Grade-skipping came up, but...

[VisionaryMom]

We met w/ DS' teacher last week after receiving mid-year assessments. DH & I agreed beforehand that this meeting was an information-gathering one for us. As a recap (I've posted this in other threads), our state's legislative statutes do not require formal gifted identification until 4th grade. Our school district cut all K-3 gifted educators 2 years ago b/c it's "not required." So we weren't sure what to expect. We were a bit surprised because his teacher brought up grade-skipping. She said that she felt he clearly is ready for at least one skip from an academic perspective, but she thinks for for him, emotional development (where he's pretty much average) would be a concern that we would have to address. Overall, though, she seemed to think that it was really the only chance of putting him in the right place academically.

He's reading at an early 2nd-grade level right now. He's in a 1st grade reading group. He's in his regular class in math, but it's become more problematic (according to his daily reports and his teacher's concerns). He's around 4th-grade level in math (I think, it's kind of hard to tell). He can add fractions, do basic equations, has a rudimentary concept of negative numbers.

I was really surprised because I suppose I had the idea in my mind that teachers aren't typically saying, "hey, let's talk about skipping a grade!" In general, I agree with her assessment that he is emotionally a kindergartener. He's pretty socially unaware, which I think would work to his advantage for the most part. (Some kids have made fun of him this year, and he'll repeat the conversations to me without understanding that they were being mean.) Still he does cry fairly easily, and I worry that would be problematic. He also have that giftie tendency to be overly sensitive to concerns with other children, though he's not himself very social. 

For those of you who've done grade skips, what do you think? Was your child ahead socially? I don't think he'll get "in trouble" in a higher grade. I think that piece will be better. He doesn't get in much trouble now, but he does talk, talk, talk and distract, but his teacher's aware that it's from sheer boredom. Being at school all day is rough for him, however. He barely holds it together and usually is crying before we get out of the school parking lot. I hope that would be less true if he were using his brain all day rather than really just sitting and not doing anything challenging. He eats up social studies, and I think it's because that's all new info. He's started to memorize the order of the presidents, which is great if he wants to do it, but I think just is a way to give himself a challenge. 

[whatsnextmom]

My eldest is grade accelerated. She's in highschool now and we have no regrets. I will say though, she was a rather ideal case. She started K at 5.5. She was very mature, focused and driven. She was reading 5th grade level books easily and writing 2-3 page book reports at almost the same level. She started kindie with almost no math skills outside of counting high but she completed the kindie and 1st grade math curriculums the first 6 weeks of school. She was falling apart emotionally though. The school really did try everything then suggested a move to 1st grade after Christmas. She was later offered another skip but SHE rejected it. We just made it work with additional subject accelerations in her high areas along with honors/advanced courses. Acceleration was the best thing in her case. It improved the social situation. It wasn't enough academically but much easier to accomodate from the higher grade. She survived middle school and came out a leader. She's even a late bloomer physically and it's not mattered at all.

A grade acceleration was reccomended for my DS too but we rejected it. He was a poor case. He started kindie "on time" but was still only 4 in a district with heavy red-shirting practices making him 1 to 1.5 years younger than most the kids without a skip. He was reading at 2nd grade level and his math level was higher but his fine motors were far behind. He lacked confidence and was afraid to do anything he felt he couldn't master instantly. He was also highly sociable and already sensitive to being the youngest in class as it was. Instead, we enrolled him in a tri-ligual school with accelerated academics. He gets a subject acceleration in math as well. It's been a much better fit for him than I think the grade acceleration would have been.

I don't know any accelerated kids who aren't happy and thriving. That said, the kids we know were all excellent candidates. You know your son best. If you are unsure, perhaps a middle ground can be met to try things out. We were unsure with DD so she just went to 1st grade in the mornings and then met up with her kindergarten after lunch. That lasted 2 weeks before she was begging to stay in 1st all day. It might be worth a try for your son.

[loraxc]

I have given some thought to whether I would skip DD if the school was receptive (present school is not). I have thought no, generally, because of socioemotional stuff, but sometimes I wonder if what I see as emotional immaturity/social awkwardness might resolve with more appropriate schooling. She had her 7th birthday party lately and I noticed that she latched onto an older sibling who she barely knew and had a great time with him. She has little exposure to older kids because pretty much our whole social group locally is made up of families where the oldest kid is her age, so I can't really judge if older kids would work better for her generally. In general, she seems to be drawn to people individually without regard for age. She loves grown-ups, but also sometimes enjoys much younger kids.

