Sports practices

[Alyantavid]

What do you do while your kid is at practice?

DS1 is playing basketball through his school.  He has practice twice a week.  We live out of district, about 20 minutes away.  It's a very small town that has all of 2 bars and a teeny grocery store.  It's also winter and cold.  So ds2 and I sit to the sides and play games or read books or talk to the other families waiting there.  Practice is only an hour long and I'm not about to drive home for 20 minutes. 

I've always stayed for his practices and never thought anything of it.  A few days ago I read on FB, a post from the wife of the basketball coach (she helps coach and does it all when he can't be there) complaining about the parents staying at practice because it made her uncomfortable.  I never get involved, I'm not the parent who yells instructions at my kid during practice. 

Last night was his first night of wrestling practice through our town's rec program.  Every kid had at least one parent there the entire time (again, off to the side waiting quietly) and the wrestling coach had no problem at all with it.  I assume its probably mainly the difference between a parent volunteer coach and an actual coach-coach.

So I'm curious, do you stick around at practices or just drop off? 

[ollyoxenfree]

It all depends - mostly on venue. I stuck around when they were less than age 7 or so, but I often wasn't in the same room. For dance, the studio had seats in the hallway and a waiting area near the doors. With sports in the gym, we often sat out in the hallway - less likely to get hit by stray balls! Hockey, however, we usually sat in the stands in the arena until practice was over. For music lessons, sometimes I sat in the same room, but often I was outside in the hallway. Most of the time, soccer was played on fields with a playground nearby, and I'd take the other kid to the playground until practice was over. 

When they were older, I often dropped them and ran some errands or treated myself to a coffee. 

Once DD started practices that lasted longer than an hour (dance and drama rehearsals that would take 2 or 3 hours), I often found the nearest library branch and camped out there.  

I've never really thought about it before, but the organizations that I'm familiar with have set up "waiting areas" for parents if they want them to stay out of the way. They'll put chairs in the hallway outside the gym or direct parents to the school cafeteria, etc. Parents are more likely to hang around outdoor practices for soccer or baseball, especially if it's a nice day, because there just isn't anywhere else to sit.  

 

[babymommy2]

My kids have done community league soccer, so all volunteer coaching. All the parents stay for U6. Not all the parents stay for the U8, but usually there are at least half or so that stay, some arrive earlier at the end aswell, becuase the kids usually like to do a parents vs kids game for the last 10 minutes or so, have also done outdoor soccer, and lots of people stay, and not only stay bring along an entourage with them, lawn chairs line both sides of the field. I usually stay because it is an hour and it really isn't enough time to do an errand unless it is really short, also cold and winter and dark, so I just stay. Ithink your coach is being insecure.

[Peony]

Sometimes I stay, sometimes I drop off and DH picks up when he gets off work if the timing works out. We live 20 minutes away as well, 3 kids, and several sports, we all get tired of sitting around waiting! Some locations there is something nearby to do, like wander around Wal-mart,  DD2's dance for example has the tiniest little waiting room, I can not stay there with a toddler so sometimes we sit in the car in bad weather. DD1 is old enough and has a cell phone that I can drop her off in the parking lot and either come back later or DH will grab her. 

[CarrieMF]

When my kids were in basketball we stayed & watched. When they were in the younger groups we were often out there helping coach.

My kids are in Judo & dance now.

At Judo there are bleachers set up for parents to watch.  My dd(12) does both the juniors class & the adult class back to back so we're there for 2.5 hours watching.  Mon & Wed she's there for 2.5 hours.  Thurs she's there for 1 hour.

At dance there is a waiting room that alot of parents stay in.  Some parents of the older kids drop off & do other things.  I am there 4 nights a week.

I'd ignore what the wife of the coach said.  If she has a problem with some of the parents(and if they're yelling instructions I can see that as a problem) then they need to bring that up with those particular parents.

[Alyantavid]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF 

I'd ignore what the wife of the coach said.  If she has a problem with some of the parents(and if they're yelling instructions I can see that as a problem) then they need to bring that up with those particular parents.

Oh I am.  It's not abnormal for parents to stay here, mostly because it's so rural that you can't just run an errand.  I just thought it was strange to see the huge difference between these two coaches. 

[mamalisa]

Dh coaches everything so I usually don't have to go.  It depends on the location for the most part.  Ds has practice about 20 minutes away and the location kind of sucks so I usually stay.  The baseball fields up the street, I go back home.   But really, if I have friends that are there sitting and waiting for their kids I'm more likely to stay!  Football practice is my favorite because it backs up to to very large parks and dd can just run wild and I can camp out in a chair and read a book!

[MJB]

My boys do soccer, basketball, and swim team and I usually stay and watch. Sometimes I leave and do something else, but I like to watch them and you can't do much in an hour/hour and a half anyway. My husband and I have both coached before (he's coaching b-ball right now) and didn't think anything of parents watching. 

[CarrieMF]

i can understand the coach's wife's issue.  If she is coaching & there are parents yelling at the kids telling them what to do it could make anyone uncomfortable, especially if they are telling her what to do.  These parents yelling could think she doesn't know anything & that they could do a better job.  

