Sleep Help, Crying when leaving

[VEV]

My DD will be 18 months next week and we don't co-sleep and we are still night nursing.  She has no problem curling up in her room and closing her eyes but as soon as I walk out the door it's full on screaming!  I will go back in to let her know I'm close by etc etc and she will lay back down and drift off, I exit she screams.... we go on like this forever nursing here and there to calm her down. She will sleep if I sit in her room with her.  I can't go on like this, I don't have hours every night to stay with her and I haven't had more than a dozen good nights sleep in 18 months.  She has been waking up about 3 times a night (I think it's got to do with teething right now).  Naps are a nightmare too, I'm really just at a total loss :(

I'm not anti co-sleeping but it hasn't worked for us in the past.  DD spends the whole night attached to my boob or jumping up and down on the bed not allowing any of us to get any sleep.

I work full time so the evening and night is the only time she gets to nurse so we've been holding on tight to that time.  Do you think this is adding to the problem at this point? We are not ready to wean but should I handle night nursing differently?

It breaks my heart that sleep is such an issue for her!  The crying causes me so much anxiety.  Thanks for the help!

[MamaPhD]

Have you tried staying with her until she falls asleep?  You might be surprised how fast she falls asleep if she knows that you stayed!  My DD fell asleep by herself (she nursed, I put her in the crib awake, walked out, and then she fell asleep on her own with no complaints) from about 9-10 months old.  At around 20 months, she wanted me to stay until she fell asleep.  If I left she would cry and wanted to read ore books, wanted to go eat a yogurt, etc, etc, obviously to keep me there and take forever and ever.  But if we just did our routine (some stories, warm milk, then bed) and I stayed in the room, she would fall asleep within like 5-10 minutes, many times even less!  I think this is around the age where the cognitive abilities get advanced enough to process "i miss mommy" type of thought, especially if you're at work during the day.  So still at 27 months, I stay in DD's room until she falls asleep and then walk out.  Sometimes she wakes up at night and calls out for me, then I go back and tell her "mommy is right here and mommy will always come if you need a hug".  We cuddle for like 30 seconds, and she is able to fall asleep.  I don't mind doing that at all when she needs it.  Give it a try!

[Smilesarefree]

If you don't see her all day then you probably don't want to give up anytime with her when you are home but I will tell you what worked for us - we had a similar problem I would put her to bed every night and she would be fine until I left the room, I tried everything I could think off, I would even lay on her floor with my hand through the crib touching her and she would be fine and I would think she was asleep and try and leave and she would cry.  Then I had my appendix out and while I was in the hospital dh had to take over nighttimes and it worked, it just magically worked.  So when I came home he continued putting her to bed for about 2 months until I went back to work and then I took over putting her to bed again because I wanted all of the time I could get with her and there has been no trouble since.  We go through our routine and I put in her in bed awake and leave and 99% of the time she doesn't cry out.  It never would have occured to us that dh wouldn't have the same problem putting her down.