Do you sleep in your kid's bed?

[sarahsmiles]

Right before DS was born, we made a conscious decision that when DD woke, one of us would come to her instead of her coming to our bed because we were hoping this would limit the motivation to come to our bed and help everyone (including the baby) sleep better.

Now, nearly 2 years later, I end up sleeping most of the night in a twin mattress on the floor with a flip-floppy 4 year old who hates the covers and keeps pushing me off the bed. I usually *intend* to go back to our bed, but fall asleep helping her back to sleep, or I just get tired of several wake-ups and decide to wait it out. Meanwhile, DH and DS are living the high life in our natural latex king size with the awesome pillows and the yummy down comforter.

Having all 4 of us in the bed for any length of time is not an option for us. The kids are just too big and kick, push, etc. way too much. Both kids start out in their own beds, so DH & I usually get a LITTLE bit of time to ourselves, but I really miss my grown up bed and I don't think the kids' sleep patterns are going to change any time soon.

I guess I'm trying to decide if we should accept this and get DD (and probably DS while we are at it) a bigger bed, or try to summon the will to make changes.

[cdmommie]

Yes, at some point in the night one of us usually ends up in our 3yr old DD's bed.   But we already knew this would end up happening so we just got her a really good full size mattress.  It works fine for us.  We usually wait until about midnight so that we have plenty of Mommy Daddy time ;)

[D_McG]

I have a 4 and 2 year old and I'm expecting our 3rd (and last). The expectation is that the 4 year old sleeps alone in his bed and the 2 year old sleeps with us but not for long more. I will go sleep with DS if he's sick or on a very rare night when he has a bad dream (like last night). I think it's worth sucking up a few nights of drama and just sitting in a chair while she falls back to sleep instead of getting in bed with her. It only took one (very long, very hard!) night with DS. We really try to have the setup here that mommies and daddies sleep together. When they were smaller sometimes we'd all sleep together but now it's just not practical especially with my pregnancy.

For us anyway sleeping with the kids in their beds is an exception. I wouldn't want them to get used to it. I don't know why it's so important to me but it just feels like the balance is 'off' if the parents don't sleep together. Maybe silly, IDK and certainly not something I care about in other people's houses. Just important to me.

[mamaforever]

Right now I regularly sleep in our 2 year old's bed.  When we moved into our new house last summer, we took the opportunity to get him set up sleeping in his own room (rather than in our bed).  We got a queen size mattress and have it on the floor.  I know queen is big for a 2 year old, but I knew I would be sleeping there with him for a long time.  For a while I was starting out the night with DH and then would move when DS cried out for me, but now I just start out the night there hoping for a continuous night's sleep (which happens every once in a while, but not very often!).  And also because DH now works nights, I want that company during the night.   We are going to TTC starting this summer, so when the new baby comes, that's when we need to make some decisions about our sleeping arrangement.  But I'm not stressing about it right now.

How old is your DS?  Eventually when your DS is older, the two kids may sleep well together on a full or queen.  They might be comfortable with each other's company and not need you with them anymore.  Well, it's a hopeful thought.

[heather+mike2005]

I do!  I sleep with DS (he's 2) on a queen size mattress in his room.  It's much safer than the mattress on my bed which is very high off the ground and we have hardwood floors.   I've been with him every night for as long as he has been on this earth and as much as I love it I'm ready to be done.  Please don't take that the wrong way!  I miss my bed!  Plus, I'm ttc bebe #2 so it behooves me to be in my own bed, right? 

That said, my DH and I took DS to pick out his big boy bed and it should be arriving in the next couple of weeks.  I'm letting him pick out the bedding and I'm trying to get him excited about it.  He seems to be so I hope it works! 

Good luck to you!

[HeartfullyHappy]

I just wandered onto this site to find some tips for our sleep issues and am happy to see others with this "issue". I have so many friends who think I have lost my mind (most without kids, but some with) and yes, I sleep with DD in her bed.

DD has a pretty late bed time and always has. DH wakes up at 4 am or earlier and is the lightest sleeper I have met. If I brought DD to bed with him/us at 9-10 pm, he would not get any sleep because he seems to have some magnetic pull that puts DD's feet in his ribcage every.time all night long. When we converted DD to a big girl bed, we got a full mattress because that's the size her crib converted to (she hated the toddler bed setup using the crib mattress). We ended up putting it on the floor for now. I used to lay down in the bed with her, then move to my bed with DH. At some point, DD was waking at 3-5 am and would not go back down easily. I found that by sleeping in there with her, she stayed asleep through that time frame. Plus, I always fall asleep so I was sick of having to fall asleep twice in a night. Since I stay up past DH's bed time anyway, it's not preventing us from going to bed together, and if it keeps her feet out of his ribs, he's pretty happy. On the weekends when we are able to sleep in if she wakes us, he will come and wake me up and I will move to our bed. Unless he wants a full night's sleep - then he tells me to stay in there. LOL Sure, sometimes it's a drag on our us time but I feel like we are making the decision that gets the most sleep for everyone in our family so we have to do what we have to do.