[limabean]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF 

i can understand the coach's wife's issue.  If she is coaching & there are parents yelling at the kids telling them what to do it could make anyone uncomfortable, especially if they are telling her what to do.  These parents yelling could think she doesn't know anything & that they could do a better job.  

The OP didn't say that the parents who stay are behaving poorly, but even if some of them are, the coach/his wife should address the behavior, not make a blanket request that no parents stay. 

[LynnS6]

Our son is in 4th grade and plays one sport a season. One of the parents always hangs around, because as you said, there's not sense in dropping them off, going home and then coming back. With ds' baseball last year, the practice was about an 8 minute drive from our house. We still stayed.

I usually bring grading to do. Dh will either bring his laptop and work or just hang out and talk to other parents. I know my grading papers is decidedly anti-social, but I NEED to get that work done, and I'm not that social .

Posting a complaint on facebook is passive aggressive and juvenile, IMO. If she has a problem with the parents being in the gym, then she needs to set out expectations (preferably at the beginning of the season), and give the parents a place to go. If you're feeling kind, you could point out to her that you stay because there's no place else to go and it's too expensive to drive back and forth twice. (Not to mention all the extra greenhouse gases it releases.) Otherwise, I'd ignore it just like you're doing.

[CarrieMF]

The OP said that there are parents who are coaching their kids from the sidelines.

The coaches wife did NOT make a blanket statement that parents should stay away, she complained & said that it made her nervous when parents are there.

[VisionaryMom]

Our kids are still small but play soccer. They play through the Y, and our packet of info requests that at least one responsible adult stay for kids U8 and younger. We've never really had parents coaching from the sidelines, but I assume we will as they're older. I would find it odd if a coach of younger kids didn't want parents there.

[Alyantavid]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF 

i can understand the coach's wife's issue.  If she is coaching & there are parents yelling at the kids telling them what to do it could make anyone uncomfortable, especially if they are telling her what to do.  These parents yelling could think she doesn't know anything & that they could do a better job.  

There's one parent that yells and she does it for everything.  It's expected from her.  Dh coaches baseball and has coached this woman's daughter many times and that's how she is.  He's never minded at all.

It's moot now because basketball is over. 

[aussiemum]

I usually stay for most practices- soccer, athletics, touch footy, & horseriding currently.  Sometimes I will arrange with one of the other parents to drop my kids home after training, or take them to practice & i will do the pick up run in return.  I hate wasting petrol just so I can be home for 20 or 30 minutes; also their various practices seem to coincide with peak hour traffic, & I reeeally hate driving in traffic.  Sometimes I will do the grocery shopping instead of waiting around, but mostly I just study, read or chat with other parents.  Definitely no coaching from the sidelines though- hell, if I even tried to kick a soccer ball I would probably miss!  Parent volunteers are needed for Little Athletics, so I will often help out if I don't have an assignment due or exams to study for.  School based activities are usually held just after the school day ends, so I will pick them up when it is over.

[JayGee]

Unless we do a carpool, I stay and wait.  Right now practices (gymnastics, cheer, soccer) are no more than an hour long, so it's not a big deal.  If one of the kids gets more involved and practices go over an hour, I'd consider running errands.  Going home never really crossed my radar because, as the OP mentioned, it's just not worth it for 20 minutes at home.

[*bejeweled*]

I always stay and watch horseriding. For piano, I stay in the car and study or do Sudoku. Every once in a blue moon I'll sit in the room for piano. DD loves it when I stay.

[Heavenly]

For me it depends on the age of the child and also, like you said, how are away it is and how long it is.  My son does judo (he is 10 years old) and it is an hour long class.  My husband stays there with him because it is a 15 minute drive away so he'd only be home for 30 minutes and have to head back out to get him.  On the other hand my daughter does (age 8) does gymnastics.  It is an hour and a half long and is about 2 minutes from our house so we leave.  No point in staying around at that point.  On the other hand my youngest is 5 and goes to the same gymnastics school.  Her class is one hour but I stay because she is only 5.  I don't think a coach/parent has the right to be upset about parents staying.  It is your child and your perogative.

[34me]

When my son was little and played soccer I almost always stayed. If I left it was to go a block away to the little market. Now that he is older and playing hockey an hour away if it's my carpool night I run errands, go to the library a couple blocks away or knit at the rink. Practices are 90 minutes with 20 minutes on either side to get dressed. Lacrosse is in our city but you can't go further from our house and still stay in town so I stay for the 2 hours even though it's 2 hours. It's just not worth the gas. Across the street is a smallish branch of our library, a Target, Sprouts.... Right now the seasons are overlapping so it is 30 min drive to lacrosse, 2 hours of lacrosse, 45 min to hockey, 90 min of hockey and then 60 min home

[Mirzam]

My son (11) plays soccer for an MLS club that is based at best 35 minutes away (no traffic) from home, given practice is 1.5 hours long I always stay. But the club provides an outdoor seating area for parents or the Cantina (stadium restaurant) with free wifi so at least we can be comfortable. Parents are not permitted to coach from the sidelines and the club keeps the kids a fair distance away from us to prevent any such interference. DS also does sport rock climbing for two hours twice a week, and for that, as the gym is local, I drop him off and DH picks him up. The gym really isn't set up for parents to hang around anyway.