I tried to follow "the rules" in the beginning. I slept under a tiny blanket constantly paranoid I was going to suffocate her.
What I found was that the couple of times a blanket did actually get on her face when she was sleeping in the crook
of my arm, I was so alert to it, I noticed before she even stirred.
I find that a lot of mamas are super alert to their LOs even when sleeping. I have slept with a dog on the bed,
a cat next to DD sleeping, DD between DH and I...Multiple blankets on the bed and tons of pillows. Never had a problem.
I always make the sure the bed is set up safely each night and now that DD is older I don't even sweat it.
I even let her sleep on her stomach when she was little because I was right next to her and was very aware of her breathing and movement.
This is also true for me. I woke up instantly both times the blanket went over DS's head and once I woke up in time to catch him before he rolled off the bed (we since have moved the mattress to the floor). Our dogs sleep at the foot of the bed and sometimes they snuggled close to the LO, but we also mostly did little shrimp/big shrimp position and he was safely snuggled next to me. I let him sleep on his side, but in skin to skin contact with me because I feel that it helped regulate his breathing and was a better protection from SIDS. I used a receiving blanket over my upper body and DS when he was little but after 6 months or so we just started sharing the comforter. He frequently slept between DH and I. (We switch sides all the time when he nurses)
I never take medications that affect sleep (I rarely take medications period) and we don't go to bed drunk (I've had a glass of wine though and do just fine with that)
So yes, we break most of the rules and we feel safe doing so. I trust my body and my instincts and it's been working well for us.