when they run off and don't stop.

[MrsBone]

Hey everyone. I need some advice. I'm having a hard time with my 2 year old running off and not stopping when I tell him to stop. He's getting much better at not running in the street(we've been working hard at this one), but like at the park today, it was a wide open area, with sidewalks, which was fine, I don't think he could have gotten hurt or anything, but when I was saying it was time to leave, he hopped on his little car and took off fast in the other direction. I kept yelling at him to stop, but was way ahead of me at this point, and was laughing. So I ran after him. He got up to this bridge(not much water below, but if he fell, I would have had to jump in there after him). In cases like this, what do you do? I mean for me, running in the street is not optional. It's a no, and he knows that. What would you do in cases like these when they think you are just playing a game with them. I had to pick him up and his car (and I'm 30 weeks pregnant) and walk him back to the car, screaming and wiggling out the whole time because when I took his car away he melted down on the ground and started crying. I told him, okay, mommy's leaving, and started walking off, and he wouldn't get up and follow, no matter how far away I got. So yeah..advice?

[chel]

i'm realizing my dd2 is a runner. i have no clue how to stop it, but if i were you i wouldn't let him use the car where he can get far.

[pianojazzgirl]

Originally Posted by chel 

i wouldn't let him use the car where he can get far.

This is key!  Basically if you know your LO is a runner you need to make sure that they will not get the chance to run away from you.  IMO this is a cut and dry safety issue. When walking on sidewalks I'd institute a rule of "must hold hands" or put ds in a carrier or stroller (or use the ever-contentious "leash" if that's something you'd want to do).  I'd give him free-run only in places I knew he couldn't get anywhere unsafe (say in a fenced-in playground) and/or that I could keep up with him.  To give him a chance to practice listening I'd play "stop and go" or "red light green light" with him.

We have a trike with what we call the "mommy and daddy handle" attached.  Is it possible you could attach a make-shift handle to his little car for you to hold onto?  Or maybe look for one (or a trike) that has one?

The running away phase will pass.  For now just keep him safe, and make life easy on yourself (so you don't have a repeat of 30wk pg you sprinting after him and having to lug him and his car around).  Maybe free-running in the park is ok, but save the car for fenced-in areas.

ETA in the case of the park, maybe one other thing you could do is give him some well-defined boundaries before you let him run around.  You said that when he ran off in his car and you started after him he thought you guys were playing a fun chase game.  Perhaps if you put on your serious mommy voice and let him know ahead of time exactly what your expectations are (and remember to repeat often so he doesn't forget) if he does happen to go "out of bounds" your yelling after him might twig him to remember that ooops... he's gone a bit too far, as opposed to making him think woo hoo we're playing the chase game!

[tzs]

we haven't been there yet but.....

on supernanny, jojo had the kids practicing stop and go as a game for the runaway kids that didn't listen.

(i don;t usually get my parenting advice from the tv )

[oregonianmama]

I have a 17 month old who is a runner as well. We try to play games that involve the words "start" and "stop", kind of like a younger version of red light, green light. I yell "start" and we run really silly, then i yell "stop" and we stop dead in our tracks. We play this game on our walks in safe areas. There have been a few times where he approaching an unsafe area and i have yelled "stop" and he freezes and giggles just long enough for me to pick him up or grab his hand. Don't know if it's the best tactic but it is working for us so far.

[MrsBone]

oh wow, thanks for all the great suggestions!

[pranava]

Thanks for asking this question!  No advice from me!  Mine is a runner too.  I've even hidden behind things in stores and let him just keep wandering or running to see how long it would take before he got scared to be separated from me.  Nope, he doesn't care!!  Is that normal?  In a way I'm glad he feels so safe and confident in the world, but geez! 

[physmom]

Oh, man, DD went through a HORRIBLE, horrible running away stage. It just happened to coincide with an international flight that we were taking and while we were waiting to board she took off down the entryway to the plane and tried to board!!! Of course, then I had to run after her both pregnant and with a huge backpack on, pick her up and drag her back with a million onlookers while I give her a stern lecture about not running away, especially not onto some random airplane!!!

Since then we have a pretty strict hand holding rule in public.  We've relaxed a bit in some places that we know are safer and also because she's calmed down a bit about it.  We have found that running with her helps (as in if she's in a running mood we got a street that never has cars on it and run along side her on the side walk).  She gets some running in and I'd rather teach her to run with us than away from us.