She would have no trouble at all with the academics. She writes well and legibly, which I always think of as the major thing to be careful about with a skip. How is your son's writing?

There is some kind of scale that people use to help judge if a skip is appropriate...Iowa something? More info on Hoagies.

[joensally]

The Iowa Acceleration Scale would be a great thing to include in your deliberations.

You might want to ask this on Davidson Gifted Forums as well, as there's recently been discussion about single grade skips not being enough that I've found interesting.

I'm reflecting, though, on your past thread (linked below).  I'm parenting one child who is acutely socially aware and another whose development in that domain has been slower.  They're now in grades 3 and 6, and social dynamics only get more complicated, social norms become more rigid, and kids' patience for quirkiness and different speeds diminishes.  We found a social skills class and camps, as well as explicit social coaching, very valuable for DS, and by the time he turned eight he was much more age-normed and had better self-regulation (ie better understood social expectations and could inhibit his impulses for talking and movement better).  We elected to homeschool grade 1 and then put him into an alternative, multi-age environment that includes exploratory academics for the past two years.  Next year is up in the air. 

I'm not trying to discourage you from a skip, but rather to share that we found explicit social coaching advatageous, and to point out that the social milieu becomes much more complicated, even among boys, by grade 2-3.

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1287223/dealing-with-lack-of-peer-group

[JollyGG]

I have a horrible head cold so can't coherently organize my thought so do plan to come back with a more thorough answer and to talk about some more of our experiences.

We had some concerns about maturity early on. When we were discussing it with his current school principle she mentioned that every grade/class has a wide range of maturity levels in the kids. Some are more immature, some more mature. If he's on target for his grade but just a bit immature for the next he likely may find he fits into that range fine, even if it's on the more immature end.

If he's immature for his age or current grade that would be more of a concern for me than just on target for age but immature for the next grade up.

[jen in co]

I just wanted to echo a few of the things that PPs have said.   I would really look at whether his fine motor skills are up to snuff for a grade skip.  My DS is in K and is one of the younger kids (late June BDay in an area with lots of redshirting) -- his math skills aren't as advanced (maybe 1-2 years ahead), but he reads at a mid-late 3rd grade level (currently gets subject acceleration to a 2nd grade classroom).  But, his fine motor skills are very age-typical.   The school originally wanted to do subject acceleration to 3rd grade for reading, but he really can't do the writing yet.   We're lucky his school is doing so much for him (in addition to the subject acceleration, he gets to work 1-on-1 with the teacher librarian for 2 hours per week on special research projects and tech stuff).

We aren't considering a grade skip at this point.   Our school district offers center based GT classrooms starting in 1st grade and we're going through the testing in the next few weeks.   But, if we didn't have a potential GT option, I'm not sure he would be a great candidate for a grade skip.   He fits in great socially in K, but he's still definitely a Kinder.  We do have friends who had kids skip (in another district) and their kids were both more mature and older and ready across the board.   I'm a big proponent of skipping, but I think you want to be sure he won't struggle too much with things that are developmental (e.g. fine motor or social stuff).

Also, just wanted to echo what people said about using the Iowa Acceleration assessment as a tool.   Our friends who did a skip felt like that test really gave them good info to support what the kids needed.
 

Originally Posted by VisionaryMom 

He's reading at an early 2nd-grade level right now. He's in a 1st grade reading group. He's in his regular class in math, but it's become more problematic (according to his daily reports and his teacher's concerns). He's around 4th-grade level in math (I think, it's kind of hard to tell). He can add fractions, do basic equations, has a rudimentary concept of negative numbers.

[Linda on the move]

another thought on the long term impact of skipping --

one girl I knew who jumped a grade really floundered once middle school hit, but I think that part of the problem was her mother. Her mother kept parenting her like she was 10, which she was, but her peer group was 12-14. (all activities were for grades 6-8). Because the girl had a completely different set of rules than the other kids, it set it apart. She ended up doing a lot of stupid stuff to try to fit in. I really think if her mother had relaxed about things like music choices, movie choices, face book pages, etc., it might have gone a lot better.

I know some parents disagree (heck, the kids' mom is a friend of mine and she disagrees!) but if you change your child's peer group, then it just seems kinder to let them be part of that peer group.

