How should I react to people lying to me?

[Adaline'sMama]

I feel like I am having a hard time knowing what to do when I know that someone is lying to me. In the past few weeks, I have caught 4 people lying to me. I know this is over the top, but Im not sure what I should do or say when I catch someone in a lie. Sometimes these are people who pay me money, so its not like I can point it out to them, but I feel like they must think I am a complete and that Ill belive anything they are saying to me. Here are the situations:

1. A woman that I was supposed to have a meeting with for the project we are voluenteering for told me that one of her kids had the flu and she couldnt come.I ran into her at  local Mexican restaurant having margarhitas with a mutual friend of ours during the time she was supposed to meet with me. Upon being asked to join them, I decided to leave because it would be super akward for me to hang out with someone that lied to me. Our mutual friend told me that she didnt say anything about one of her kids having the flu.

2. One of my really good friends has been trying to leave her husband for quite a while. She had plans to come and stay  with me for a few weeks after she left, and she decided not to leave him 3 hours before I was supposed to come and help her move her stuff out. (This is my last time helping, Ive dedicated my life to helping her get out 3 times and she wont leave- hes not abusive, just lazy and not emotionally available) She told me that she told him that she was thinking about leaving and that they worked a bunch of stuff out. She said that she went so far as to tell him that I was about to pick her up. My DH ran into her husband during the period of time that she claimed to have been having this discussion (she told me about it word for word). Then, I saw him later in the week and told him that I was sorry about having to go behind his back, but that I was really just trying to help her be a happier person. He had no idea what I was talking about.

3. I called a woman that I clean for and left a voicemail on her phone saying that I would need to reschedule. When she called me back, I asked her if she got my message, and she said "No, I didnt listen, I just called you back, whats up?". After I told her that I would need to reschedule she was really pissy about it and she said "Fine, Wednesay is fine with me, but you'll have to come in the morning." I never said one word about Wednesday in the conversation. She would have had to listen to the message, which she claims she didnt do, to know that I wanted to reschedule for Wednesday. (Wed. is also a day that I can never come, so she wouldnt assign that day to me or anything)

4. This one was someone asking me to lie for them.  The 89 year old woman that I cook for asked me to call a man and tell him that we were out of his wife's jam. I told her that we still had four jars of it and she told me that she wanted to tell him we were out anyway, so that he would be quicker about bringing it to her. She said, "Its not a problem to tell a little white lie every now and again!"   

So, I feel like people just think I can be lied to and Ill never call them on it, so they can just continue to lie.

[widemouthedfrog]

Scenario one - I'd be rather irritated. She'd probably be embarrassed. At a private time (not in the heat of the moment), I would let her know that if she ever needs to bail on an event, that's ok with me, just let me know. 

Scenario two - She's probably exaggerating. It sounds like something that you're trying to remove yourself anyway. I would let it slide and remove yourself from the situation.

Scenario three - Might have just been a coincidence. I wouldn't have a big problem with it.

Scenario four - I'd say, why don't I call him and let him know that we'd like some more soon? You don't need to say you're out of the jam.

People will do these things and if they are really minor, I'd let them slide. For bigger ones like scenario 1, I'd find a nice way of letting the person know that you're not going to be angry if they tell you the truth.