do you follow all the co-sleeping "rules"? - Page 2

[marinak1977]

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

I tried to follow "the rules" in the beginning. I slept under a tiny blanket constantly paranoid I was going to suffocate her.

What I found was that the couple of times a blanket did actually get on her face when she was sleeping in the crook

of my arm, I was so alert to it, I noticed before she even stirred. 
I find that a lot of mamas are super alert to their LOs even when sleeping. I have slept with a dog on the bed,

a cat next to DD sleeping, DD between DH and I...Multiple blankets on the bed and tons of pillows. Never had a problem.

I always make the sure the bed is set up safely each night and now that DD is older I don't even sweat it.

I even let her sleep on her stomach when she was little because I was right next to her and was very aware of her breathing and movement.

This is also true for me. I woke up instantly both times the blanket went over DS's head and once I woke up in time to catch him before he rolled off the bed (we since have moved the mattress to the floor). Our dogs sleep at the foot of the bed and sometimes they snuggled close to the LO, but we also mostly did little shrimp/big shrimp position and he was safely snuggled next to me. I let him sleep on his side, but in skin to skin contact with me because I feel that it helped regulate his breathing and was a better protection from SIDS. I used a receiving blanket over my upper body and DS when he was little but after 6 months or so we just started sharing the comforter. He frequently slept between DH and I. (We switch sides all the time when he nurses)
I never take medications that affect sleep (I rarely take medications period) and we don't go to bed drunk (I've had a glass of wine though and do just fine with that)
So yes, we break most of the rules and we feel safe doing so. I trust my body and my instincts and it's been working well for us.

[chewynotcrunchy]

Its reassuring to know I'm not the only blanket using, cat cuddling, occassional wine drinker, obese mom who sleeps with her baby between her parents in a bed on a frame with no guard rails!  Wow, that was a mouthful!

[rachieface]

I guess I didn't even realize that one of the "rules" was no sleeping between parents. My son sleeps between us (the second half of the night when he moves to our bed) so that he doesn't have a chance to fall off the bed. My husband, though, is a pretty light sleeper so he's aware of where the baby's at.  

No way I could handle no blankets/no pillows.  Ugh.  Now that J is almost 10 months old, I have very few co-sleeping worries.  I was way more paranoid when he was itty bitty.  

[sapphire_chan]

No. And especially not now that she's over 2.

We actually found that a big poofy comforter stayed off her face better because it would tent over us and stay above her.

Now, because she slept right by my breasts the whole time, pillows weren't anywhere near her. I have no idea how anyone who does night nursing could have their baby anywhere near their pillows. Long stretchy breasts? I have those and couldn't get dd up to the pillows.

The one safety thing I did do is if dh was in a twitchy sleep mode like he gets sometimes, I put dd on the outside. And when she was crawling a lot we put the mattress on the floor mostly so she'd be able to climb up herself sooner. And our bed was in the middle of the room not on a wall so no bed/wall gap to contend with.

[Princessjules]

I have little brothers (ages 5, 3 and 1) and I have coslept with them enough to know that I am pretty aware even when I'm asleep. DH and I are expecting our first in Sept and I feel pretty comfortable with cosleeping as long as we don't break the major rules (i.e. going to bed intoxicated, using drugs or medications that would impair judgment etc.). I don't know if I will put the baby in the middle at first because I don't know how DH will sleep with a baby. I'm sure it will be fine after he gets used to it but at first i just plan on using pillows or cuddling baby to keep him/her from rolling over. I love cuddling and DH doesn't like to while going to sleep so I hope this baby likes it. lol

Also, my parents coslept with all 6 of us and as far as I know they used pillows and blankets and we never really had any pets and obeseity was never an issue. I think it is just up to what feels right and safe for you. Most of it is (or should be) common sense.

[Adaline'sMama]

No, not since about the time she turned 4 months old. Once she could roll over, push her head and chest up with her arms, and I got over the initial "omg, I might roll over on her" phase. We have a bedrail on my side, and sometimes she sleeps between us. We use pillows and a big comforter, we have our bed up off the floor,and  our kitty sometimes jumps up on the bed (I usually kick him off because he weighs 20 lbs and is loud). We never take any sleep inducing drugs, but we do occasionally drink a couple of beers :). She has a mattress on the floor next to our bed, which is where she starts out the night. She (knocks on wood) stays there until about 3 am, when she joins us in the big bed.