[moominmamma]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

one girl I knew who jumped a grade really floundered once middle school hit, but I think that part of the problem was her mother. Her mother kept parenting her like she was 10, which she was, but her peer group was 12-14. 

This was my experience as a child too. I double-grade-skipped in elementary school and had fairly over-protective parents even at the best of times. When I entered high school at age almost-12 my rules and regulations were more typical of a 9-year-old. I got less than a dollar a week for allowance, I was never allowed anywhere that a parent wasn't present as a supervisor. I was placed in Senior Concert Band that fall and my mom hired one of my 16-year-old clarinet section buddies as a babysitter for me and my younger siblings. She tried to make out like it was only my younger siblings who were officially being babysat, and I just happened to be in the house ... but really, it was totally humiliating. That's just one example of how my parents were insensitive to how my social needs were affected being a grade-advanced pre-teen. I went totally wild in 10th and 11th grade to compensate for all this. I think if they'd given me freedom and responsibility in keeping with my peer group rather than treating me like such a youngster I would have coped much better, and got into a lot less trouble.

Miranda

(who is planning to let her 17-year-old move out on her own to a bachelor apartment in a large city on the other side of the country next fall)

[MJB]

Grade-skipping has come up regarding our kindergartner as an option down the line. Right now, we are happy with him in kindergarten. He's reading at a very high level (his assigned reading work is 3rd grade level and the teacher says he can read much higher than that) and learns quickly in all subjects (I'd say he could easily do 1st grade math, but probably not 2nd). He is happy where he is right now aside from occasionally complaining of boredom. He has friends, he fits in, and although he started a year early, it's not an issue. If he skipped, he'd be a 5 yr. old 2nd grader in the fall, and I'm not sure that's a great situation to be in. We're considering sending him to Montessori so he could be in a 1st-3rd grade class, and then we could consider sending him to a 4th-5th grade class after 2 years in primary if necessary (a 7.5 yr. old 4th grader doesn't sound great, either, though).

Honestly, from your description of your son, I wouldn't skip him now. I'd work for lots of subject acceleration in math but it seems like his other needs are being met in kindergarten. 

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by loraxc 
 She would have no trouble at all with the academics. She writes well and legibly, which I always think of as the major thing to be careful about with a skip. How is your son's writing?
 

His ability to do the mental work of writing (constructing sentences, spelling out unfamiliar words) is pretty high, but his hand does get tired after a few sentences. I don't know enough about how much writing he would have to do in higher grades.
 

Originally Posted by joensally 
The Iowa Acceleration Scale would be a great thing to include in your deliberations.

I'm not trying to discourage you from a skip, but rather to share that we found explicit social coaching advatageous, and to point out that the social milieu becomes much more complicated, even among boys, by grade 2-3.

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1287223/dealing-with-lack-of-peer-group

I will look for the Iowa scale. I do have some social concerns. On one hand, I think some of his weirdness about social situations is a result of the ability gap. His teacher commented that he explains things to other kids, such as why they got "only a check and not a check plus." She said that most kids aren't even aware of that distinction, but some of his social awkwardness comes from his being aware of things that the other kids don't really notice. She did say that she doesn't think he has trouble making friends, more that he really doesn't have any intrinsic need for friends. He sits at a table of all girls, and his teacher said they all have crushes on him and think he's cute (which we kind of knew because of how these girls giggle and flirt with him). He truly doesn't care. (One girl slipped a personalized Valentine in his backpack, and his response was, "yeah, she gave me 2 Valentine's Day cards, but she spelled my name wrong. ) So, I don't know that it'd be that different in 1st or 2nd grade, other than that children may catch on to some of the things - like comparison of grades - that most kindergarteners don't.

Originally Posted by JollyGG 
We had some concerns about maturity early on. When we were discussing it with his current school principle she mentioned that every grade/class has a wide range of maturity levels in the kids. Some are more immature, some more mature. If he's on target for his grade but just a bit immature for the next he likely may find he fits into that range fine, even if it's on the more immature end.

If he's immature for his age or current grade that would be more of a concern for me than just on target for age but immature for the next grade up.

