help- breast-crazy 16 mo nurser

[mommy212]

My son has been breastfeed all his life, but now he is becoming OBSESSED with them! After he is done nursing he cries when i put them back up because he wants to play with them and stare at them and pinch me. It drives me nuts! We have always taken baths together as a nice way to unwind in the day, but now I hate them because all he does is try to pinch and play with my breasts and cries when i hide them. When he is sleeping and stops nursing, he immediatly puts his hand over my nipple and usually wakes up if I move it. This is not doable! If I can't fix this i will have to wean him- i have always hated being touched at all and hd to get over that to BF in the first place but it just annoys me so much!

[princesstutu]

First of all, ::hugs:: and kudos to you for getting through your issues with being touched in order to nurse your son.  And, for 16 months!  That's really fantastic.

Your son is going thru a pretty normal phase.  But, this is a relationship...a nursing relationship.  So you both get to get your needs met. 

I suggest you make changes that you feel will give him less access to your breasts, but still keep you feeling connected and able to continue the nursing relationship.

So, I'd stop bathing with him, if I were you.  I bathe with my 12 month old and she has to nurse every time we're in the tub.  She has to.  At times, I have not allowed her in the tub with me b/c I didn't feel like dealing with nursing her while I enjoyed my bath.  She screamed her head off, but I felt calm and at peace b/c I decided not to internalize her emotions and I knew she was safe. 

If I were you, I would also disallow the touching and pinching of my breasts.  I would hold his hands in mine and talk soothingly to him, telling him that he can nurse (and caress the breast he's nursing from if he wants to...but not the other breast at the same time) and I will hold his hand.  If he fought me or screamed or somehow acted out in response to not being able to fiddle with my breasts, I would unlatch him, put him down, and go do something I want/need to get done. 

This type of thing is often the first opportunity for a serious battle between mama and child.  That's okay!  He needs to know what your boundaries are if he's to respect them.  And, you must remain diligent in protecting your boundaries if he's to respect them. 

You can do this!  He will learn what you will and will not allow b/c you will let him know and you will remain consistent in teaching him, even if it takes hours a day and he screams at you, etc.  Consistency is the key. 

Good luck, mama!  It'll probably be easier than you think it might be.

[hildare]

my 16 mo dd just took her first solo bath yesterday, so, i (of course) feel that that's pretty appropriate at that age-- of course i was right beside the tub but not actually in it!

you could try a nursing tank, too, so that only one side was exposed and the cloth would be tight enough to prevent grabbing.  dd has the grabby hands sometimes, too. 

explain that nursies or boobies or whatever you call them are 'only for nursing' and firmly put them away when you're done.  there may be screaming (we get it too) but there's no reason to let your lo make you uncomfortable.  distraction could work, too, if you had a favorite toy hidden that you could pop out when you're nearing the end of a bf session.

[D_McG]

Time for limits! I never allow anything other than just nursing. No pulling, twiddling, nothing. I'd also stop bathing with him

Yes, he'll cry but as a toddler tantrums are to be expected. He'll learn the new rules and life can continue