breastfeeding older children...

[tammylogan]

i want to reach out to all those mom's who feel alone that are breastfeeding older children, I believe clw is the very best for our children and lets them decide when they no longer need that sweet bond with their mommy.

i am a mommy of a beautiful dd and look forward to years of nursing with her...

i myself nursed on a regular basis until i was 8.5 years old and then comfort nursed/suckled when i was feeling down or lonely and it was the most wonderful sweet bond with my mom.

i hope i can help support and encourage you mom's that are struggling with breastfeeding an older child and all the negative thoughts people have, i believe its something that is beautiful and natural and a private bonding moment between mom and child.

i feel a child should be allowed to breastfeed and nurse/suckle for as long as the want no matter their age and have that special time with their mom and choose when they no longer need that bond, as children get older as in my case as a child it becomes less about the nutritional benefit which is great but becomes more about bonding and spending special alone time with their mommy.

I really feel led to start a network support system for this cause and look forward to meeting other moms who feel abandoned by their friends and/or family because they choose to do clw and feel hurt and lost trying to decide between loving and caring for their child or pleasing their family...

please message me if you feel more comfortable in sharing your story in a more private manner or reply here.

my love and support go out to all of you.

happy nursing!

tammy

[annettemarie]

Welcome to MDC, Tammy! We try hard to make our Child-Led Weaning forum here on MDC a great support system for moms who practice child-led weaning. If there's a way we can better meet this need, please feel free to PM me or another forum moderator,

[tammylogan]

i think you all are doing a wonderful job and i have talked to some amazing mommies out there so i just encourage moms to continue to support each other and be there for one another through all the stages of life as a mom...

thanks for all you do!!

:))

[ccknox]

Tammy I was quite interested to see your post on here. Especially how you talk about nursing fairly regular until weaning. I'm tandeuming with my two girls. #1 will be 5 Monday and #2 is 2.5, And I just found out #3 will join us in Jan 2012. Both will nurse multiple times during the day and even at night if they are not busy with friends or family. I can't imagine nursing 3 but also don't see either being done :) It's a point of stress in my martial relationship off and on over the last year or so that #1 is "still" nursing. He just thinks she is old enough and doesn't need it anymore. I've been reading and talking to anyone I've got time to when I remember trying to get more info or gather an answer! The best I've come up with is she is emotionally sensative we are working on it...which works when he is in a good mood but if it's a bad situation we end up in our "seperate corners" Any ideas or advice?

[anilmom]

thanks for your support. my great kid is 3 years and 9 months old...still very enthusiastic with breastfeeding. Only at bed time and some crisis moment, like when he hurts himself or for the nap. The point is: my milk now is very very little, he says: "only drops." I feel some sorry for not believing he really needs to keep with it and for this reason I think my body stopped producing milk, after so much and very much (he was only breastfed until was 13 months old and led 100% the introducing the solid food). he never had the pacifier and never the bottle. we are still co-sleeping.

My partner is quite annoyed with this prolungued breastfeeding but i don't feel like close it down from my only side. I believe the will be able to stop... but when?  What is a bit disturbing is his playing with the other breast meantime: that can drive me furious. for the rest it is very nice and sweet to allow him to be a baby when he wants and to offer him a safe nest where he love to rest. 

For your experience, is there any way to help him to ricognise himself able to go without breast??? will not become a kind of psichologic dependence to keep the mother busy with him?

[tammylogan]

I am sorry you are having problems and its becoming an issue with your partner...being that I believe in CLW I believe that a child will let you know when they no longer need to breastfeed/nurse/suckle. I think some husbands/boyfriends don't understand the emotional bond that is created through nursing your child as IMO after a child reaches a certain age it becomes more about the bonding time with their mommy and comfort nursing rather then the actual need for the nutritional benefits of mommy's milk.

I think nipple/breast twiddling is very common for children nursing, I did the same thing with my mom when I nursed and my dd does it with me too, I read that it helps to stimulate milk flow in your breasts and its natural for a child to do that.

So each child is different and what a mom chooses to do should be what is best for their child and themselves. I hope that your partner can learn to understand this and not force something because they are being selfish or because they don't understand.

I know that I comfort nursed/suckled for longer then what is considered "normal" (8.5+ years old) and I get attacked from other moms because of it, because they can't see themselves ever doing such a thing or judging someone because they don't understand, but love will always overcome hate.

I was a child doing what to me was totally normal, I didn't see it as strange or weird or disgusting, it's funny how adults will use their adult mind and try to place those thoughts onto an innocent child and how they see the world at that age.