I think he's pretty much on target for emotional maturity. I think he's on the higher end in terms of behavior, problem-solving, that sort of thing. He has made huge leaps in the past 6 months, so it's hard to know where he'll be next fall. OTOH, we were at a school-wide carnival last Friday, and I saw some boys who seemed much less mature than DS. I sometimes wonder how much of what looks like "immaturity" is just a completely different set of interests. I know that it was a problem for me as a child. My 1st grade teacher suggested I get evaluated because I "didn't laugh at the same things as the other kids." She took that as stunted development, but the psychologist who did my eval said that I just didn't find those things funny because I was at a different level from most of the kids. We don't allow a lot of things that the other kids do. DS has not seen Star Wars, Bakugan, etc., and so he is missing some common ground there. He's way too sensitive and thinks through those things for days with lots of anxiety if we let him watch anything even remotely violent or scary.

Originally Posted by jen in co 

I just wanted to echo a few of the things that PPs have said.   I would really look at whether his fine motor skills are up to snuff for a grade skip.  My DS is in K and is one of the younger kids (late June BDay in an area with lots of redshirting) -- his math skills aren't as advanced (maybe 1-2 years ahead), but he reads at a mid-late 3rd grade level (currently gets subject acceleration to a 2nd grade classroom).  But, his fine motor skills are very age-typical.   The school originally wanted to do subject acceleration to 3rd grade for reading, but he really can't do the writing yet.   We're lucky his school is doing so much for him (in addition to the subject acceleration, he gets to work 1-on-1 with the teacher librarian for 2 hours per week on special research projects and tech stuff).

You know, I don't know about his fine motor skills in that I don't know what's typical. I'll have to look for a chart. His gross motor skills probably are on the low end of average. He can't hula hoop or jump rope, and it seems like about 1/2 of the kids I know who are his age can do those things. He does run races and play soccer, though.
 

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

one girl I knew who jumped a grade really floundered once middle school hit, but I think that part of the problem was her mother. Her mother kept parenting her like she was 10, which she was, but her peer group was 12-14. (all activities were for grades 6-8). Because the girl had a completely different set of rules than the other kids, it set it apart. She ended up doing a lot of stupid stuff to try to fit in. I really think if her mother had relaxed about things like music choices, movie choices, face book pages, etc., it might have gone a lot better.

Yeah, I've thought a bit about the older grades. My experience was that I was not grade skipped. I got into (minor) trouble in junior high because I had nothing else really occupying my time. I eventually just went to college early, which helped. I don't know how it would be if I'd been grade skipped, but my mother did not allow me to do much at all - ever. I eventually stopped coming home during college because she still would want me home at 9:00. It was absurd really. Knowing DS, I feel that he'd be more of the lab rat/library nerd type, so I don't know how much going out he'll ever want to do! I do worry, though, that he'll blame us later for making this decision for him. While I would have (and obviously eventually did) loved to skip grades, DH would have been mad at his parents for taking time away from his personal interests for harder schoolwork. 

Originally Posted by MJB 
 He has friends, he fits in, and although he started a year early, it's not an issue. If he skipped, he'd be a 5 yr. old 2nd grader in the fall, and I'm not sure that's a great situation to be in. We're considering sending him to Montessori so he could be in a 1st-3rd grade class, and then we could consider sending him to a 4th-5th grade class after 2 years in primary if necessary (a 7.5 yr. old 4th grader doesn't sound great, either, though).

Honestly, from your description of your son, I wouldn't skip him now. I'd work for lots of subject acceleration in math but it seems like his other needs are being met in kindergarten. 

I don't know about his needs being met, to be honest. He has other kids who like him. They almost clamor for his attention, but he just goes on his way. He says it's because he doesn't want to talk about what they do. Honestly my DH at 31 is the same way. Other people just flock to him, but he doesn't understand why. DH once told me that there are only a handful of people he truly likes and would go out of his way to be around. (Luckily for me, I guess, I'm one of them!) The only kids DS has ever connected to have been a good bit older than him. OTOH, he has a very small stature. He's really the size of a big 3YO, and I do worry that it will make him an easy target if we skip him.

As far as academics, he's doing fine with just the one acceleration in reading. He could read at a higher level, and his teacher said he's great at decoding but really excels at comprehension and vocabulary. His scores in that area are much higher. If he skipped to 2nd grade, he would be pretty much on target for actual reading ability but still pretty high for understanding. I think that could be workable for him. His understanding of science is much higher than grade level, and his *interest* in social studies is as well. I just think, though, that those are focus areas for elementary school.