[reezley]

Originally Posted by HeartfullyHappy 

I just wandered onto this site to find some tips for our sleep issues and am happy to see others with this "issue". I have so many friends who think I have lost my mind (most without kids, but some with) and yes, I sleep with DD in her bed.

DD has a pretty late bed time and always has. DH wakes up at 4 am or earlier and is the lightest sleeper I have met. If I brought DD to bed with him/us at 9-10 pm, he would not get any sleep because he seems to have some magnetic pull that puts DD's feet in his ribcage every.time all night long. When we converted DD to a big girl bed, we got a full mattress because that's the size her crib converted to (she hated the toddler bed setup using the crib mattress). We ended up putting it on the floor for now. I used to lay down in the bed with her, then move to my bed with DH. At some point, DD was waking at 3-5 am and would not go back down easily. I found that by sleeping in there with her, she stayed asleep through that time frame. Plus, I always fall asleep so I was sick of having to fall asleep twice in a night. Since I stay up past DH's bed time anyway, it's not preventing us from going to bed together, and if it keeps her feet out of his ribs, he's pretty happy. On the weekends when we are able to sleep in if she wakes us, he will come and wake me up and I will move to our bed. Unless he wants a full night's sleep - then he tells me to stay in there. LOL Sure, sometimes it's a drag on our us time but I feel like we are making the decision that gets the most sleep for everyone in our family so we have to do what we have to do.

This is us.  If we all want a good night's sleep, it works best for me to be in ds2's bed.  Ds2 is 4yo and his bed is a full bed (edited to say: used to be on the floor, recently got a real bed).  I sometimes start out the night in the "big bed" with dh in the master bedroom but 9 times out of 10 I end up waking up and having to help ds2 get back down to sleep in the other room - he still wakes up at some point and is often all disoriented, half-asleep whining/crying.   So during the weekdays I just go to sleep in ds2's bed. It's really my bed too for all intents and purposes. And he's a really easy kid to sleep next to (compared to ds1...who I haven't coslept with since he was 2) since he sleeps well, doesn't shift around much, doesn't need to be touching me all night or insist that I'm facing him, etc.  DS1 is 6 and has his own twin bed, starts there and often sleeps there all night, but many nights goes to dh's bed in the middle of the night.   I will welcome the day that both kids can sleep well independently - but for now I'm just trying to get the best sleep I can!

[vrclay]

Um, yup, I often fall asleep in my 3YOs toddler! bed while snuggling him back to sleep in the middle of the night. 

[MelW]

My name is Mel, and our "family bed" is a bunk bed. (and the crowd says... Hi Mel!)

My youngest and husband have never slept well together, so when we moved a year ago we went with bunkbeds for the kids. I start the night with my husband (in what the kids call "dad's bed") and I join the youngest in her bed when she calls for me during the night. Our oldest sleeps on the top bunk, and really likes to have me there in the morning when she wakes up, and often crawls in with us for early morning cuddles. That said, I much prefer our mattress to the one we have on the bunkbeds, so if I was to do it again I'd invest in a better mattress for her- it seems fine with her light weight, but isn't really designed for someone over 100lbs.

It works for us right now- we've always been very flexible co-sleepers- everyone sleeps where they can get the most/best sleep, and that arrangement changes periodically.

[sarah1122]

I fall asleep with my son at night and usually make a bleary eyed trek from his bed to mine sometime around 2am.

We put his bed (a twin size mattress and box spring on the floor) in our room and if he wakes up at night he just comes in and snuggles in with us without waking us.

[Summersquash]

DD has a queen mattress on her floor.  I start out the night with DH in our bed and then go in to DD when she calls out for me.  So DD and I wake up together in the mornings and she calls over the monitor for Daddy to come in and snuggle with us.

[penstamon]

Unfortunately either DH or I end up in DS's bed at least a few times a week.  It used to be everyday since we moved him to his own bed at 15mo.  Now he is 20mo and we have been working on him falling back to sleep while we sit next to his bed.  But like last night he would not settle for over an hour so I ended up in bed with him.  It sucks because I am hugely pregnant (34w) and don't sleep well with him.  I think my presence also wakes him up some.  I do love cuddling with him in the morning but we really have to stop this sleeping in his bed!