When did/would you allow your kids to go around your town without you? - Page 2

[NikonMama]

My DS is 12 (turned in Jan) and he has been allowed free roam for about 2 years or so, but if he's going to the park (5-6 blocks) or into someone's house he needs to tell me so I know where he is at in case I need him.  He doesn't go to school with the kids in our neighborhood, so he only knows less than a handful of kids that only live on our block and has no real reason to go too far from our house.  The neighborhood school is on the complete opposite side of the neighborhood (12+ blocks) away so I don't feel comfortable letting him go that far yet.  He's a scatterbrain and I'm afraid he wouldn't find his way back b/c the path to the school is crazy.  He's been able to wander the block (we back up to a major road) and the one next to us for quite a few years.  I'm really not worried about something happening to him, he's just not very mature.  He is allowed to go down to the grocery store and gas station which are about as far as the park, but he doesn't have to cross any big streets.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

We live in an upper-middle class suburb of a large city.  My 11 YO is allowed to ride his bike within about a 6 block radius (including stopping to play at the neighborhood park), with his cell phone.  Next year I fully expect him to get himself to and from middle school on his own.  At the moment they go to school a full 30 minute car ride away, so its not an option, but I'd let them walk/ride if they were in the neighborhood school.

My 8 YO is allowed to walk/ride to friend's houses within about 2 blocks of ours and has been allowed to do so for about 2 years.  She may ride around the neighborhood with her brother.  They may both play in an undeveloped strip of land between our houses and the ones behind us.  I expect she'll get a cell phone in the next year or so and her range will expand to match her brothers.  I routinely drop them off for various activities/classes without accompanying them inside.  And they've been allowed playdates without me (but with the other parent supervising) since they were about 4.  They have played outside without me (fenced backyard) since they were 2 or 3.

While I think a lot does depend on the individual child and the environment, in general I feel like many parents are so over-protective and over-fearful that I wonder how their children will ever learn to navigate the world independently.  I do like the security of knowing DS has his cell phone and can call me if anything happens or if he is uncomfortable about anything.  He has demonstrated that he can keep his head and deal with emergencies (DD was hit by a car while they were scootering together last summer -- he called us and 911 right away.)  My own mother drives me nuts -- we certainly ran much further afield without supervision at the age of my children, yet she won't even let them play in the park without being about arms length away. 

[CatsCradle]

I always take comfort in the idea that "common sense is my friend."  I could really care less about statistics, books written, etc.  What is relevant to me is the time, place, maturity of the child.  The types of precautions that may be relevant (or not) in my former hometown of 50,000 are not necessarily applicable to my current town of 8 million. 

DD is 4.5 and I can honestly say that she could effectively travel around the greater neighborhood (and into cross neighborhoods) without getting lost or confused.  She knows her way around on buses and subways.  She knows a lot of people in the immediate neighborhood and she is quite the extrovert.  Despite this, I don't think she has the maturity yet to deal with certain situations and while she is capable of looking both ways before crossing the street, she doesn't have the caution meter for dealing with the insane traffic around here.  She needs more time to develop these skills, and I don't feel that I'm being overprotective for making sure that she has those skills in place before she sets out on her own unsupervised.  If we were in a less trafficked area I wouldn't mind increasing the radius.  As it stands, one really has to be on the defensive everytime one steps outside.  I know what my days are like getting around this place and I wouldn't give DD that much responsibility yet.

I'm not going to base my decision to let her "roam" based on age milestones.  Rather, as she matures and becomes more accutely aware of her surroundings, then we'll let her venture further on her own.  Maybe that will be in six months, maybe two years.  Don't know. 

[stanleytapp]

I think we as a parent should be with our children till they dont realize that they are mature enough to stay out with out us.Age does not matter.Some times small children gets more maturity than the younger ones and some time reverse case I have also seen.