We are living with my parents who have very different ideas about discipline than I do. I have not read many books about GD but I try to
-understand dc's point of view
-ignore some behaviors as they are age appropriate
-focus on what they are doing well
-pick my battles which sometimes means I change my mind and "give in"
-allow transition time from their dad's house and here (which can be wild)
-help them follow directions
-lead by example
-use time - in first, they are dealing w/ emoitional stuff as a result of divorce. I think a lot of their undesirable behavior stems from that.
My parents intervene in my discipline. I have tried setting boundries about this and it has fallen on deaf ears or they adhere to the boundries for a time and then start acting like the parents themselves.
For example, this morning, dd was whining at the table. I was reminding her to use a pleasant voice when she needs something as I am always happy to help. My mom swoops in from the other room, picks up dd and places her in time out. Mom stayed with dd duirng this time and dd did get the point that mom wanted her to stop whining. But a) I hate the authoritian attitude and b) this is really my job and not hers.
Later today, we all went to pick up dc's birthday cake. Originally, I had said that dc could not hold their cakes until we got home. Dd began to cry and scream about this and I changed my mind. Thinking that she was excited about her 3rd cake and wanted to look at it and it really wasn't a big deal. My dad is up front telling me to stay firm. I said I wanted to pick my battles and this was not my hill to die on. My mom snidely asked what battles did I pick?
So as you can probably tell, there are other issues at play here than my parents stepping in when they shouldn't. Are there quick responses I can give them as to why I gd w/o making them feel like I am insulting their parenting style?