Potty Poll! Do you schedule, prompt, or encourage independent pottying?

[pranava]

So, once your toddler understands what a potty is, how to use it, and that they should try to get the poo and pee in the potty instead of their pants, how do you handle pottying?  A friend once told me she though it slowed potty training down to ask a child or remind a child to go.  Her opinion was that the child should first learn to say they needed to potty, otherwise you will always be the one to initiate pottying.  That makes sense in a way, but children are also forgetful.  What do you do?  Is it working?  Just curious, thanks!!

[Peony]

I never had to remind DD1, she would always tell us or go herself. DD2, once she was PLed, told us most of the time. Sometimes she wouldn't and would have an accident, as time went on she stopped having them. 

[Chamomile Girl]

DS will usually tell me he has to go, but if I see him grabbing his crotch I ask. Oh, and if he farts its on the potty ASAP...found that out the hard way.

[Areia]

DD usually goes by herself,  but if I've noticed that its been a while, I'll ask her if she needs to use the potty.  She  hasn't had a day time accident in a very long time so I'll only ask the one time even if she says no.  Sometimes if she declines to go just before a  long car ride, I'll ask her if she's sure and remind her that  it's going to be a long time before she'll be able to use the bathroom again. 

[lifeguard]

Usually I don't say anything but if I see him doing the dance or we are going to be going somewhere then I will initiate a trip to the bathroom. He's very good about trying at these times even he thinks he doesn't need to go. Makes going for longer car trips much easier.

[myfairbabies]

My dd is 20 months old and totally day/night PL. She has maybe 1 accident a week and that's usually on a day when I forget to use the magic phrase "Remember to tell mommy when you have to go peepee so you can keep your pants dry." I use it frequently when out of the house, just in case, and rarely at home but she pretty much always tells me when she has to go. Or if she's naked, she sometimes takes herself. The only time I put her on to go without her telling me is before bed or before leaving the house.

[MeepyCat]

DS is nearly 4, and mostly dry day and night, but he's reaching a stage where he can get very absorbed in what he's doing and forget about basic physical needs.  I generally insist that he sit on the potty when he wakes in the morning, before bed at night, before we run errands or go out to play, before handing out a third cup of juice, before we start watching any movie, and if I notice him dancing. 

[waiting2bemommy]

I always tell ds to go potty before bed but other than that it really hasn't been on my radar for a while now.

Dd just got her new potty tonight but it will be a while yet before I start actively "potty training" her. When I am actively potty training, yes, I absolutely schedule, encourage and prompt. I mean, it has to come from somewhere until they catch on to their own body cues. 

Put it this way: how many people do you know who took an active, encouraging, maybe even scheduling approach to potty training who are still having to remind their 4 and 5 year olds multiple times every day? Now how many people do you know who said "I'll just wait until he/she is ready, no pressure" who are now frantic because their kid is the only 3, 4 or 5 year old who still wears diapers and can't go to swim class/preschool/a potty trained friend's house?

[ellemenope]

The every 30 minutes reminder has always sounded alien to me.  I never asked DD if she had to go.  We did "nakey baby" for a while but switched to underwear and pants pretty quick, but she still just went to the bathroom on her own.  We started going out in underwear at 20 months.  I never asked her if she needed to go.  She would tell me.  To this day she has NEVER had an accident outside the house.  She is 2.5 now and I never think about her pottying when we are outside the house (when we our home, she is 100% independent except wiping poop).  She will go when I go, which is not often, or she will ask me to take her.  We REALLY lucked out with this one, and I know I am going to get it real good next time around. 

I totally recommend it.  (That is the nakey baby, although having a baby that will potty train herself at 18 months is awesome too <wink>)

For a while, I did have to coax her to go poop at least once a day otherwise she would get constipated.  She had major constipation issues which I feel more than makes up for her early and easy potty training. 

[monchichimary]

I'll tell how i potty trained my son, and it took him a week to be fully trained and in underwares. When my son turned two i decided to start. I put his potty trainer in the playroom where we are majority of the time. I think brought him to the store and let him pick out a bag of mm's. As Bad as he wanted them now i explained to him that he has to go on the toliet to get five of them.

he wanted it bad and went right away. But i had to ask him to try every 30 min and he was given two mm's for trying. But they have to be reminded of it because they are so used to going in thier diaper they dont think about toliet... but made sure thier rewarded for at least trying and the first time they do go in the potty make a HUGE deal about it to make sure they KNow that it makes you happy! Call your parents and have your child tell them what they've done. like is said make a Huge deal about how proud you are of them. dont ever yell at them for going in thier pants,

[JudiAU]

Diaper Free Before 3 is a wonderful resource. The scheduling method has worked really well for both our kids. Cloth diapers and early training pants really helped. DS was in underpants almost a full year before an other boy in his preschool. I think it is so SO much easier to potty learn earlier, before the battles of a 3 year old. It just was never a struggle.

