The annoying & rude comments thread

[allical1284]

Well, it's about that time in our pregnancies when it seems everyone comes out of the woodwork to add their annoying and/or rude comments regarding our bodies, babies, choices, etc...

Friday, I got my first "you look like you're ready to pop" comment and today at breakfast I got my first, "Are you sure there is only one baby in there".  I am declining to comment on whether or not these two people are still alive...

My MIL is adding her own thoughts into the mix (every.single.time I see her).  

Seriously though, I would never say these things to people I know much less a total stranger!!

I guess you can never win when you're pregnant though; with DD I carried much smaller, and I had people ask me if my baby was "normal" because my belly was small.  Argh...

Is it a feasible idea to hide in the house for the next ~6 weeks?

[crazyms]

LOL I know what you mean! I had a woman in the grocery store give me that "Wow you're ready to drop." I was in the middle of trying to round up ds and was so stunned by the interruption and comment I didn't know what to say. I guess I should have gone on a rampage "No I have 8 more weeks! Yeah guess I'll be big as a house by then right? And I have back aches, cramps, it feels like the baby is stabbing a knife out of my na-na, my 'girls' are so sore I wanna cry if something rubs against them, I'm leaking, add some heartburn and indigestion, oh and the insomnia. Wanna come visit in 6 more weeks and see how I'm doing? Then I can tell you about the prodromal labor, how the baby is never going to come out, I'm pouring not leaking, oh and the discharge.. should have some mucous plug by then too yum."

Grr people shouldn't mess with preggos. All for plead the 5th and temporary insanity over here.

[Oregonicmama]

I got my first "you're so big" comment this week too.  At a classroom party for DD's kindergarten one of the other moms asked how much longer I had to go.  I told her the baby is due April 28th and she said "oh wow!  You look like you could go any day now!"  I don't think I look like I could go any day now so I just sort of laughed and gave her a "aren't you a little crazy" look.  No one has said anything like that to me yet, so it took me by surprise a bit.  And sort of makes me wonder how big I really will end up getting!

[bleumoose]

Oh man, I get the best comments from one particular woman I see a couple times a week, usually some variation on "You're getting fatter and fatter!" I don't take great offense from it, because of the particular woman and the way in which she says it. But still, it's not exactly the most tactful thing people say to me

I also get a vast assortment of comments ranging from "You're huge!" to "you're so cute and tiny" to "You're sure there aren't twins in there?", so I have concluded that people have their own preconceived notions of how big pregnant bellies are that have no bearing on reality. Personally i think I'm a lot smaller than I was with my previous two. I can't wait to get down my bellycast that was done at 38 weeks with DS2 and compare it to when I reach that point.

[Neuromancer]

My female boss (who does not have children) keeps telling people (in front of me) that I'm huge, that my baby is going to be huge, etc. Several kind people have tried to turn it around by saying, "Oh, you mean tall?" because I am 5'10" tall. I definitely feel big, but I don't feel THAT big. And I've only gained a low-normal amount of weight, so I know it's because my boss just has no idea how "huge" huge can get. Still, I wish she'd stop. My male bosses (who all have children) never say anything like this. I don't think it's their gender, but the close association with at least one pregnancy that is keeping them nicer about it.

[yamilee21]

I should find the posts I made from my last DDC (July 2008) about all the rude things said and done to me, especially in the last two weeks or so. People have lost all sense of what full-term pregnancy is supposed to look like; I wonder if it is because so many babies are induced relatively early these days?

I have been getting rude annoying comments all along. I have a short torso, which means there is no place for my belly to go but out, plus this is my 5th pregnancy (3rd baby), so I started showing pretty much from the very beginning. Back in October people thought I was "about to pop!" I get asked about twins all the time, sometimes even triplets! These days it's, "Any day now?" to which I always respond, "No, about another two months" ... love the jaw-dropping looks I get from that answer.

[donutmolly]

I got a "still haven't had that baby yet?" comment when I walked into church last week -- I had to laugh, since I have felt extra huge this time around and have been showing forever.  And it was pretty funny to see the expression of this poor gentleman when I said, "Oh goodness, I hope not!  I have 6 more weeks to go!!"