Math just is such a big obstacle. There's so much resistance to just accelerating him. How can a child who adds fractions and solves equations going to be served with even 1 or 2 grade-level accelerations? Bleh. DH is starting to feel more strongly about pushing for the school to do *something*, rather than just saying, "well, we don't identify gifted kids this early." Okay, fine, but what if he were on the other end? (For starters, you couldn't not identify a special need until 4th grade just because you didn't want to.) No one would say, "gee, we should provide individualized reading instruction, but he could just sit quietly while everyone else works."

I think right now I'm leaning toward insisting on an individual math plan, even if we have to buy the materials. We'll do the math club. (DS was super-excited about that!) We'll just plan to have him evaluated privately and then considering pushing for a skip of 2nd grade if that looks like it will work for him.

[A&A]

My dd skipped 1st grade, and it was the best thing for her.  (She's in 9th now.)  It's easier to make friends with people who are your mental age rather than merely your chronological age. 

[ChristaN]

We were told, when dd12 skipped 5th, to think about what the right fit for her was right now not a few years down the line b/c we didn't have a crystal ball to see where things would be later.  When she was younger in elementary, she did have some issues with social fit due to her intense focus on social issues (trying to get the other kids to circulate petitions for garbage cans on the playground and spend every recess picking up trash, for instance) and her sensitivity.  In general, though, we've always referred to her as our "old soul."  Despite being the youngest in her grade pre-skip (her bd just squeaked in under the cut-off and redshirting is common), she has always done better with older kids.  Socially she was doing well in 4th and some of the earlier difficulties were abating b/c she was in a school where high achievement was valued, a number of the kids were brighter than average, and the other kids were maturing.  However, the social fit has been much better post-skip.  She is just more like the older kids than she is kids her age-1.5 yrs older (the peers in her grade pre-skip). 

Academically, it was absolutely the right choice as well and she could still do more in many subjects than she is.  She'll be starting high school in the fall just before her 13th bd and it looks like she'll have more opportunities for academic challenge there plus she's choicing to a more challenging school than our assigned one.

That said, I do have another HG child who is 2e who will not be skipping b/c it isn't the right move for her for a variety of reasons. 

Like pps have mentioned, letting dd12 be part of the social group she is in and do things earlier than I otherwise would have has also been the right move to keep her from looking like the little kid in the group.  For instance, when dd was just 11, she went to a slumber party for a girl who was turning 13, I think.  The parent took all of the kids to the mall and dropped them off to window shop alone for a while.  I normally wouldn't send an 11 y/o to the mall alone, but she was with a group of older girls, had a cell phone, and she did fine. 

Dd does know other kids who have skipped -- all successfully academically, not all successfully socially.  I can't tell you the number of dd's teachers who've made comments to me at parent-teacher conferences about how dd is mature and how well she fits in socially but that this isn't the case for all of the kids in her grade who've skipped -- they're socially "awkward and no one wants to work with them."  It really isn't something the teachers should be mentioning to other parents, especially parents who aren't bringing it up themselves!, but I do know who they are talking about.  I think that the difference btwn dd and the other kid(s) they reference is dd dresses like the other kids in her grade & reads social cues well from other kids.  She knows who she is and is true to herself, but she doesn't stand out as weird either.

I guess the question I'd be asking myself in your shoes is how well he'd fit with 2nd graders socially right now.  Would he be picked on as the boy who cries or is younger emotionally or would he fit better with these kids than the ones in his grade?  If now isn't the right time, it doesn't mean that he can't skip later.  Maybe now is the right time, though!

[VisionaryMom]

Christa, WRT your comments about how your dd fits in, do you think that would be the case if she hadn't skipped? I suppose when I'm thinking about myself since I have a wider range of social experiences than DS, I consider that I haven't ever fit in socially except for in graduate school. Even now, I don't have a group of moms who think about politics & philosophy in the way that I do. Simply put, they're not analytical thinkers. Part of our family solution (because DH feels this pressure as well) is to move to the Research Triangle area in NC because there are 3 major universities, cutting-edge technology firms, etc., and I feel like this pull when we've visited and read about things because I feel that we should have a large enough community of high-level thinkers that we will fit in. In reference to DS, that makes me wonder whether he will ever fit in completely regardless of the grade-skipping. I don't want to *not* skip if he's going to be socially awkward anyway. In your example, I know that teachers told my mom that I had a hard time working with other children because they processed slower than I did. I'm not sure that grade-skipping or not would have fixed that problem, and in that case, then obviously the best academic fit wins out for me.