So again I say do what is right for you and your child/family, just love your child and be their mommy and that's all you can do...

As a mommy myself now spending time with my dd is the best part of my life and I love her with all my heart and just pray that I can love her and be there for her like my Mom was for me. I will let her breastfeed/nurse/suckle for as long as she wants and needs that bond with me, I don't put an age limitation on it as she will let me know when she no longer needs that bond with me, and then I will continue to be there for her in new ways, always loving her.

My definitions:

Nursing/Breastfeeding = nutritional benefits of mommies milk for child.

Comfort Nursing/Suckling = an older child still needing/wanting that bond with mommy, but not the nutrients.

Wishing you the best,

Tammy

Originally Posted by anilmom 

thanks for your support. my great kid is 3 years and 9 months old...still very enthusiastic with breastfeeding. Only at bed time and some crisis moment, like when he hurts himself or for the nap. The point is: my milk now is very very little, he says: "only drops." I feel some sorry for not believing he really needs to keep with it and for this reason I think my body stopped producing milk, after so much and very much (he was only breastfed until was 13 months old and led 100% the introducing the solid food). he never had the pacifier and never the bottle. we are still co-sleeping.

My partner is quite annoyed with this prolungued breastfeeding but i don't feel like close it down from my only side. I believe the will be able to stop... but when?  What is a bit disturbing is his playing with the other breast meantime: that can drive me furious. for the rest it is very nice and sweet to allow him to be a baby when he wants and to offer him a safe nest where he love to rest. 

For your experience, is there any way to help him to ricognise himself able to go without breast??? will not become a kind of psichologic dependence to keep the mother busy with him?

[ccknox]

Tammy something you said seemed to put words to something I never could. "IMO after a child reaches a certain age it becomes more about the bonding time with their mommy and comfort nursing rather then the actual need for the nutritional benefits of mommy's milk." I feel my oldest does both...it's nice to be able to have words to explain it.

I know I'm not bonded well in ways other than nursing with my girls...I think my next thing should be increasing that bond/ special mommy time in ways other than nursing. Oh now how to do that! 

Anilmom - When I was pg with my second I put an end to the twiddling really fast. They can learn. it's a two way thing...it has to work for both of you.

[Thandiwe]

Please be aware that several posts have been deleted.  There were unkind words directed towards a member and were not productive to a conversation which was resuming after a break of a few months.  Please note that a moderator has already addressed the OP earlier in the thread.  Should you have any concerns that a member on the boards is a troll, use discretion, flag the posts you are concerned about, and list it as a reason.  Please do not attack a member - especially a new member - openly on the boards.  At this point, there is no reason to believe her posts are erroneous.  Thank you for your understanding.

[Passionate]

I just want to say how happy I am to find this thread.  This is actually the first time I've posted on MDC and I came looking for some support in this very area - CLW.  It's late so I won't go into a lot, I feel such a breath of fresh air around the whole subject now that I think I can sleep for now!  : )

By way of introduction, I am mother of a single child, my lovely and spirited 5 1/2 year old daughter.  She still comfort nurses, but generally just to sleep.  I no longer have milk, I haven't for about a year.  DH reluctantly supports, altho he may not even realize we still nurse to sleep.  My worry is that dd cannot go to sleep any other way, but maybe that's just normal for her.  She tends to be a bit high strung, intellectual and highly emotional so maybe her continued need to nurse is just that emotional maturity taking it's sweet time.  I know her grandma, who stays with her two days a week when I nurse is very vocally against it but I have told dd that our nursing is strictly between me and her and no one else and not to worry about what Grandma says but I know it causes DD some upset to know Grandma disapproves.  Truth be told, I could wish she were done, but honestly only because I, too, sometimes worry that she needs it soooo badly.  Maybe tho it's more about me and the disapproval I know surrounds the whole business.  And, honestly, I never in my wildest dreams would have thought I would be where I am today - I am both blessed and know it and amazed - I had my sweet dd at the age of 45, so I am now 50, so of course I am done making milk.  I feel I am in an odd category for our culture - over 50 with a 5 1/2 year old who nurses but gets no milk! 

[kdaisy]

 And, honestly, I never in my wildest dreams would have thought I would be where I am today - I am both blessed and know it and amazed - I had my sweet dd at the age of 45, so I am now 50, so of course I am done making milk.  I feel I am in an odd category for our culture - over 50 with a 5 1/2 year old who nurses but gets no milk! 

You are awesome!