[Mamato3wild ponnie]

I had a very nice lady ask me yesterday how many months is my baby????? I said i have 6 more weeks to go and she said " oh your so beautiful" That was soooooo nice!

I feel huge and busted.....but she was my angel for the day. Since i do live in Mexico and I dont speak much spanish....i havent had many people say anything to me. And if they did...i probably wouldnt know what they are saying....lol.

[othersomethings]

I get the jaw drop every time when I say "at least a month" instead of what I assume they expect..."oh yeah, due tomorrow..."

And I've had about a dozen people (strangers and people I know) tell me I've "dropped." He's low. I know that. I can feel him trying to escape, believe me I know he is low. But this dropping nonsense...I find that a little rude. Actually no...I find it crude. It's a crude term IMO. My baby hasn't "dropped" anywhere or anything. Everything is where they are supposed to be, and if he's running out of room and heading south, fine by me. Less work later.

[guppiegirl]

Ugh, seriously, what is up with the inappropriate and rude comments? Someone else pointed out earlier, that it always women making the comments. I hadn't thought about that. I work with lots of men (almost all have kids and grandkids) and have heard not a peep about my size, due date or anything drawing attention to my body. I go into a meeting or interact with women at work and the comments just seem to fly out of their mouths.

I've only gained 30 lbs and am almost 35 weeks. The belly is all up front & center & I haven't put on weight anywhere else.

Do people have no realistic idea of what a pregnant lady looks like in her 9th month? Other women seem all astounded by my size.

When asked, "how many are in there?" I have started replying, "Eight, and I'm planning on raising them all on welfare!"

[gagin37]

I had a random lady sitting in the doctor's office of all places, make a pretty snide comment about how close together my kids will be.  "Oh, are you having another?" "Boy you're sure having them back to back huh?"  to which I replied "Well, ds here will be nearly 3 when the baby is born.  We felt like that was a good spacing for our family"  But really, what business is it of hers??  I think 32 months hardly qualifies as 'back to back'.  But maybe it does to some folks.  Then she went on to quiz me about whether or not we would be having any more after that.  OMG lady!?  She may have not been there for OB care, but she was in an office that see on average, 200 pregnant patients a day (according to the nurses).  The lady in front of me in line had a much, much younger child than mine, and was pretty far along already.  I could see her being uncomfortable by this woman's comments to me.  Do people have no tact at all?  

[EricaRN]

Originally Posted by gagin37 

I had a random lady sitting in the doctor's office of all places, make a pretty snide comment about how close together my kids will be.  "Oh, are you having another?" "Boy you're sure having them back to back huh?"  to which I replied "Well, ds here will be nearly 3 when the baby is born.  We felt like that was a good spacing for our family"  But really, what business is it of hers??  I think 32 months hardly qualifies as 'back to back'.  But maybe it does to some folks.  Then she went on to quiz me about whether or not we would be having any more after that.  OMG lady!?  She may have not been there for OB care, but she was in an office that see on average, 200 pregnant patients a day (according to the nurses).  The lady in front of me in line had a much, much younger child than mine, and was pretty far along already.  I could see her being uncomfortable by this woman's comments to me.  Do people have no tact at all?  

Yes, THIS! We get those comments ALLL THE TIME! DD just turned 3 in January, DS is 22 months and I'm 34 weeks with #3 so yes our kids ARE all close, yes this WILL be my 3rd baby in 3 years... THANK YOU I"M AWARE OF THAT! lol. When people say to me "Oh wow, how far apart are they going to be?" or "are they twins?" (to my son and daughter who are 15 months apart), etc. I've started saying "Yea we actually love our children and view them as blessings not burdens." Oh and the other comment we get all the time is "oh honey there is such a thing as birth control"...... SERIOUSLY?? I can't believe people have the balls to say this. I ALWAYS reply to that one: "if only your mom had known about it" and smile and walk away. If someone has the audacity to say something like that to a pregnant woman (or ANY woman) then they certainly deserve whatever comment I decide to spew back at them.