[ChristaN]

It's hard to know how she would have fit in without the skip.  Like you, I am a bit adrift myself.  I don't have a large group of friends where we live.  The people I've clicked with the most have been a few people from my local Mensa group with whom I get together maybe once/month for coffee, but they're mostly men in my age range (30s-40s) and I can't call them to chat being married and all (it would be odd).

Pre-skip, like I said, dd wasn't being picked on and the other kids liked her.  The main issues I saw were that she had a bit of a hero worship thing going where other kids wrote dedications to dd on their work ([dd] inspired me to _____), and that she liked the other kids but didn't feel like she was hanging out with peers a lot.  There were a few people who felt like peers but with a lot of them it seemed to be that she felt like she was hanging out with nice younger kids even though they were her age or older.  The majority of her close friends with whom she has real rapport right now are 1.5 - 2 yrs older than she and are moderately to highly gifted.  Dd is highly gifted but not PG.

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by ChristaN 

It's hard to know how she would have fit in without the skip.  Like you, I am a bit adrift myself.  I don't have a large group of friends where we live.  The people I've clicked with the most have been a few people from my local Mensa group with whom I get together maybe once/month for coffee, but they're mostly men in my age range (30s-40s) and I can't call them to chat being married and all (it would be odd).

Pre-skip, like I said, dd wasn't being picked on and the other kids liked her.  The main issues I saw were that she had a bit of a hero worship thing going where other kids wrote dedications to dd on their work ([dd] inspired me to _____), and that she liked the other kids but didn't feel like she was hanging out with peers a lot.  There were a few people who felt like peers but with a lot of them it seemed to be that she felt like she was hanging out with nice younger kids even though they were her age or older.  The majority of her close friends with whom she has real rapport right now are 1.5 - 2 yrs older than she and are moderately to highly gifted.  Dd is highly gifted but not PG.

I wish MENSA even had more than a couple of people in our area. :( My SIL has a wonderful MENSA group near her, and it's a lifeline for her to have those people.

My post this morning was jumbled because I'm just really struggling with this whole issue, and it's a mix of my issues and my son's issues. I need to separate them. Bleh.

Yes, DS has the hero worship thing going. He sits at an all girls' table, and his teacher said that she thinks of them as "his little harem" because they all just adore him. TBH, he has a bit of a God complex himself, and it's getting more pronounced as he's told that he's not allowed to answer more questions or participate in activities because he'll always win. He is very aware of where he is compared to everyone else. His teacher said that she has 4 "really bright" kids, but that DS is very different in terms of what she believes is his true capacity and his ability to absorb information at such a high rate.

His school uses the IXL math program. I've let DS skip to the second grade section, and he's still breezing through. I do see some content areas (the site is geared to our specific state's standards) that he doesn't know. I'm pretty sure he'll breeze through them once I explain the terms or show him the concepts, but it feels closer to "right."
 

[Tigerle]

Originally Posted by ChristaN 

Pre-skip, like I said, dd wasn't being picked on and the other kids liked her.  The main issues I saw were that she had a bit of a hero worship thing going where other kids wrote dedications to dd on their work ([dd] inspired me to _____), and that she liked the other kids but didn't feel like she was hanging out with peers a lot. 

Originally Posted by VisionaryMom 

Yes, DS has the hero worship thing going. He sits at an all girls' table, and his teacher said that she thinks of them as "his little harem" because they all just adore him. TBH, he has a bit of a God complex himself, and it's getting more pronounced as he's told that he's not allowed to answer more questions or participate in activities because he'll always win. He is very aware of where he is compared to everyone else.

i think this sounds very scary and very detrimental for a child's development. .Christa, I wonder whether it was the teacher that put the kids up to writing these dedications by holding your DD up as a role model? How did you address it - did it just disappear after the skip?

Sigh. just goes to show how importnat it is that these kids find a group of intellectual peers *somewhere*.

[ChristaN]

The kids were asked to write dedications on their poetry books and we heard some of them at a poetry reading.  I don't believe that the teacher was putting dd up as an example nor that she intended these dedications to be directed toward dd (and certainly plenty were directed toward family and teachers as well).  Dd is an excellent writer and has won some writing contests, so I do have to admit that her poetry was likely impressive for the other kids of that grade, but I don't want her in a spot of being looked up to that much.

It does seem that she has been more of a peer than a role model since the skip.  She's still in the 99th percentile in many areas but she fits more in line with the other GT kids now.