Frustrated and OVER IT!

[pmomma]

While EC(elimination communication) seemed like such a wonderful, logical idea when my daughter was an infant, I am now wondering if it has screwed her up. I started doing EC at 6 weeks, and did it part time as I had to work. It worked great, and seemed to be just the thing to keep my little girl clean.

At 13 months she was telling me she needed to use the potty. So we went to full-time undies and trips to the potty. She was doing great, having very few accidents. At 1.5 she started refusing to use the potty, so I backed off for a few months then started again. Once again she did well, but after a couple of months she began throwing fits again and refusing to use the potty. So we waited again, and started up once more, and the very same thing happened.

Now, at 2.5, we have constant accidents every single day. I am over it, to say the least. It has been a year and a half of potty training, and yet again I feel I'm back to square one.

She's smart, and she knows what to do. But she only does it when SHE WANTS to. I've tried every trick in the book. We've tried different potties, timers, treats, rewards at the end of a dry day, sticker charts, EVERYTHING. And yet I have a 2.5 yo who is still not consistently using the potty.

Has anyone had a similar experience? 

I'm now pregnant with our second and fearing that in 6 months when we have a new baby, my first will still not be potty trained.

Everyone thinks I messed her up by doing EC. I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "well you started too early." I'm starting to believe that that is the case.

I NEED HELP, or I may rip all my hair out.

[MrsBone]

well, unfortunately it seems EC works for some and not for others. My son never did EC, but he's at that stage right now too. He just started potty learning at 2 years, and goes when he wants to on the potty and doesn't go when he doesn't want to. I'm not pushing it. I just let him go on the potty at home when he wants to and I don't make him go if he doesn't want to. Making it a power struggle won't help the situation at all. She'll go when she's ready. My nephew wasn't potty trained until he was 3 1/2, but my sister didn't push it either.

[healthy momma]

First, no, you did not screw her up by doing EC. Second, remember that EC is NOT about potty training, it is about communicating with your DD about her needs. It sounds like in some instances you've done that very well. When she communicated that she didn't want to use the potty you backed off. Great! Keep that up.

My DS was EC'd from birth. He too started signing around 13 months that he needed to go potty although it was mainly for pooping not peeing. By 16 months we were 100% consistent with pooping in the potty but he could care less about peeing in his pants. We went through so many phases...wanting to be on the potty 24/7, not wanting to be on it at all, going when I would suggest it, refusing when I would suggest it, only peeing outside in the driveway, peeing all over the floor, only peeing in the potty if he was naked at the time...you get the idea. DS will turn 3 in May and just this week I took him to a play date for the very first time in real underwear.

At 2.5 (November) he just suddenly started being very consistent with telling me he had to pee if we were at home but when we were out and he was playing it was like he still couldn't be bothered. No big deal. I just had him wear cloth training pants. About a month ago he got to the point where he would tell me he had to go when we were out unless we were at the children's museum or the library. He was just too busy at those two places having fun to realize he had to go in time. But this past week he raced to the bathroom all on his own at both of those places. Yeah! I figured that it was time to put away the training undies. He loves his new train undies. And do you know what? I'm sure we'll have a few misses now and then. I still carry a big enough bag that I've got an extra set of clothes and a small towel so I can clean up inevitable messes. No big deal.

I think if you can step back, relax, cut out all of your praise, rewards, tricks, etc. she will make the leap for herself when she is ready. I KNOW that can be hard sometimes. Believe me, I had to keep telling myself to relax during some of DS more trying phases but it can be done. You are doing a great job. Block out all the naysayers and focus on connecting with your daughter and being her champion. Oh, and just think of how many huge changes your daughter has made in the last 6 months. There is definitely hope that she will be potty trained by the time your new little one is born. Hang in there.