[kittn]

i have a lot of people asking if Im having twins, or if im sure I only have one in there. it makes me sad because I really wanted twins this time.. I am just tiny with a small upper body so this poor baby has nowhere to go but out! I was showing at 9 weeks.

and while I get that 5 kids may seem like a ton to a lot of people it's not 19!! every single person who hears im on number five  first asks "your done now right?" like my fertility is any of their business. Im raising them, paying for them and they are all healthy. so their next remark is always "oh pretty soon your going to be like that lady on 19 and counting!or OCTOMOM!" WTH????!!!! seriously

then there are the people that assume because I have four boys that I am just trying to have a girl. NO. i like having boys. in fact I wanted four boys by 30 got that. now yes I would like a girl I will not be heartbroken if its a boy. I will be overjoyed. in fact I think it is probably a boy

ok

sorry for the wild vent

[Blanca78]

I'm still getting hardly any comments. If I do, it's usually people who are surprised at how I only have two months to go--they comment on how small I look. Which doesn't really bother me because now at least I am obviously pregnant--before I was paranoid people would think I was having a hysterical pregnancy (I got my first comments from strangers at 28 weeks or so). People keep saying "you look great" in this surprised way, where "great" is obviously a euphemism for "smaller than I expected." Which is a little weird, because don't women who are bigger also look great? It's a bit embarrassing because I don't know what to say--thanks, but also, it feels weird to me--awkward to feel like people are scrutinizing my looks--I thought I would be so much bigger by now. This is just what my body's doing. I haven't gained much weight (10 lbs) and I don't know why--this is my first pregnancy and I am surprised myself. But the doctor isn't worried, just says the baby is doing fine, size-wise (actually measuring a bit ahead) so it's not an issue.

[MrsBone]

Every time I hear a comment, I just remind myself that people just want to talk to pregnant women. They don't know what to say exactly, but they want to say something, and most of the time, the comments are just not what we want to hear, so that helps me.

The other day, a woman asked me what I was having, and I said girl. She asked if I already had a girl and I said nope, a 2 year old boy. She said "oh, so you're done then?!" Really? Why does that mean I'm done?

The same day, some guy (early 20's) said "Oh, you're pregnant? Congratulations. Is this your first?" me "no, I have a son." him "oh, same husband?"

WTF?

[EricaRN]

Originally Posted by MrsBone 

The same day, some guy (early 20's) said "Oh, you're pregnant? Congratulations. Is this your first?" me "no, I have a son." him "oh, same husband?"

WTF?

HAHAHAHAHA! OMG this literally made me laugh out loud. So weird!

[abiyhayil]

Originally Posted by MrsBone 

Every time I hear a comment, I just remind myself that people just want to talk to pregnant women. They don't know what to say exactly, but they want to say something, and most of the time, the comments are just not what we want to hear, so that helps me.

The other day, a woman asked me what I was having, and I said girl. She asked if I already had a girl and I said nope, a 2 year old boy. She said "oh, so you're done then?!" Really? Why does that mean I'm done?

The same day, some guy (early 20's) said "Oh, you're pregnant? Congratulations. Is this your first?" me "no, I have a son." him "oh, same husband?"

WTF?

Haha, I was looking for the like button :p  I wonder why people feel so drawn to pregnant women, they could spend their whole day passing by people

[minkajane]

I get a lot of shocked remarks when people realize how far along I am. Until about 2 weeks ago, when I was sitting, you couldn't even tell I was pregnant. I weighed myself today and I've gained 18 pounds (though I did lose about 5 at the beginning) so it's not like I'm skeletal or anything.

[Geist]

The only person who makes comments to me is my husband. The best one so far this pregnancy was when he told me that this time I actually look like I'm pregnant while with my last pregnancy I just looked a little fat :p. He really likes to marvel over how big pregnant bellies get and thinks it's a complement when he tells pregnant women how amazing it is their bellies can get so big!

He's very, very lucky he hasn't gotten punched yet.

[Oregonicmama]

My DP told me I have a "bear gullet," called me a "tanker" and then changed it to the "love boat" all in one day.  lol.  He's lucky I have a good sense of humor.