[faeriecurls]

The only rule I stick to is no intoxication. I have a whole bunch of pillows, but since DD spends most of the night with a boob in her mouth, they aren't near her. We have a big down comforter, it covers just her feet/legs sometimes - it's more dangerous to her when she wakes up and tries to play peek a boo with it and it gets stuck because she hasn't worked out how to move something so big away from her face yet. We also switch sides all night so she is between me & the cosleeper part of the time, and me and DH the other part. We have a pretty high bed on a frame with no guard rails, but since the cosleeper is there, she wouldn't go far. I didn't feel super comfortable early on though but I think it was more FTM nerves & severe lack of sleep.

[littlemizflava]

this was the set up for both of mine with the addition of a 4 year old when my youngest was born. baby slept by the wall or inbetween. the bed next to the wall was a halfdead :lol not new stuff bear (this prevented anyone from hitting their head on the wall), 3 pillows in the bed (2 downfilled & 1 memory foam), sheet and a downfilled blanket year round.

[ar2974]

My now 4 year old feel out of the bed multiple times - I wish I'd had bed rails then.  She used to mostly sleep between us so I guess I broke most of the rules.  Cat on bed, comforter, pillows, no rail.  I have a 4 month old now and he usually sleeps between me and the co-sleeper.  I use my comforter and do pull it up over him.  He sleeps on his back and side.  The cat still sleep on the bed.  Baby is between dh and I sometimes when I want to sleep on the other side and nurse but it's not often.  His sister gets into bed with us sometimes and though she usually gets between dh and I she sometimes gets in beside her brother.

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by ar2974 

My now 4 year old feel out of the bed multiple times - I wish I'd had bed rails then.  She used to mostly sleep between us so I guess I broke most of the rules.  Cat on bed, comforter, pillows, no rail.  I have a 4 month old now and he usually sleeps between me and the co-sleeper.  I use my comforter and do pull it up over him.  He sleeps on his back and side.  The cat still sleep on the bed.  Baby is between dh and I sometimes when I want to sleep on the other side and nurse but it's not often.  His sister gets into bed with us sometimes and though she usually gets between dh and I she sometimes gets in beside her brother.

Our DD fell off the bed 5 times I believe. All but 1 of the times DH and I were literally in the room with her and standing right next to her, we just happened to be looking somewhere else and off she rolled! I thought we might need bed rails but she very quickly learned to just call out when she woke up from naps instead of roll around the bed! I do remember the first time she fell off the bed I cried just as hard as she did.

[cristeen]

Obese - yup
Pillows - yup
Bottle fed - yup
Blankets - yup

We moved the matress to the floor when he started crawling.
Daddy sleeps next to him on Mommy's night off, DH and I haven't shared a bed since before he was born.

Other than drugs, i think we've briken every rule.

[Ellien C]

Originally Posted by Yaliina 

NAK.   We don't follow any of that.  DS1 is 5 now, and bed-shares about 1/2 the night or so (starts in his own bed), and DS2 is 8 months and sleeps in my arms wherever I am and he wants to be.  He tosses throughout the night, and we switch sides 2-8 times each nigh, so sometimes he's on the edge of the bed, sometimes between me and DH, and sometimes between me & DS.  He's always in my arms, though.  We use pillows (lots) and a sheet and big down comforter in the winter (a quilt in the summer).  DH is obese, but I'm not.  Now, we have a big king bed (which I wouldn't trade for ANYTHING), but it's up plenty high.  We do not have any animals in the room, nor would I allow animals on my bed, especially with my kids, but that's me.  My last animal that slept with us was a 90 lb. bulldog, so maybe my frame of reference is skewed, lol. 

My opinion is that you should be safe- so don't take any drugs whatsoever, drink alcohol, or be ridiculously tired to sleep with baby in your bed.  Otherwise, trust your mothering instincts and go with the flow.  Don't stress.  People have been sleeping with their babies in every country in the world since the beginning of time.  I think we can do it without an instruction manual, lol!!

This is us except it's an 8 yo in the bed and the cats frequently join us. I have a co-sleeper - the cats love it - but the 1 year old climbs back into the bed whenever he notices he's in it.

[Summersquash]

Originally Posted by chel 

i think the no pillow/blanket rule was not made by a co-sleeper.  no one would naturally sleep like that.

Except my DD!  She will not use a blanket.  We finally convinced her to try a pillow a couple of months ago for the first time but inevitably pushes it away so she can sleep with her head on the mattress.

I sleep with a sheet up to my waist and she puts her legs on top of the sheet on her side so it doesn't bother her.

