I'm a first time mom. Maybe I'm too thinned skin (does it thicken up with babies cause I'm due in July?) but since DD hit 13 months I feel like my days are filled with nothing but her bossing me around, screaming, and cleaning up messes. I often wonder why I left a good career to stay with her. It makes me feel guilty to even say that because I love her more than life itself, and I wouldn't have it any other way, but my God! Really!?
Bossing around. . .by that I mean we do what she wants to do and/or the screaming starts. She's just not being vocal; she's screaming at me. I don't know how to communicate to her that mama doesn't want to be screamed at. I meet her needs. I pick up her cues. She signs, she points, she uses the words she knows, I understand her body language and I act on all these things, BUT when I need to get something done. . .like pee, or put the laundry away, or unload the dishwasher there is an utter meltdown. I wear her as much as I can while doing chores. I put her on the kitchen counter so she can watch me work. I involve her in EVERYTHING. I dialogue with her ALLLLLLLL day long. I'm so talked out by the time DH wants to talk I can't muster the words. I'm meeting her every need and it feels like it isn't enough. If she's on the counter watching me chop veggies, and I need to move her because I'm not there with her, I explain this to her, I tell her I'm going to move her and why, and blah! Let the screaming begin. If we are in the fridge getting milk and we need to close the door I ask her if she'd like to close the door with me, blah! Let the meltdown begin because we aren't allowed to climb INTO the fridge.
I want to enjoy my daughter. Maybe I can if someone tells me this is NORMAL behavior. I would love to stop saying to her "Stop yelling at mama. Mama doesn't yell at you, please don't yell at me." This isn't working. She understands, trust me. This child understands everything I'm saying. She is very, very bright. Any suggestions.
If I'm boo hooing, and need to buck up you can say that too. Just know that I'm with her alone every day. DH travels M-F so it is DD and I. I don't have help. I'm looking on care.com for someone to come in when the baby is arrives, but really feel like I should be able to handle DD alone. Typically we are GREAT.
I'm rambling. Sorry, and thank you.