I think I have a lazy toddler

[AuNaturaleMama]

We've just recently entered the mega tanturm stage and it isn't making things easier! How do I handle/encourage him to do more things for himself when he clearly doesn't want to?

Last night was a prime example. He was walking through the living room and fell. I could tell that he wanted to be comforted after the fall but instead of coming to me, he just sat there and whined. I held out my hand and tried to entice him to come to me, be the whining ecscalated into crying.

Another example is when he drops something. He refuses to pick it up himself. This morning while sitting at this mini table, he dropped the spoon he was playing with. He started leaning and whining for it. I told him he should get down to get it. More whining. Then i helped him down from the chair so he could retrieve it only for him to throw a tantrum.

He's only 16mos, so I'm trying to not dwell on it but I feel like I'm encouraging these behaviors. How could I coax him to do more for himself?

[thedenverduo]

I think you should do these things for him when he wants you to.  I know you are trying to encourage him to be more independent, but I'm worried that might backfire on you.  My ds is 18 months and from a year on he COULD do things for himself like get up after a minor fall or get his own fork out of the drawer or pick up something he dropped, but he didn't WANT to.  I think it is part of the whole attachment thing.  He wanted to make sure that I was still there and still meeting every need.  He got really bad right before he started walking (didn't want to do anything for himself) and again right before he started talking.  I just went with it.  He was only one year old, and I wasn't worried about 'spoiling' him.  Now a few short months later he is Mr. Independent and wants to do every little thing by himself, which is fabulous for me.  "Sure, bud, you can put your own dishes in the dishwasher." (:

So I would help him up if he wants you to (even though you know he can do it), and I would deal with 3 or 4 months of picking up his spoon for him.  Because in the long run I think he needs to feel that you are there for him 100% (even when he is being whiney) before he can be more independent.  I don't mean that you need to cater to his every whim... if you've got your hands full and his needs are not immediate he can whine about it all he wants, but it seems like you might be choosing to not help him up in the hopes that he will eventually not want you to help him up every. single. time.

HTH!

[chel]

i agree, way too young to think a kid is lazy,  though i wish my little one wouldn't be as active.  i don't think toddlers can be lazy

[Abraisme]

Originally Posted by chel 

i agree, way too young to think a kid is lazy,  though i wish my little one wouldn't be as active.  i don't think toddlers can be lazy

I agree

[tzs]

oh no. toddlers can be lazy...although i don't think this is the case with the OP. 

i had a kid in my toddler class who, upon hearing about him way back in the baby room, i swore up and down that "babies can't be lazy." well, this one could and was. not to get into details and it's a little OT but it happens, probably rare but not impossible.