[allisonrose]

Yup, I've violated those rules. I would have a very hard time sleeping with a pillow or blanket. With our first, baby did end up being myself and my hubby. Occasionally I'd wake up early and hop in for a shower leaving my son snoozing in bed with hubby. With two, I've napped with them both although I think just once or twice were they next to one another (my toddler is not the gentle type). I think our cat might have slept near the foot of the bed a couple of times when our first was a baby.

[~Demeter~]

When I first started having babies there were no 'rules' to co-sleeping, other than no one admitted to doing it lol. I always used a pillow and a blanket, we've had sibs in the bed, baby slept between dh and I, baby slept next to the wall, no guardrails, etc. Currently I have 2 mattresses on the floor, hubby sleeps on the smaller one and I sleep with our 2 girls on the queen mattress. My 3 year old occasionally kicks and flails so I've become pretty tuned into her movements and act accordingly. Sometimes my 9 year old comes to bed with us (so that's 3 babies in my bed, lol, plus dh and myself). I think being smart about it is key... I can't sleep without a blanket so I'm pretty aware of it (and her) when it's pulled up on me. Babe sleeps by my breasts and on her tummy... as did her 4 sibs before her.

[DBZ]

I guess I break all the rules. Oh well. 

I think someone should not co-sleep if they have been drinking or doing drugs. I also think it might not be a good idea if you sleep very heavily. Common sense goes a long way. I think the people who wrote that book were writing that from a lawsuit perspective.

[Knitting Mama]

Nope, we don't follow them. Cecilia has slept in my arms, swaddled, since birth. She is between my husband and I most of the night, although sometimes I flip over with her still in my arms and hold her with her on the outer side. She has also slept with her head and shoulders on my pillow since 6 or so weeks old, when I noticed that she was having lots of silent reflux episodes. The pillow helped keep her upper body elevated, and these days she's just used to it, so I don't see any reason to change it. She also sleeps on her stomach (still swaddled!) a lot. The blanket is not usually over her, as she has her swaddle blanket, and I get too hot at night with her in my arms to need a blanket.

I understand why the rules are there, and I think they are great guidelines for people who want to co-sleep but are unsure they can handle it or that it is safe. But for us, what we're doing works well.

[Swan3]

I think a lot of those rules are a good guideline but I think that you need to look at what you're trying to avoid by following these rules, and the age of the child.

When our babes were newborns, we made sure that we wrapped blankets around ourselves and that she was warmly dressed and didn't need a blanket. She slept in between us to prevent falling. As both of our girls got older, our rules relaxed. Now we sleep four to a bed sometimes, Mom, Dad, 18 month old and four year old. Sometimes the cat joins us too! I'm obese (I HATE that word)...but I'm also the girl's mama and can sense when they're waking and where they are. We have no guardrails, as my daughter loves to try and climb over them...

What works for us won't work for everyone...I think it's good to have rules but the best thing is to use common sense when doing anything in parenting!

[Jen286]

Nope, don't follow those. Our rules are baby doesn't go under the covers, minimal fluffy stuff on the bed (but we both still have a pillow and sleep under a blanket or quilt), baby between us so she doesn't roll off, both stay in the habit of waking a little when she does so we both stay alert to her, watch for and fix immediately any gaps baby could fall into, and don't bedshare when intoxicated. Our little one is about to turn two and, at this point, most of these rules have drifted off in favor of letting her sleep how she's comfortable. No gaps and intoxication are pretty much all we still hold tight to. 

[emeraldhips]

When DD was a newborn, we used a "Snuggle Nest" in bed between us. It's basically a firm-sided travel bed. She grew out of it in about 2 months. Then I created a little palette for her on top of the comforter. Found an old bulletin board, and folded up a large quilt and put on top of it. That way, she was slightly elevated, and couldn't be "rolled on." But of course with night nursing, she often ended up right next to me. We have a king bed, and DH has plenty of room, so I'm not worried about it now. She's about 6 mos now, and just sleeps in between us. We have pillow and blankets, of course. We don't have central heat, so it gets pretty cold in the winter. Our bed is on the floor, but always has been b/c we just haven't gotten around to buying a bed frame. But we definitely do not co-sleep after drinking heavily or altering medications. No animals are in the house, so that's not an issue. There were a couple times when DH would get up and just toss the covers over her, but I'm such a light sleeper, I would fix it immediately. Also, she's been sleeping on her stomach since about 3 weeks. She just started refusing to sleep on her back and would cry and fuss. We flipped her over, it was like magic. But again, I would always sleep so close to her, I could feel her breathing.

So, yes indeed we are a rule breaker.