Thanks everyone for your suggestions. There's actually a few things in there that we haven't tried....of course, for a minute there I thought we weren't going to have to try anything because he had a few miraculous nights of going to sleep on his own last week but he's been sick this week and now it's worse than it's ever been. Tonight he required both of us to stay with him for a painful 2 hours of stalling.
I am interested in the crying stuff but worry about his safety because he throws himself around and tries to come out to see us. What do you folks whose kids are in beds, as opposed to cribs, do about the constant getting up?
My son is in a bed, and I was worried about the constant getting up, b/c he did it when I was in the room, but he doesn't do it when I'm not in the room. I don't have a night light though, so when the lights are out its dark (but I do live in NYC, so there is a bit of a city glow even when its darkest out). The first few nights, I would just go in and tuck him back in and leave. For us the first few nights were the worst, and then it evened out.
If you're worried about him throwing himself around, just make sure theres as little stuff in the room for him to hurt himself on (like shoes in the middle of the floor), my ds only throws himself around when he has an audience - its like not having an audience doesn't inspire him to be dramatic.