dd hid car keys

[catinthehat]

My dd who is 4.5yo hid the car keys without my knowledge the other day.  My husband and I looked everywhere and I figured I had lost them outside.  I called a locksmith and had new ones made along with new house keys.  It cost $100.  That evening, I looked in our bowl where we keep things like keys, and there were the old car keys!!!  I confronted dd about it(because I knew I had checked in that bowl 10 times before looking for the keys), and she said she had put them back in the bowl, and that they had been hidden in her room.  I asked her why she hid the keys in her room, and she said she was angry with me so she hid my keys.  I don't know what she was angry about, she couldn't tell me.  I explained to her in a very serious way that it cost a lot of money to get new keys made, and that it wasn't okay to hide other peoples things when she is angry.  I didn't know what else to do, so I left it at that.  How would you all have dealt with this?  I would also love to know how you would deal with a 4.5yo telling you to "shut up" when she is angry.  It seems to just "come out" uncontrollably because she gets so mad at me when I enforce a rule.  I feel strongly that I don't want my child to tell me to shut up, but not sure how to enforce it?

[Drummer's Wife]

With kids, especially younger ones, our solution is to keep car keys on top of the fridge (or in my purse which is put up). 

I don't have any advice on how to deal with your DD regarding hiding them, lying about it, and telling you to shut up.  Hopefully others will chime in.  I've just learned that with four kids and places you have to be at certain times, missing car keys is super stressful. 

[mom2grrls]

Like the other suggestion I would keep keys out of reach.  As for the shut up she may just not have the right words to describe how she's feeling so she just bursts out with that.  If she's sleeping well(as that can cause angry outbursts) give her other words to use.  Or you could suggest that she draw how she's feeling.  The outburst may still happen but as she matures and you work with her, she'll get there.

[woodchick]

This isn't directly related, but did you ask your DD if she had seen your keys?  My 4.5year old often knows where things are that I can't find.  It also would have given her the opportunity to come clean before things got too heated.

[catinthehat]

Thanks everyone for the replies.  I did ask her right away if she knew where the keys were.  I let her know I wouldn't be upset if she told me where they were.  She said "no" she hadn't seen them.  

So, I will keep them up high from now on!  I also came up with several things last nigh to work on in regards to my parenting.  I feel like if I don't stay on it, I lose it, just like playing an instrument or something.  I have been putting my energy elsewhere for a while now, so I realize I need to change some of my behaviors first.  

I am so grateful to have a place like MDC to feel my parenting choices are reaffirmed.