problem with this. Not a curse word or anything. It was a term for a type of underwear.)

Swift and major repercussions came my way, with people shouting of my being "vulgar" and "crude." They banned me from the site (which pretty much limited my involvement with the group). After petitioning that it was unfair to ban as I can't find out about any activities...they let me back in.

I was pretty much told that no matter how big the group gets, they will always cater to the needs of the more conservative-- hence the reason I was being shunned.  I say "a bad word," someone gets offended, I get in trouble.

Honestly, if there were not kids involved, I'd been gone a long time ago. BUT! There are kids. Two very sweet, wonderful tykes who have met good friends in this group. They'd lose access to science fairs, field trips, group rates for plays, parties and co-op. They'd lose the chance to see their friends or be involved in this group.

There's another group in town, but we're looking at 45 minutes each way to get to their weekly meetings. We live in a large metro area...so we might end up driving all over the place to get to activities. (And yes, I've checked. These are THE ONLY two groups. Seriously.)

So...here's my question. Would you stay in a group you no longer agree with (and totally feel shunned/not sure who to trust) for the children (who did nothing wrong), or would you pack it up and leave?

[InstinctiveMom]

What a tough situation, Rachel. Especially when the kids are involved (their friendships), that makes it an especially delicate situation. Could you phase yourself and your kids out while making preparations to start a new, more inclusive, group? Starting a group isn't that hard, it just takes some moxy ;) 

[SundayCrepes]

Actually, I've seen your posts before and know what part of the valley you live in. Since you are electing not to mention your city here, I will pm you about another group I'm thinking you are unfamiliar with. It's on the NW side of town, but not as far north as you are.

[lmonter]

If you have the time/inclination, I agree with the stepping lightly at the current group while taking notes and starting your own group.  That can happen to be more inclusive of whoever wants to join.  :)