[sapphire_chan]

We've done all of the above. Currently, it's mostly dd asking to go (she can take off her pants, but not her shirt and prefers to be totally naked when pottying at home), but she will occasionally get her potty herself instead of asking me to get it.

I ask during distracted times, and when she gets her "poofy pee belly". If she's got the poofy belly and is tired/hungry and just saying no to everything, I'll stand her in the bathtub and run water. Otherwise, I accept her answer on whether she has to go.

(Er, looking at the other responses, it occurs to me I should clarify that we did EC, so the every half hour thing was when she was less than 6 months.)

She figured out pooping fairly young, but peeing took until after her 2nd b-day. Then we had a month where I only had to suggest the potty about 4-5 times (in the entire month), then she had a couple days with a lot of accidents and I started reminding her more again.

I think your friend would be happier at least suggesting the potty before car trips, naps, and such. I can see not suggesting the potty at home, but it seems silly in situations where accidents would be more annoying and where the child is less likely to be considering their body's feelings.

[Surfer Rosa]

Early on, I am more vigilant about the reminders, and take them before we go out, or when I have to go, etc. After a couple of months, I only insist on it first thing in the morning and if it's been more than a few hours. I disagree with the statement that reminders=they won't get it. both my kids were out of diapers at 20 months, and there's no way they would willingly leave something fun if they had to pee (heck, even at five, my DD will risk peeing her pants instead of missing out on something). I think pointing out that it looks like they have to pee (shifting around, grabbing themselves), helps them get in touch with what their bodies are trying to tell them too (without the battle!)

[YayJennie]

My 23 month old started sitting on the potty (and peeing/pooping) when he was 9 months old.  At around 18 months, we stepped it up and started having him wear underwear during the day and actively "potty training".  We would put him on the potty every hour or so, depending on how much he was drinking (we'd put him on much more if he'd just had a huge glass of water or bottle of milk or something).  At 18 months he still wasn't asking to go our understanding when he'd gone.  Now, at 23 months, he'll tell us when he's peed or pooped, and about 25% of the time tell us BEFORE he has to pee or poop (major step!)  But we still sit him on the potty regularly.  If he says he doesn't have to go and starts to freak that we're trying to put him on the potty, we stop.  But then try again a few minutes later.  However, if we leave him naked and leave the potty out, he will get on by himself and pee/poop 90% of the time in the potty.  It's just too cold to do that all the time, and we're trying to get him used to telling us when he has to go when he's in clothes.  I was hoping to have him completely dry during the days by his second birthday, but it's looking like it will take a bit longer than that.  We're pretty laid back about it though, and there's still some days where he's in diapers all day because I'm too busy with the newborn to be sure he's getting on the potty enough. 

[Spring Lily]

I didn't know how to vote int his poll. When my twins started to really get the idea of using the potty, I kept using our CDs, but at every diaper change I'd ask if they wanted to try using the potty chair--no pressure and the word "try"focused on the routine of it and not the results. We did that for several months, and probably 75% of the time they wanted to "try."

A few months of that and they started coming to me as asking "Try?" while pulling at their diapers. I'd put them on the potty immediately and they were usually successful. Sometimes we were too late, but they obviously had the idea. They started going naked whenever we were home (we pretty much stayed home for a few weeks!) and I kept a potty chair in the room with them at all times. At first they needed reminding after every 10 minutes or so, but they adjusted and now they go about an hour between needing to use the potty. Most of the time they go on their own, but if I notice it's been awhile, I'll stop them and sit them on the potty--which usually is successful.

We also have designated potty times built into the schedule, such as before meals (my instructions are "potty, hands, eat!") and when we leave/come home.

The problem I have with not sitting them on the potty is that kids get so caught up in playing that they don't always realize when they need to stop for a minute and go potty. You can remind them, they'll say no, and literally a minute later they'll have an accident on the floor. Sometimes they need you to come in and physically interrupt their play so they can switch gears.

[physmom]

We started EC with DD so for us the answer is a bit different.  Basically once DD was 9 months we started putting her on the potty whenever she showed signs of pooping (something pretty obvious with DD!).  She learned to poop on her potty almost immediately (she has HATED diapers since she was a newborn and would even hold it until her diaper came off since birth).  We did baby signing with her at that point so she'd either sign potty or run to the bathroom door and bang on it. 

Eventually we started putting her on the potty first thing in the morning but beyond that we always let her ask for it for the most part (or asked her if she needed to go and she'd say yes or no).  Now that she's 2 and has been potty trained during the day for awhile now we make sure she goes pee before we leave the house.  We're still not 100% accident free, sometimes if she's constipated she'll have a pee accident before she can poop, no clue why!  But beyond that she learned from a pretty young age to ask for herself and tell us when she needs to go. It's been a long process since we started so early but I love that she learned how to tell for herself when she had to go and we saved a ton of money on diapers!!!

[brennan]

With dd I sometimes remind her if it's been a long time or I notice signs that she has to go, but the only time I put her on the potty is if we're leaving the house.