The twiddling has to stop!

[red and lulu]

I am having a really hard time addressing 19mo dd's insistent twiddling. I've been able to nip the other undesirable toddler nursing behaviors in the bud, but this one she just won't let up on and it is becoming a huge issue for me. I hate nursing because of it.

I've read a couple suggestions here in the past, like teaching her "flat hand," but it doesn't work. She wants to roll my nipple between her fingers. If I cover the other side she reaches into my shirt. She screams if I hold my hand over it. What else can I do? I want to nurse her for a long time coming but I can't take the twiddling anymore.

[Chamomile Girl]

I have no advice, but I am soooo there with you! I always keep one boob covered because of the twiddling, but now DS will just shove his hand under my shirt and like your DD he will freak if I try to redirect him. I have now taken to saying "one boobie at a time" like a freaking mantra every time I stop his roving hand, which seems to help but doesn't stop him really.

This is of course in addition to kicking me and twisting around in a complete circle like a circus acrobat with my nipple in his mouth. Owie!

This is on top of wanting to nurse 345,000 times a day (which I finally figured out was because he was hungry...so I've upped the solids to a mighty amount).

But man! Being a mother to a toddler makes me .

[lookatreestar]

another twiddler here too. my dd didn't even start, around 4 mos i started putting a lovey in her hand. but this kid, he is something else, he will just throw loveys across the room. he wants nothing but a nipple to twiddle. sometimes i can handle it more than others, plus he goes to sleep faster. just wanted to commiserate.

[myorianna]

Have you tried using nursing beads, aka "booby beads".  May be a little late to start, but it can't hurt.  When  DD started doing that, I quickly ordered two online and started wearing them- she was so entranced in the beads that she wanted to play with them instead of my other boob...  Just another thought - good luck!

[ElliesMomma]

sigh. 

some kids are just twiddlers.

but you don't have to take it. i say, protect yourself, cover it up, and let him cry about it. he'll give up on it sooner or later, and keep nursing.

Edited by ElliesMomma - 5/28/11 at 11:16pm

[maptome]

I'm right there with you, and I have yet to find any suggestions that work.  DD is 19 months and she needs a nipple between her fingers to fall asleep.  And she throws loveys, also.  She does not fall back asleep unless I give in.  She woken up for the day 5 hours early.

I'm planning on night weaning because I can't handle it anymore.  I had previously planned on doing Jay Gordon's method, but I'm not sure how I would treat the twiddling.

Oh, I'm just now realizing in my sleep-deprived state that y'all are all possibly talking about daytime nursing?  For that, I just covered up my boob with my hand, let her get upset, and end the nursing session.  She was old enough so that I didn't worry about any nutritive consequences.  She learned pretty quickly, within a week.

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by ElliesMomma 

protect yourself, cover it up, and let him cry about it. he'll give up on it sooner or later, and keep nursing.

yup. to me it was like a hand on a hot stove. Never allowed, ever. Move the hand and then stop if they don't stop. Tantrums, whining whatever. It was me or them and I'd rather listen to a tantrum than have one myself

[mamafever]

oh boy! I am right here with ya! My 2 1/2 year old has been such a twiddler forever and I guess Ijust got kind of used to it unless we were around other people it made me a little uncomfortable...but now I am 15 weeks pregnant and I CAN NOT STAND even a touch near my boobs!!!! I need some help on this one. I am actually considering weaning because of it. I seriously want to throw him off of me it is so irritating! ha! That sounds dramatic, but it is sadly true. Any advice? A pep talk? :)

[xzaviers_mama]

Ugh... I feel everyone's pain.  I'm nursing my 3 year old and my 18 month old... AND I'm about 8 weeks pregnant.  I absolutely cannot stand the twiddling!  My 18 month old is the only one who does it... but that, paired with the fact that I'm CONSTANTLY nursing someone, is just too much for my preggo nipples to handle.  

I do put my hand over my other boob, my oh my... he gets so aggressive trying to dig into my shirt/under my hand... makes me insane!  

[intime0]

Ellies mom I laughed out loud when I read your post.  OH MAN.  I have a 5 year old like that!!!!

i came over here to post about the twiddling.  I am glad to find others.

mine is weird though.  she doesnt twiddle the opposite nipple but the one she is nursing. she stops nursing and sucks her fingers while twiddling.  man, i'm going bonkers.  and if I'm anywhere near where she is she wants to "nurse".  I put that in quotes cause it's not so much nursing as twiddling/nursing.  maybe just nursing wouldnt drive me bonkers, maybe it would.

glad to know i'm not theh only one. 

[intime0]

mamafever, tandem nursing is a dream.  You will get past this phase.  It will get better.  Right now there is too much touching...i remember those feelings.  If you have to wean, do it. DOnt feel bad about it.  But if you are looking forward to tandem nursing, here is what i did at that stage.

My 2 year old could count to 10...and guess how she learned it.  When she wanted to nurse and it wasnt nap time or bed time and I knew she wasnt hungry and only wanted to reconnect, I counted to 10.  When I got to ten I fastened everything up.  Sometimes she cried, but not usually.  And I'd quickly redirect.

I never laid down beside her unless I was ready to nurse.

I kept sippy cup filled with water because sometimes she was just thristy.

I tried to read to her if I thought it was a matter of reconnecting. 

Sometimes I would make her stand and nurse and that would make her go quicker too.  LOL.

Many times I would do it as long as I could stand and then count.

but once I had her brother, I was so glad I managed to hang on.

[batsister]

My 19-month-old does this with my belly button, including digging his little finger nails in really hard.  It hurts and drives me nuts!  In his case, I think it is part habit, part obsession with belly buttons.  (He is just obsessed with my belly button (or any belly button) in general).  I have started putting a band-aid over my belly button, and also redirecting him to play with his own (sometimes that works).  Other than that, I do what others have done and just hold his hand/prevent him from poking/gouging/prying (despite his protests).  The nursing necklace/beads are a good idea.

[prothyraia]

Originally Posted by ElliesMomma 
sigh. 

some kids are just twiddlers.

but you don't have to take it. i say, protect yourself, cover it up, and let him cry about it. he'll give up on it sooner or later, and keep nursing.

My 2 1/2 year old hasn't nursed in 6 months, and he STILL tries to twiddle the mole on my chin when he's falling asleep, and screams when I cover it. 

[susannahva]

My almost 3-year-old does it, too... First I try removing her hand, then covering up with my hand or arm & if she persists I ask her if she wants to stop nursing (which she doesn't), and that usually puts a stop to it, at least for a while.  So maybe just putting her down & ending the nursing session whenever it happens will help her to learn it is not acceptable to you.  Good luck!!!